


I Just Want a Normal Life Pt.1

by Anime_fangirl823



Series: I just want a normal life [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Cuban Lance (Voltron), Depression, Drinking, Drunk Keith (Voltron), Fluff and Smut, Gay Keith (Voltron), Heavy Drinking, Hurt Keith (Voltron), Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Keith (Voltron) Angst, Klance smut, M/M, Older Keith, Older Lance, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Abuse, Pining Keith (Voltron), Plot With Porn, Protective Shiro (Voltron), Shiro (Voltron) is a Good Sibling, Slow Burn, Smut, Swearing, Triggers, klance happy ending, older Pidge, older hunk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-22
Updated: 2018-09-24
Packaged: 2019-07-01 05:08:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 23
Words: 53,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15767238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anime_fangirl823/pseuds/Anime_fangirl823
Summary: Keith is depressed about losing his latest job, but at least he has his brother Shiro and his best friend Lance there to help him through his rough patch. But when Keith runs into someone from his past things take a turn for the worst, and Lance is the only one that can do something about it.





	1. Chapter 1

I laid awake in my bed, the sound of the ceiling fan whirring above me, the glow of the early morning sun spilling in through the window onto my feet. It was going to be a good day I thought, everything was going to be okay.

The smell of bacon filled the air as I sat up, rubbing my sleep deprived eyes, my raven locks falling onto my face as always. I swung my legs over the edge of my bed and planted my feet on the ground.

I pulled on my khaki pants and my black work shirt, clipping my name tag to its usual spot before following the intoxicating aroma coming from the kitchen. It seemed Hunk and Lance had woken up early today to make breakfast, Hunk was the best at cooking, and Lance was an amazing baker. God how I wish Lance would bake for me for the rest of my life, but that was never going to happen, he’ll leave just like everyone else.

“Morning Keith,” Hunk said with a smile. He flipped what looked like an omelet, but you never knew with his cooking, it could be something completely different. He had a knack for trying out weird recipes.

“Good morning hunk,” I replied.

Lance was my best friend, but I could hardly make eye contact with him without my heart beating out of my chest. “Good morning Lance.” 

“Morning, dude you gotta try my cinnamon buns, I think I got them perfect today.” The smile on his face gave me butterflies in my stomach, but the food in his hands made it growl. “Sounds like someone’s hungry.” He wiggled his brows in my face.

“Of course I’m hungry, I just woke up.”

*Yawns* "Mornin’ everyone,” Shiro said sleepily making his way into the kitchen.

I made my way over to the cupboard, pulling out a mug and filling it with fresh coffee from the pot. The aroma mixed with the freshly baked cinnamon rolls and bacon was like heaven to my nose. I set the cup down in front of my brother, who now had his head laying on the table.

“Come on Shiro, you gotta get ready for work, drink this.” I picked up his hand and set it on the handle.

“Oh my god Keith, you’re the best,” He said perking up.

I chuckled as I sat down in the chair next to him. Hunk finished setting all of the food out and we all began to dig in, I went straight for the cinnamon rolls, of course. Damn, he was right, they really were perfect this time, so fluffy and flavorful, still warm. I caught myself smiling, maybe this really was going to be a good day.

“Shit, I gotta go guys, sorry.” I scrambled out of my seat looking at my watch. I stopped just for a second, “Thanks for the food, oh and, you were right Lance, the rolls were perfect today.” With that said I made my way to work.

It was nothing fancy, just a warehouse job, but at the moment it was the only job I could hold down. I might have a bit of a temper from time to time, it was the only way I knew how to cope with things, not saying it was a good way, but the only way I knew, so I had a bit of a hard time keeping jobs.

I hoisted box after box off of the back of the truck, with little to no help, everyone here already hated me for fighting with Rolo my first week. To be fair, Rolo had started the whole thing with his constant remarks about my family, how they had abandoned me and left me with nothing but an empty house and some money. All that aside, I punched him in the face and now everyone hated me.

Finally, it was break time, so I headed to the only place I knew I would have some privacy, the roof. I wasn’t actually allowed up here, but I didn’t really care, it was the only place I could eat my lunch in peace.

“I wonder what Lance is up to? If I know Lance and his schedule, then I have no idea what he’s doing, because that kid doesn’t know how to schedule anything.” I laughed to myself as I pulled out my phone.

K: Hey Lance, what’s up?  
…  
L: Not much, just got back from the gym, about to take a nap.  
L: Did you want to talk about something, is Rolo bugging you again?  
…  
K: It’s all good, same old same old.  
K: You know you can take a nap, I can quit bugging you if you want.  
L: What no, you never bug me.  
K: Are you sure? I don’t want to be a burden.  
L: Dude, what did I tell you about using that word.  
K: Sorry, I just can’t help it.  
K: Do you have work tonight?  
L: No, why, do you want a rematch on Galra fighter?  
K: I swear I will beat you one of these nights.  
L: You can’t beat me, I’m the tailor, you know, because of how I thread the needle.  
K: I thought we talked about you not calling yourself that anymore.  
L: Hmm, nope, no, don’t remember, didn’t happen.

“Where the hell is Keith, we have a truck to unload.” I could hear my boss below asking for me.

K: Gotta go, ttly?  
L: You know it.

I made my way back down to the unloading dock, where everyone was standing around waiting for me. My boss Zarkon walked up to me with a pretty serious look on his face.

“Keith bud, listen, this isn’t going to be easy to say, but some of the staff are uncomfortable around you, they say you scare them, they say they're always having to pull your weight.” That was total garbage, it should be the other way around. “ I’m sorry Keith, but I’m going to have to let you go.”

I knew this was coming, just like every other job I had ever had. Someone always finds a way to push me to my limits and I get fired. Which was the main reason for my answer. “Thank you for the opportunity, sir.” I had gone off on enough of my old bosses to know it wasn’t going to make me feel better.

I grabbed my things and headed out. The bus wouldn’t be here for at least an hour, so I decided to head on over to the tap house.

“Will you calm down, you’re freaking out worse than I did.” I was trying to calm my brother down as I walked along the busy sidewalk.

Shiro’s voice was loud and a bit high pitched, “I WILL GO HAVE A WORD WITH HIM, HE WILL FEEL MY WRATH!”

There was no winning this argument, so I did the only thing I could think. “Well I’m heading to the tap house right now, I think I might start drinking a bit early today.”

“KEITH, wait, I will come to pick you up, it’s only noon for crying out loud.”

“I knew I could count on you bro.”

“Yeah, yeah, just don’t drink anything, it’s too early for that shit.”

I hung up the phone and waited for Shiro to pick me up. As I sat on the sidewalk, my anxiety began to set in, my palms started getting sweaty, my mind racing through every bad thing that had ever happened, I was so unaware of my surroundings, I hadn’t even realized Shiro was standing right in front of me.

“You okay?” He asked, sitting next to me on the curb.

I shifted myself around so I could lay my head on his massive shoulder. “Yeah, just had a bit of a rough day,” I answered. “I’m sorry I lost another job, I promise I’ll try harder at the next one.”

I could feel Shiro’s arm wrap around me, pulling me closer into a hug. “It’s not your fault Keith, don’t be so quick to blame yourself for everything.”

“I… I’m sorry, can we just go home?” I grabbed my things and headed towards the car.

The ride home was silent, aside from the radio playing quietly in the background. The fresh summer air caressed my face as it blew in through the open window. ‘What the hell am I gonna do now? I have nothing again, why can’t I just be normal? Why must I always start fights? Why can’t I…’

“Keith, you sure your okay?” Shiro snapped me back to reality.

My body froze, I now realized I was picking at the skin on the side of my thumb again and it was bleeding. I immediately stuck my thumb in my mouth trying to hide the blood from him.

“I’m… I’m fine, I swear.”

“Don’t think I didn’t see that,” He scolded, his gaze lowering to the thumb in my mouth. “I know I saw blood, I told you to stop doing that…”

“I KNOW…” I yelled so loud the car next to us probably heard. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to… I didn’t mean to yell, I just, I’m trying, but I don’t even notice when I’m doing it until it’s too late, and I have such a hard time controlling my emotions, I… I’m sorry.” I could feel the warmth of the tear that was now rolling down my cheek. I yelled at my brother, and all he was doing was trying to help. “What’s wrong with me?” I mumbled.

“There is nothing wrong with you, don’t you ever say that again,” Shiro demanded, “You are an amazing person, friendly and kind, it’s not your fault if people only choose to see the bad in someone.”

“I can’t even control my anger with you, I just yelled at you for no reason, don’t lie to yourself you know I’m just a bu…”

“Enough Keith!” He slammed on the breaks, sending me flying forward, and pulled off to the side. He sighed, looking over at me, “You can’t believe a single word out of their mouths, they have no say in your life anymore, from now on you only listen to me.”

I could hear the pain in his voice, the anger he was choking back trying not to yell. It only made me feel worse, my heart was pounding, my mouth dry, I just wanted to curl up into a little ball and cease to exist.

“Got it?” His voice had deepened. I nodded and without another word, we began our journey home once more.

Finally, we pulled into the driveway, I was the first to pop my door and get out, practically running away from the car. I reached the door and fumble for my keys, ‘I just need to go straight to my room, no contact, I can’t take another fight with Shiro.’

I got the door open and rushed inside, making my way through the living room and down the hall. I could hear someone yelling my name, but I couldn’t stop, my legs just kept moving until I reached my bedroom door.

The darkness was inviting, the only light was from the sun spilling in through the window and even that was shaded. ‘That’s it, this was all I needed to calm down, I just need some peace for a moment.’

There was a knock at the door followed by a familiar voice, “Keith, buddy, you in there?” Lance asked.

No, this was the last person I wanted to talk to, I can’t hold a conversation with him right now, not in the state I’m in. I scrambled back to the door practically throwing myself up against it with a thud.

“Keith, come on, let me in please,” He grunted trying to push the door open. “Will you just move your ass so I can talk to you?”

I couldn’t face him, not right now, “I can’t, right now, just please give me some time.”

“Fine, but I’m waiting out here until you open the door.” I heard the thud followed by his back sliding down the door, man, he was always so stubborn.

I couldn’t seem to focus, my vision getting a bit blurry, my stomach beginning to churn. I knew I was about to throw up, it happened almost every time I got this way. I opened the door, forgetting about Lance, and ended up face first on the floor, Lance instantly trying to help me up even though I tripped over him. I scrambled to my feet, still feeling the need to vomit.

“Keith, buddy, where are you going? What’s wrong?” Lance followed me all the way to the bathroom, asking questions the entire way.

The second I knelt down next to the toilet, it was like Lance knew what was going on, he had seen me in this state many times throughout our friendship. He grabbed a fistful of my hair in one hand and pulled my bangs out of my face with the other. I hated having him see me like this, I hated that he was holding my hair back for me and could see everything, like how vulnerable I was, or how weak I could be. No one ever wants to be seen this way, but it was a normal thing for me and Lance, and I hated it.

“It’s gonna be alright… that place was shit anyways.” Lance was trying to break the awkward silence that had come once I was finally finished. “Just think, you don’t have to work with dick head Rolo anymore.”

The noise I made was a mix between a laugh and a wheeze, it was weird. Our eyes met only for a second before he looked away, I’m pretty sure I could see the tops of his ears turn a crimson red.

He held out the cloth he was getting wet, “H-here, for your forehead. I’m going to go wait for you in the living room, I’ve got a surprise for you.” With that, the Cuban boy was gone.

I washed my face and brushed my teeth before I snuck back to my room to change my shirt. I hadn’t realized I was still in my work clothes, so I slipped on my favorite red hoodie and a pair of black basketball shorts.

The living room was a bit dark considering it was two in the afternoon. The shades had been pulled shut and the lights were all shut off. I could just barely make out the outline of a blob on the couch. It was Lance curled up in a blanket, his favorite lion slippers popping out at the bottom.

“Why is it so dark in here?” I asked, eyes still trying to adjust.

“Okay, I know you wanted to beat me at Galra Fighter, but I just bought this new game called Monsters and Mana and I really want to play it with you.” Lance was using his puppy dog eyes, the ones he gets when he needs or wants something.

“Alright, I’ll try it out with you,” I was finally starting to feel normal again. My one release from the stresses of my life was playing video games with Lance, He always got so into these games we played, hence the nickname “The Tailor” from the Galra Fighter flight simulator game.

“You will, really?” The smile on his face was all I needed to head over and sit on the couch next to him. “You want in.” I looked over at him with a confused face, until I saw him holding his blanket open. “Come on, it’s so warm.”

I somehow moved over, so I was closer to him, thank god it was dark and he couldn’t see how red my face was. The blanket was definitely warm, but I was more concerned with the tall, blue-eyed, boy, sitting inches away from him, in what looked like a tank top and boxers.

‘Shit, I looked at his boxers, oh god I did it again. Why am I such a disaster? What is wrong with me?’ I was lost deep in thought, apparently unable to hear anything going on around me.

“Yo space cadet, pay attention.”

I finally snapped back to reality, “O-oh, sorry, what were you saying?”

Lance groaned, “Man you didn’t hear a thing I said, did you?”

“No, I’m sorry. I promise I’m listening to you this time.” 

He sighed, “Okay, to play, you have to pick a character, whether it be a Paladin, monk, ect., and then we have to try and defeat the bad guys.”

“Okay,” I riffled through the characters until I landed on this weird purple cat looking guy. “I guess I will be a Galra then?” I was confused but the character looked cool, so Galra it was.

“Okay, was that a question, anyways, now you just pick a name, I picked ninja assassin and my name is Pike, oh and I took the liberty of naming our team Voltron.” 

“Voltron?”

“Just pick a name.”

I couldn’t think of anything, I didn’t know I was going to have to come up with a stupid name for this damn game. I thought for a minute before typing it into the name bar.

*Pfft* “Thunderstorm Darkness, what the hell kind of name is that?”

“Shut up, you know I’m not good at picking names.”

“I know but, *pfft* Thunderstorm Darkness?”

After lance had his fun laughing at the name I picked, we were finally able to start the game. It was a role play based game, so we pretty much just started out fighting the weak monsters before heading on to the bigger guys.

“Oh, I almost forgot, Shiro said it was okay.” He got up from the couch, leaving me sitting under his blanket while he disappeared into the kitchen. His blanket smelled just like him, a mix of ocean breeze and the cinnamon buns from this morning, how he still smelled like them, I’ll never know. I buried my face into it, just for a second, inhaling the intoxicating aroma. “Okay Keith, you ready for this?” He held up a bottle of Jack and a twelve pack of coke.

“Hell yeah!” I was so ready to drown my day in alcohol.

The rest of the night consisted of the two of us getting wasted and playing this strange new video game.


	2. Take it Easy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance starts to get worried about Keith's mental state.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone, this chapter is starting from Lance's POV, it will most likely only be switching between the two of them, I will let you know if I bring anyone else's POV into play.

My head was pounding, the light blinding me as I tried to open my eyes. ‘What time is it anyway?’ I thought as I rolled over to check my phone. ‘Damn looks like I missed my morning workout and breakfast. Hunk was even going to make something new this morning,’ I pouted.

I got out of bed and threw on my favorite blue tank and a pair of white sweatpants, before lazily making my way out of my room.

I stopped at the bathroom on my way to the kitchen to find some ibuprofen for this splitting headache. I rummaged through the drawers, but of course, no one knew how to put anything away so the ibuprofen wasn’t in the medicine drawer. I finally found it in my hair products drawer, which was just not even close to right.

I heard footsteps coming from the hallway and looked up just in time to see Keith stumbling down the hall holding his head and groaning.

“Lance, please tell me you found the ibuprofen?” He groaned.

“Of course, no thanks to whoever put it away.” I took two from the bottle and handed it to him. “So do you feel any better?”

“Well, I haven’t even taken them yet, so not really.”

God, he was so dumb sometimes. “No, I meant about your… you know what nevermind.” Talking to him was like talking to a wall.

We both headed to the kitchen, hoping to find anything we could scarf down. I looked in the fridge while he scoured the cabinets until I found a container with a note on it. It read,   
‘for the two drunks sleeping through breakfast.’

“Well, at least Hunk was thinking of us, right?” Keith said with a smile.

I finished my food first, It was weird but delicious, and headed over to the sink to clean off my plate. “Wait, I can clean the dishes, just leave it in the sink,” Keith said pushing his chair out.

“It’s fine, I got it.”

“No, you go get ready for work, it’s not like I have anything better to do.” He practically pushed me out of the kitchen.

I made my way back to my room and started to get my things ready for work. I worked at the Castle of Lions, don’t ask me why it was named that, with my boss Coran and his niece Allura, they were extremely nice people, and Allura was definitely easy on the eyes. I pulled on my ripped jeans and my blue t-shirt that said ‘In memory of when I cared’, before packing my things into my backpack.

I headed back out to the living room. I could hear the sound of the washing machine going downstairs, so I decided to head down and check it out before I left for work.  
Pidge was sitting on the washing machine, messy hair pulled back into a short ponytail, cleaning her glasses with her sleeve, while Keith folded laundry next to her.

“Ooh good timing Lance, Keith is doing laundry so bring yours down,” She said with a smirk.

“Pidge! You can’t just take advantage of your roommates, besides I don’t think Keith wants to do my, or your laundry.”

“I really don’t mind, send it down when you get the chance and I’ll bring it back up when I’m done,” Keith chimed in.

“Are you sure?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

He chuckled softly, “Yes Lance.”

I was skeptical, I felt like I was taking advantage of him for some reason. 

The gremlin was hot on my tail following me up the stairs and into my room. “What do you want Pidge?” I asked.

“I’m bored, and Keith is just cleaning, I need something to do.” She sighed.

I looked over at her with a smirk on my face. “Why don’t you help Keith clean instead of watching him?”

“Not gonna happen, you know I despise cleaning, I mean have you seen my room lately?”

“No, and I’m not sure I want to.” I was horrified to even walk past her room sometimes, let alone go in it.

“Probably for the best,” She said adjusting her glasses. “Anywho, are you working tonight?”

I ignored her, she knew the answer, and if I did answer it would probably be a trap or something.

“I will take your silence as a yes, I need to stop by on my break tonight, I will be starving and thirsty so if you would be the best roommate ever and have something ready for me when I get there, I will be forever grateful.” She was sucking up to me with her take on the puppy dog eyes, but it was more of an evil serial killer look coming from her.

“I’ll do whatever you want, as long as you never make that face again.”

“Deal, bye,” She said walking out.

I gathered all of my dirty clothes from the floor and placed them in my basket. I walked to the top of the stairs and stopped. ‘Wait, why am I doing this, I mean I know he said it was alright, but I still don’t want to take advantage of him. Is it taking advantage of him? Is doing laundry for your roommate being taken advantage of?’ While I was lost in thought I hadn’t noticed Keith coming up the stairs.

“Everything okay Lance?” He asked pulling me out of my thoughts.

“Y-yeah, fine, just bringing this downstairs.” I stuttered.

“Perfect, I can take them, I’ll throw them in the next load and they’ll be done before you get home from work tonight.” He seemed different like something just wasn’t right.

I handed him my basket and headed for the door. I couldn’t stop thinking about Keith on my way to work. ‘What the hell is going on with him? Why does he seem so different all of a sudden? Usually, when he gets fired, he’s either pissed off or moping around the house, but today he was hungover and doing chores.’ It finally dawned on me, he had a smile on his face, but it was shrouded in sadness. Keith was trying to hide his pain, but why.

Work was the same as always, me flirting with Allura while she shot me down, it had become our dynamic and I was used to it. It was the dinner rush and I was sending out drinks faster than I could make them. Allura squeezing passed me every once in a while to bring food out to the bar patrons.

I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. “Hey Allura, I gotta take this, be back in five.” I held my phone up as I ran out the back.

It was Pidge, damn I had almost forgotten about her food order. “Hey Pidge, I’m getting in your order now,” I answered.

“Sweet, but can you make it double, I’m meeting with an old friend from the Garrison.” She said.

“Um, yeah, I don’t see why not.”

“Cool, see you in twenty.” She hung up before I could say bye.

“Sometimes that gremlin can be so rude,” I mumbled to myself before heading to the kitchen. “Hey Coran, I need two ultimate burger baskets, I guess Pidge is bringing a friend tonight, I hope she’s cute.”

“Young paladin, you need to focus on something other than looks, like maybe a brain, or a good personality, those girls you usually hang around are good for nothing, and one of them is going to go full crazy batso on you one of these days,” Coran said from behind the serving rack.

I laughed, “I think I can handle it, it’s not like they’re going to kidnap me or something.”

Coran scrunched up the skin between his brows narrowing his eyes, “Whatever you say.”

Pidge came in about twenty minutes later with a guy, which was super unlike her to even be with anyone other than Hunk and Keith, but especially weird for it to be a guy. I decided I had to find out who this guy was, so I told Allura I would deliver the food to her.

I dodged my way through the bar and up to their table. “Here’s your food, Pidge.”

“Where’s Allura, I only take food from her, how do I know you didn’t poison it?” She demanded.

“You know why I’m here,” I said turning my attention to the fair-skinned man with the bright green eyes and light blue hair. “Hi, I’m Lance, nice to meet you” I offered him my hand.

He grabbed it and we shook, “Berkley, but everyone calls me Beezer.”

“Why Beezer?”

“Well, the guys at the Garrison called me that because I was the robot building master, at least I hope that was why,” he said scratching his head.

“Go away Lance,” Pidge sneered.

“Alright, alright, if you need anything else don’t hesitate to ask,” I said smirking at her.

She proceeded to throw her shoe at me, in an angry fashion, as I ran away laughing.

“You should stay out of her business more often, she’s going to actually kick your ass one of these days,” Allura reminded me. 

“But I have to keep an eye on her I promised Sam and Matt I would keep her safe,” I picked up a glass and proceeded to clean it. “Besides the guy seems harmless, he’s even a tech nerd just like her… oh my god, they’re perfect for each other.”

“Lance, leave it alone, let them decide on their own.” She stressed.

I sunk my gaze to the glass in my hand, “I’m sorry, you’re right.”

The rest of the night went by quickly, it was our busiest day of the week after all. Allura had just finished mopping and I was just finishing up with the dishes in the back.

“You may head home now young paladin, Allura and I will finish closing,” Coran said from behind the stove. “Just gotta finish cleaning out this grease trap.”

“Alright, thanks Coran.” I turned to Allura, “See you tomorrow then?”

“Of course.” She replied.

I hopped on my motorcycle, her name is blue, and headed back to the house. Maybe Keith and I could play some more Monsters and Mana, ooh maybe Hunk, Shiro, and Pidge would join in. Wait, probably not Pidge, she seemed pretty into that Beezer guy. The wind felt good on my sweaty skin, sending chills down my spine as blue made her way through the dark city streets.

The house was dark, the only light was a soft blue glow coming through the living room window. The crickets chirped away as I walked up the pathway to the front door. I took in one last deep breath of the warm summer air before jiggling my keys in the door.

Shiro was sitting in the armchair watching Garfle Warfle Snick, while Keith slept on the couch, his blanket was strewn across him carelessly.

“Hey Shiro,” I whispered walking over and sitting in the chair across from him. I looked over at Keith, his raven hair messily brushed across his face.

“Hey Lance, did you know he was cleaning today?” Shiro whispered back, pointing to the sleeping figure on the couch.

“Yeah, that’s weird right, I thought it was weird.”

Shiro looked at Keith, the inner corners of his eyebrows turning up, “It’s definitely weird, he worked himself so hard he threw up again, then passed out on the couch.”

“HE DID WHAT?” I yelled.

“Keep it down,” Shiro whispered loudly, putting his finger to his lips. They both looked over at Keith who was still out cold

“Sorry, I just, he can’t push himself like that, if I would have known he was going to go that far I would have stopped him before I left for work.” I got up from the chair at sat down in front of the couch. I ran my fingers across his forehead, lightly brushing the stray hairs back, causing him to let out a small grunt.

“I tried talking to him myself, but he just won’t listen to me, although, he might just listen to you.” Shiro was looking at me funny and it was giving me an odd feeling in the pit of my stomach.

“What do you mean by that?”

“I… uh, just meant that you’re, you know… his best friend, and umm… he seems to listen to you better than me.” Shiro was being super weird, but I guess he made a point with his ramblings, Keith did seem to listen to me better when he wasn’t shutting me out that is.

I looked back down to Keith’s expressionless face, his lips just barely parted. I ran my fingers through his hair, “Hey Mullet, it’s time to go to bed.”

“I am in bed,” He muttered, eyes still closed.

“I’m pretty sure this is the living room, come on I’ll help you.” I grabbed his arm and helped him to a standing position. He was a bit reluctant at first, but I just kept pulling until his feet were moving alongside mine.

I laid Keith in his bed, covering him with his favorite fluffy hippo blanket. As I turned around to walk out I felt his hand grab my wrist.

“You know you don’t have to take care of me all the time.” His voice was soft, with a bit of sadness clouding it. “I hate being a bur…”

“I thought I told you not to call yourself that.” It bothered me so much when he said that word. I wish I could find out why he thinks that way, but every time I ask him about it he shuts down.

“But I am, I can’t hold down a job, I’m horrible at housework, I can’t even fall asleep in the right place. I bring nothing to this household, only my attitude and I can’t even keep that under wraps.” He covered his face with his hands, I could hear the stutter in his breath.

I placed my hand on his pulling it away from his face. “Listen to me Mullet, you might be having a rough time right now, but you can’t push yourself so hard. Shiro told me you threw up again today, were you overworking yourself, or was it your anxiety again?”

He sighed, “Umm, a little bit of both I guess. I just feel like I have to keep moving, or my anxiety catches up with me, I start thinking about everything, and I mean everything, and I just can’t pull myself back out, I feel like I’m drowning in my own thoughts.” His breathing was becoming erratic.

“You know talking about it might help?”

“I… I just can’t do that, not yet, I’m sorry, I’ve already said too much.” He rolled over, pulling his hand from mine. “Goodnight Lance.”

“Yeah, night buddy.” This was exactly what I was afraid of, he shut me out again.

I walked out and closed the door, I wanted to cry, I hated seeing him like that, but at least it was better than what I saw earlier, Keith cleaning and being oddly happy was just too weird for me. I made my way past the living room, which was now dark and empty, and down the hall to my own room, flopping myself onto my bed. I stared up at the little plastic glow in the dark stars, my eyes immediately darting to the two Keith had stuck there when I first moved in. He had colored over them with red and blue markers, telling me they were our friendship stars.

“I swear to you Keith, I will never give up on you,” I said closing my eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you guys like my story, don't forget to leave me a kudos, and also drop a comment if you want.


	3. The night out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith and Pidge want to get out of the house so Hunk can have dinner with Shay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith's POV

It had been a week since I had lost my job. I had been applying for places, but as usual, I hadn’t heard back from any of them. I was starting to get a bit discouraged. I was starting to feel like nothing was going to work out.

I laid on the couch staring at the ceiling fan spinning above my head. I heard the door handle jiggle and the door swing open. Hunk walked in carrying about ten grocery bags. I jumped up to help him, taking half the bags into my hands.

“What’s with all the groceries?” I asked.

“Well, here’s the thing, Shay is coming over tonight, and I told her I would make her dinner, but I just don’t know what I want to make her, so I just bought all the ingredients to make ten different meals and thought I would figure it out at home, but now I’m home and I’m freaking out because I still haven’t figured it out and…”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, calm down Hunk, why don’t I help you figure it out,” I offered following behind him to the kitchen.

He stopped at the counter setting the bags down. “Umm… yeah, t-that could work, that could totally work.” He spun around grabbing me by the shoulders, not gonna lie I thought he was going to kiss me for a second. “Keith, you have to help me.”

“O-of course, I might not be of much help with the cooking part, but I could help you choose, and maybe set the table?” I was telling the truth, cooking was my one weakness. 

“Whatever you can do will help.” He looked a bit relieved

Hunk pulled out all of the ingredients placing them in meal groups. “Okay, so here we have Palusami, chicken and shrimp pasta, lemon butter salmon, rack of lamb…” He rambled on naming and pointing to each dish, he really had picked out ten different meals.

Oh how I wished Lance was here, he would know exactly what to do, and he would be able to help Hunk cook, but it wasn’t time to think about that, I promised I would help. “Well, let’s start with you’re favorites, are any of them your top picks?”

“Well, I really like the rack of lamb, oh, and the Palusami, and I can’t forget the pork laulau.” He was counting on his fingers as he listed them off.

“Alright, we have something to go on.” I thought for a minute, not quite sure where I was going with this. “If… what, no, which dish means the most to you? Which dish would make you the happiest to have her enjoy?” I still had no clue what I was saying.

Hunk sat there staring at the three meals in front of him. ‘God that was dumb, why am I even helping I don’t know the first thing about food, I’m such an idiot, why do I even try, all I did was ramble.

“I think the pork laulau means the most.” I jumped, forgetting for a moment that I was in the kitchen with Hunk. “My uncle Filo used to make it for me all the time before I moved in with you guys, so it’s kind of a family recipe,” He sighed, “I think I’m going to go with that one, thanks, Keith.”

The heavy feeling in my chest lifted, did he just thank me? I pulled myself together and started pulling out the fancy dishware and laying out a tablecloth. I placed everything neatly on the table, only setting it for two people. Hunk was too much of a chicken to tell her his feelings, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t help push it along.

Just as I was finishing Pidge was walking into the kitchen, wearing her usual green sweatshirt and black cropped leggings. I looked at her with a smirk on my face, winking my left eye.

“Hey Pidge, I almost forgot that thing we had, to do, tonight, remember?” I jolted my head in the direction of Hunk, then to the table set for two behind me.

She looked confused for a second as her eyes followed my path. “Oh yeah, I remember the thing, we should probably get going if we want to make it there on time.”

“Wait, you guys are leaving me? Keith, you said you’d help,” He cried.

“I did,” I snickered walking out of the kitchen.

Pidge caught up with me in the hallway, “So what are we really doing?” She asked with excitement.

“Well, I hadn’t really thought about that, I’ll probably just go walk around town for a while.” It sounded like a good idea.

“Lame, you’re coming with me to the castle of lions, Lance made up a new drink and called it the red lion, it’s got some kind of cinnamon liqueur, ooh, and a twizzler sticking out of it like a straw or a lions tail, and it’s bright red.”

I didn’t really want to go up there tonight, there was going to be so many people there and I didn’t really care for large crowds.

“I’m pretty sure Lance wore those tight black ripped jeans tonight.” She did that wiggly eyebrow thing that Lance always does.

“Fine,” I mumbled angrily.

I went to my room to change, Pidge had mentioned something about the red t-shirt with the v-neck and intentional rips, and my pair of tight white jeans. I pulled them out along with my red hoodie because I hated showing skin.

I was pulling my pants up when I caught a glimpse of the scars on my inner thighs. I ran my fingers across them before shaking my head and continuing to pull my pants up. I couldn’t go back to that, I promised myself I would stop.

There was a knock at my door, Pidge walking in before I could speak. “You ready to go… I thought we were going with the red v-neck,” She scolded.

“You know I don’t like showing skin.” I retaliated.

“Then why did you even buy the damn thing?”

“I don’t know, can we just go?” She shrugged and we headed out.

The bar was packed, which was typical for a Friday night. Pidge and I pushed and shoved our way to the bar. Allura was running back and forth from the kitchen to the tables, while Lance was filling shot after shot, drink after drink. He finally spotted the two of us and finished up the drink he was making.

“Hey guys, what are you doing here tonight of all nights?” He said making his way over to us.

“Well, Shay was over for dinner, so you know what that means, and somehow I got Keith to leave his emo space to come celebrate with me, so I’m taking advantage of that.”

“Wait, did you say celebrate?” Lance and I chimed in unison.

She sighed heavily, “Yes, Beezer asked me out last night, he said he’s had a crush on me since the Garrison.” Her eyes seemed to sparkle with excitement.

“Well, alright Pidge, a round of drinks on me,” Lance smiled.

“Ooh, make us those new lion drinks of yours.”

“Two red lions coming up!” He sang.

Pidge pulled me aside while we waited for Lance to come back with our drinks. “Keith, we have to dance, I mean I don’t usually dance, but I just need to let loose tonight, ya know?” She smiled as she grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the dance floor.

I pulled away, “No, you know I can’t dance.”

“Okay, then I’ll just have to bring out drunk Keith,” She snickered.

I had a bad feeling about her creepy smile, but after the first drink, I started to loosen up. The next thing I knew I was out on the dance floor, shaking I don’t even know what. 

Pidge was dancing alongside me, hands waving through the air while her feet did some weird kicking motion.

“Keef, we soooooo need to do this more ofen,” She slurred.

“YES! We totally should.” I was slowly losing my filter.

About three hours had passed, also about five red lions each. I knew I needed to slow down, it was getting out of hand again. I pulled Pidge out to the patio, who was already half in the bag herself. I needed fresh air. I needed the cool breeze blowing through my hoodie. It wasn’t enough, I was so hot, I just needed to take my sweatshirt off for a minute. I struggled to pull my hoodie off while Pidge laughed at me, practically falling over herself.

“You need some help with that Mullet?” That sweet voice was just what I wanted to hear.

“Sure baby, do you wanna take anything else off while you’re at it?” What the hell did I just say, oh no I lost my filter, what happens next is never good.

Pidge snorted while she stumbled over to an open chair, “Keith’s druunk, HA!” She slurred.

“Shut it gremlin!” Yep, I was definitely drunk, I knew I should have stopped after the third drink.

“It sounds like both of you are drunk,” He sighed.

I couldn’t stop staring at him, with those deep blue eyes, like oceans, I just wanted to get lost in them forever.

“Alright, Keith it’s… time to… go, why are you staring at me like that?” The confused look on his face was so cute.

My whole body was hot from the bottom of my feet to the tips of my ears. My vision was blurring and my knees began to buckle. I was falling, and I was falling hard, the entirety of my weight crashing down to the earth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry to leave Y'all on a cliffhanger, but if you like this chapter leave a few words in the comments, or just let me know what I can improve on.


	4. Night out part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance has to bring the drunks home, but things just don't go the way he was expecting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lances POV

“Alright, Keith it’s… time to… go, why are you staring at me like that?” Keith was staring at me, but in like a weird lovingly way, and it was starting to get a bit uncomfortable. The next thing I knew Keith was falling, I don’t really know what happened in those couple of seconds, but his whole weight came crashing into me almost knocking me over.

“Bahahaha, Keith amos knocked you overrr.”

“Pidge, shut up unless you’re going to help me,” I said as I pulled Keith over to an open chair.

“Thas not gon happen, you might wanna call Sh-Shiro, Keith’s too fat for me to carry.”

“I’m not fat you gremlin,” He snapped. He looked up at me with those deep amethyst eyes before placing his hands on my face. “You are the most beautiful person in the world.”  
I could feel the heat rising in my face. Why did I blush? Why were Keith’s hands so much warmer? Why hadn’t I pulled away by now?

“Please don’t ever leave me,” He mumbled, letting his hands fall to his side. “Everyone always leaves me.”

I could hear the hurt in his voice, that deep pain I only ever heard a few times. “I’m never going to leave you, Keith, I promise.”

I heard Pidge get up from her seat behind me, “Hey, where the hell do you think you’re going?”

“I’m jus gon go see Allura,” She mumbled as she stumbled away into the bar.

I wanted to stop her, but I couldn’t just leave Keith like this, he could barely even stand, let alone be left out here by himself. I let her wander off while I fished my phone from my pocket. As I began to scroll through my contacts, looking for Shiro’s name, I heard Keith mumble something.

“What?”

“Please don’t call Shiro, he’s gonna be so mad at me if he finds out I got this drunk.” When I looked up from my phone Keith was staring at me, brows furrowed, bottom lip puffed out.

“Well, then what am I supposed to do?” I asked.

“I promise I’ll be good, I’ll stay out here and not bother anyone, and then you can bring me home when you’re done with work.” Why was I finding drunk Keith so cute, the way his hair fell messily into his face, the blush on his face actually giving him the slightest bit of color, the odd excitement in his voice was a drastic change from the sadness I had heard only moments before.

I sighed, “Fine, but I’m asking Coran if I can leave early, and we’re going straight home, I might as well bring the little gremlin with me too.”

“Really?” He perked up, eyes twinkling in the glow of the street lights.

“Yes, but you can’t leave this spot until I come back, got it?”

He shook his head with a smile, “Promise.”

I ran into the kitchen and asked Coran if I could leave, of course, he said yes, since it was almost closing time anyway. I grabbed my backpack from the office and headed back out to the bar to find Pidge. She had somehow made it to the bar and was bugging Allura with a bunch of questions.

“Alright Pidge, it’s time to head home, let’s go.” Allura mouthed the words thank you, as I pulled Pidge out to the patio.

Keith was in the same place I had left him, except his head was now laying on the table. I ran my fingers through his hair, waking him instantly. “C’mon Mullet, get up.” I grabbed his hand and helped him to his feet. Trying to get two drunk people through a bar and out into the parking lot sounded a lot easier in my head than it actually was. Keith could barely walk, while Pidge kept trying to run off. When we finally made it to the car Pidge ran ahead, literally jumping through the open passenger window, while I struggled to keep Keith on his feet.

Somehow I hadn’t noticed Keith slip out of hold until his hand was pulling mine, spinning me around. “Why did you stop, we’re almost to the car?” I asked trying to pull him along.

“Lance, please don’t hate me.” His gaze left mine, dropping to the ground.

“What are you talking ab…” His lips were suddenly pressed against mine. I didn’t know what to do, my body froze in that instant. His lips were so soft, softer than any I had ever felt. They were so warm pressed there ever so gently.

The warmth disappeared as Keith dropped into my arms, eyes closed. I looked around the parking lot to see if anyone had noticed, but there was no one except me and Keith. I picked him up and carried him to the car laying him on his side in the backseat.

The drive home was silent, Pidge had passed out before we even made it out of the parking lot, leaving me to my thoughts, which were dangerous right now. Why had Keith kissed me? Did he kiss me, or did he just fall into me? Why can’t I stop thinking about it?

I ended up finding Hunk watching TV on the couch in the living room, so I enlisted his help in carrying the drunks to bed.

“Dammit, I should have taken Pidge, she would have been a lot easier to carry, also a lot lighter,” I whined.

“Sorry buddy, no switchies,” Hunk said throwing Pidge over his shoulder and disappeared into the house.

I fought Keith’s dead weight all the way through the house and into his room. It had been a while since Keith let me in here, so any chance I got was nice. I flopped him down on his bed, trying to pull his heavy black work boots off when I heard a voice.

“Don’t, please stop, stop, I SAID STOP!” Keith was now pushing on my shoulders, all strength, gone with his drunkenness.

“Keith, buddy, it’s me, it’s Lance,” I reminded.

He continued to struggle, continued pushing me away muttering things. “No James, I said stop, please just leave me alone.”

“Who the hell is James? Keith will you just calm down and…” I pushed him flat on the bed, my body hovering just inches above his. I could now clearly see the tears staining his cheeks as they streamed down his face in the moonlight. 

“Please, just let me go, please don’t hurt me.”

I loosened my grip on his wrists, taking a few steps back. “Keith, I would never hurt you, why would you even say that?” My body was shaking as I watched my best friend curl up into a ball on his bed, placing his hands over his face.

“I don’t want you to hurt me again, just leave me alone,” He cried.

“Keith, I…” I stopped, I couldn’t get through to him, he was so drunk he thought I was someone else. So I did the only thing I could at that point, I walked away.

I made my way to my room, fighting back my own tears as I threw myself onto my bed face first. Why the hell did he call me James? Who is James? Why was he so afraid? I couldn’t sleep the rest of the night. All I wanted to do was go check on him to make sure he was okay, but with the way he pushed me away, I thought it best to let him sleep it off.

The next morning Shiro, Hunk, and Pidge were in the kitchen prepping breakfast when I walked in.

“Whoa, Lance, you okay buddy?” Shiro asked concerned.

I yawned, trying to rub the sleepiness away, “Fine, just couldn’t sleep well last night.” I wanted to talk to Shiro, but I wasn’t sure he even knew who this James was, or if he was even a real person, so I didn’t bring it up.

“Well I slept like a baby last night.” Pidge pointed to herself with her thumb, smiling from ear to ear.

“I bet you did with all that alcohol in your system,” I joked.

“Wait, what alcohol?” Shiro asked as he mixed whatever Hunk had just handed him.

I looked her directly in the eyes as I said, “She got wasted at the castle of lions last night.”

“Wait, I thought you had some “thing” you had to go to?” Hunk made the little air quotes with his hands.

“Thanks a lot, Lance, now they’re both going to scold me.”

Shiro and Hunk both turned their attention to her, Shiro being the first to speak, “Pidge, what were you thinking, I thought we agreed you weren’t going to drink anymore.”

“I was celebrating, he was in on it too.” She pointed to Keith, who had just walked through the entryway to the kitchen.

“Pidge, what the hell?” He cursed.

She put her hands up defensively, “Don’t look at me, Lance is the one that ratted us out.”

“Don’t blame your drinking problems on me,” I countered, waiting for both of them to blow up on me, but they were interrupted.

Shiro spun around on his heels, still mixing the food in his hands. “Keith, you of all people shouldn’t be drinking, you know you black out when you drink too much.”

He rubbed his temples, dark circles had formed under his eyes, I could still see the stains on his cheek, only bringing back the heaviness in my chest. “That would explain why I don’t remember coming home last night.”

“Wait, you don’t remember any of it?” I gasped.

“No, the last thing I remember was being crowded in the bar and needing some air, the rest is history.” He scratched the back of his head.

I couldn’t help but feel a bit hurt that he didn’t remember anything, but I guess I was also relieved to not have an awkward conversation with him this morning.

Shiro continued to scold Keith and Pidge throughout breakfast with his looks, which only caused them to scold me for ratting them out. I had to start a conversation, anything to stop the negativity that was shrouding the breakfast table.

“Um… so Hunk, how did your dinner go with Shay?” Everyone perked up when I asked that.

He smiled nervously, scratching the back of his head, “Well, I may or may not have… finally asked her out.”

“For real, that’s awesome dude.”

“Keith was a big help, the table was set perfectly, and the meal you helped me pick was a hit.” He pointed to Keith who was still trying to muster up the strength to take a bite.  
Keith looked up from his plate, a slight smile forming on his face. “I mean, I don’t know how much I helped, but I’m glad everything worked out.”

“You just don’t ever give yourself enough credit, oh and nice work making up a fake reason to leave, I’ll get you back for that.” Hunk assured.

“Well, you definitely wouldn’t have asked her out if Pidge and I would have been there.”

“Touché.”

I butted into the conversation, “Hey Hunk, what kind of pancake is this,” I said picking up a purple fluffy mass on my fork. “You know what, I decided I don’t want to know.”  
Keith snorted.

“What are you laughing at?” I grumbled.

“You’re just cu… dumb sometimes.” He blushed, which was weird, right?

“Uh, rude.” The corners of my mouth turned up slightly, “Besides, like your one to talk, Mr. Thunderstorm Darkness.”

Keith smirked back at me, “At least I didn’t pick Voltron.”

“Ugh… ugh… ugh.” I couldn’t really speak so I mainly just gestured from Keith to Shiro.

Shiro pushed his chair out, slamming his hands to the table, “That’s enough, both of you, can we just finish breakfast in peace?”

The rest of breakfast was pretty quiet, every once in a while I would glance over at Keith, but he never looked up. Shit, maybe he did remember things from last night, I don’t want to talk about it, maybe I can just pretend I don’t know what he’s talking about, yeah that could work.

Keith was the first to finish, throwing his plate in the sink and heading off to his room. Something wasn’t right, so I followed close behind him. I followed him to his room, sticking my hand through the door to stop it from closing. I slipped into Keith’s room, immediately face to face with those angry amethyst eyes.

“What are you doing in here, Lance?” He demanded, his fists balling up.

I put my hands up in surrender, “I just want to know what’s up, something’s off with you this morning.” ‘Please don’t remember, please don’t remember’

“It’s nothing,” He grumbled.

I crossed my arms, “It’s clearly something, you can’t get anything past me.”

He sat on his bed, gaze dropping to the floor. “Just let it go, Lance.”

“Why? Why do you continue to tell me to let things go?” I started to get heated, I’m tired of him always pushing things to the side, of him always suffering alone.

“Because you should let it go, it was nothing but a stupid nightmare anyway.” He covered his mouth, slowly looking up to meet my gaze. “I have already said too much, will you just leave already,” His eyes dropped back to the floor, “I just want to be alone today.”

“I’m not going anywhere until you tell me about it.” I sat on the bed next to him, I could feel the tension building up. I knew he was going to snap, but I was prepared.

“It… it was just a dream from school, stupid but messed up.” He didn’t blow up, he was actually being calm, he was talking to me about something even if it was vague.

I didn’t really know what to say, I had never gotten this far with him, he has never opened up about anything. I looked up at the ceiling, wait why had I never noticed this before. There on the ceiling were two glow in the dark stars colored red and blue just like the ones in my room. How long has he had those?

“Keith sometimes dreams mean more than you think, like telling you to move on, or outing your fears, maybe your dreams are trying to tell you something.” I couldn’t take my eyes off the stars as I talked. “Whatever happened in your dream, it’s over now and you should move on, don’t let it take over your life.”

Suddenly his head was on my shoulder, it was weird but felt oddly satisfying. “ Thanks, Lance, maybe I should start letting things go.” He cleared his throat and sat back up, “I need to get the hell out of this house, can we go do something, anything?”

“Dude, I’ve been waiting for you to say that this whole time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told y'all things would get dark, and this is only the tip of the iceberg. Also, I love James, but I'm so sorry to my James stans.


	5. Trip to the Arcade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance and Keith head to the arcade to blow off some steam, but Keith runs into someone from his past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith's POV

“Let’s go to the zoo, no, no, maybe the theme park down the road, oh, or maybe the food court at the mall…” Lance was listing off all the places he thought we should go, I wasn’t much for crowds, but if it got me out of the house I would do anything.

“What about the arcade, we haven’t been there in forever,” I interrupted, at least the arcade wasn’t too busy of a place.

His face lit up, a smile growing larger by the second. “YES! We have to go to the arcade Keith, I must play my game.”

“Then I guess we’re going to the arcade.”

Lance ran off to get ready, while I stayed behind to do the same. I threw on a pair of red sweatpants with a black stripe down each side, then pulled on my tight black tank top. I grabbed my wallet and my phone, along with my bag of change I had been saving up just for an occasion like this.

It was a beautiful day out, I was happy we had decided to walk, it was only a couple of blocks down after all. The glow of the afternoon sun was hot on my skin, the back of my neck was roasting with my hair being down. I pulled out a hair tie and pulled my hair up, sweet, sweet relief, the feeling of the light breeze blowing on my neck sending chills down my spine.

“So, how’s the castle of lions? Do you like working there?” I didn’t really know what to say, but the silence was starting to get to me.

“It’s good, I get to meet a lot of people, and I get to do cool flippy moves which are pretty fun…” He trailed off.

I turned to look at him, “Is something wrong?”

“Well, I was just really hoping I could find like, my soulmate, or wife, or whatever, but so far all I’ve gotten are crazies.”

Wife, that word stung, but what was I expecting. I pulled myself back together and continued, “Well, that’s because most of the g-girls that go to bars are the crazies.”

“Not all of them, I mean Allura’s not crazy, at least I don’t think so.”

“Yeah, but Pidge is, didn’t I hear she threw her shoe at you the other night?”

He crossed his arms, “Yes, she did and I was afraid for my life.”

We both laughed. The walk slipped back into silence, the sound of cars driving by on the street was the only thing cutting through the awkwardness. I looked down to the ground, what was going on, something was weird, something was really weird today.

“Did I do something last night?” I asked, breaking through the silence again.

“Wh-what do you mean, n-nothing happened last night,” He stuttered looking away.

“Are you sure, something just seems different today, you were all weird at breakfast, and then you chased me into my room to make me... feel better, and now you’re being way too quiet. Something’s up, McClain and I’m going to find out what it is.” His face was twisted like he was scared, or maybe nervous. “You gonna tell me?”

“Nope, no, because nothing happened, so we can drop this and move on to… talking about that cute dog over there.” He pointed to a tiny pomeranian across the street.

I mean it was cute, but why was he changing the subject, and to a random dog of all things, “Lance, why am I looking at this dog?”

“Just using it as a diversion.” 

I looked up to see Lance halfway down the block, “You little shit, GET BACK HERE!”

I chased him all the way to the arcade, tackling him when he stopped outside the doors. I laughed as I helped him to his feet, him grumbling the entire time. We brushed ourselves off and headed into the arcade.

We started with some racing games, me kicking his ass almost every race. It seemed like everything was finally going back to normal.

“Alright, alright, you got me on the racing games, but what about air hockey?” He got up and strolled over to the air hockey table.

I got up following close behind, “Damn, you know my one weakness.”

He laughed as he tossed me the paddle. “Well, I have to win something, you can’t take all the glory.”

“We’ll see about that.”

He was right, he won almost every game we played together. He was just so fast with his aiming I couldn’t keep up, I guess that’s why sharpshooter was his nickname whenever we were here. We played a good ten games before realizing there was now a line of people waiting to play, so we decided to let the others have a turn, that and Lance was kicking my ass.

“You know what time it is?” He asked looking at me with that goofy smile.

“Do we even still know how?”

“It’s just like riding a bike, how could we not.”

We ended up in front of the DDR game. It had been about two years since the last time I played this game, I was almost nervous to step up to it. I looked over to Lance, who looked almost as nervous as I was. He placed his coins along with mine into the slots and the game came to life.

It wanted us to pick the song, so naturally, we went with a song we were both very familiar with, Abyss. The song started out slow, gaining momentum the further we got. My feet were practically moving on their own, it was just like Lance had said, it was just like riding a bike, my body knew what to do before I did. 

It was starting to bring back memories of the first time I met Lance. It was right here in this very arcade, at this very game. We both wanted to play, but neither of us was willing to give it up, so we played for it. In the end, Lance beat me by one point, so I decided to leave, but Lance had a better idea. He liked playing with someone, but everyone he brought sucked, so he asked me if I would want to be his DDR partner. Of course, I said yes, he was cute and adorably stupid, so we started meeting every Saturday and Sunday to play. We could easily spend hours a day playing, Shiro usually calling me around eight every night, which was my cue to head home.

One day though, Lance didn’t show up, it was odd, so I called him to find out where he was. He told me his family was moving, even though he was against it, his mother had gotten a new job the next state over, so he had to. He didn’t want to leave, but he had nowhere else to go. I told him I would call him back, and in turn, called Shiro. I begged him to let Lance move in with us, we had an extra room after all, why not rent it out. Shiro finally caved and Lance moved in the next day.

“You ready for another one Mullet?” Lance was already putting the coins in the slots.

“You know which one to do, now that we’ve done our warm-ups.” I was getting cocky now.

Lance picked AAA and stepped back, “I hope you can keep up.”

I scoffed as the song started. Right, up, down, left, right, up, down, left, right, up, right, up, I didn’t even remember my feet could move this fast. I leaned back against the bar and glanced over at Lance. He was also leaned against the bar, intense stare as he concentrated on the game. I fell in love with him all over again, something about him just seemed to be stuck with me.

The song ended, both of us agreeing we needed a break after that one. We headed over to the nearest booth to catch our breaths, Lance sitting across from me.

“I gotta go to the bathroom, I’ll be right back.” Lance got up and headed off to the bathroom.

I balanced the weight of my head on my hand trying to relax a bit more, a dizzy feeling falling over me. I started looking around the arcade, taking in all of the lights and sounds. There were only two other groups of people there, I guess it was starting to get late. The first group was a bunch of kids, maybe twelve or thirteen, and the second group were more around my and Lance’s age. The more I looked at the older group, the more familiar one of the guys got. There was a girl with long blonde hair, a guy with long silver hair, and one that looked a lot like…

“James, cut it out,” The blonde one yelled.

“Oh come on Nyma, I just wanted to see it,” James said holding a small purple stuffed lion just out of her reach.

Dammit, I knew I recognized him, I had to go, I couldn’t let him see me, but what about Lance. I pulled my phone out of my back pocket and texted Lance to meet me out front, as I made my way out of the arcade.

“How long does it take this kid to pee?” I was pacing in front of the arcade waiting for Lance. The door opened and I whipped around to scold Lance, but It wasn’t him, it was the blonde girl. I ran into the alley next to the arcade, flattening myself against the wall. My breathing picked up the pace, alongside my heart rate. The sound of their voices started to fade, so I peeked around the corner to see where they were.

“Hey, Keith!” Lance was just coming out of the arcade, he practically yelled my name. I could see James spin around, but I was already pulling Lance into the alley with me.

“I know this is going to be hard for you, but I need you to be quiet.” I looked back around the corner, praying James wouldn’t be looking this way. I could just barely see them now. James had turned back around and was running to catch up with them.

“Why are we hiding?” Lance whispered causing me to jump.

“Sorry, I just… I saw someone from my past that I don’t really care to see.” I don’t know why I said that out loud, I should have just ignored it like I usually do.

“You gonna tell me their name, that’s all, just the name, I promise I won’t ask you any more questions about them.” He had put his hands together and had his bottom lip puffed out.

“Fine.” I took a deep breath, “His name is James.”

Lance was frozen, his puppy dog eyes turned into fear, his jaw had dropped almost to the floor, and his arms fell to dangle at his side.

“Are you okay?” I asked confused about the sudden change in attitude.

Lance shook his head, replacing the sad tone with what looked like a fake happy one. “I’m fine, just wish I could ask more questions now.”

“What, why now?” I was lost, how could a name change something, especially James… unless Shiro said something to him. “Lance, do you know something you’re not telling me?”

Lance looked away nervously, “Nope, I don’t know anything, can we go I’m getting tired.”

I nodded and we headed home. The further we got the more awkward the silence became. It was late and the street lights were the only source of light for our walk home. I wanted to break the silence, but Lance was just being so distant again. Shiro had to have said something to him, why else would that name trigger him, what does he know?

We finally made it back to the house, thank god, I could finally go be awkward alone. Lance practically ran to his room the second he got the door open. I walked in, casually throwing myself on the couch next to Shiro, as much as I wanted to be alone right now, I had to see if Shiro told Lance about James.

“Welcome home?” Shiro could see the tension on my face. “I take it something happened?”

“Did you tell Lance about James?” I just blurted it out, I actually made him jump.

“What, no, Keith I would never tell anyone, especially Lance, why did something happen tonight, did Lance ask about him?” Shiro was being his typical dad self, getting himself worked up.

“I’m sorry, he didn’t ask anything, he was just super off today, and then I saw James at the arcade, and when I was hiding Lance asked me why we were hiding, and I told him it was because of James, but when I said his name Lance kind of went silent and then it was a super awkward walk home, so I thought maybe you had said something to him…”

“Keith, calm down, did you just say you saw James at the arcade?”

“Yeah, I ran and hid in the alleyway when I saw him come out.”

“So, he’s back in Altea, huh, sounds like I get to take care of some unfinished business.” Shiro made a punching motion in the air.

I grabbed his wrist and pulled it back down to his lap. “Please don’t, it’s only going to make the situation worse, I’ll just avoid him and everything will be…”

“NO!” Shiro yelled making me jump. “You shouldn’t have to avoid him, for christ sakes he put you in the hospital.”

“I know… I know okay, but what else am I supposed to do?” I could feel the tears run down my cheeks. Aside from the nightmares, I hadn’t acknowledged that part of my past since I met Lance five years ago. “Please, just don’t do anything stupid, I need you more than revenge.” Shiro looked away. “Shiro, promise me.” 

He sighed, “Fine, but I think we should tell the others, just in case you run into him while you’re out.”

“NO! No, you can’t tell anyone... I’m not ready to relive that chapter of my life,” I fought.

He was trying to compress his anger, I could see it in the way he clenched his fists, “I don’t want you to relive it either, which is why I think we should tell the others. What if he sees you? What if he puts you in the hospital again, or worse.”

I placed my hand on his trying to calm him, but he pulled away. “Shiro, I won’t let him hurt me again, I’m not that weak high school kid anymore, I got this.”

“Fine, but I’m not promising I won’t kill him if he touches you again,” Shiro growled.

“Okay, and on that note, I’m going to bed.” I stood up and started to walk away.

“Just be careful Keith,” Shiro said softly.

“I’ll be fine, don’t worry yourself so much.” I looked back giving him a smile before heading to my room to pass out.


	6. Nightmares that come back to Haunt me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith's night terrors come back to haunt him, bringing two of his roommates to worry about his situation even more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith's POV

*The sound of the classroom bell rang and the small murmurs of the kids exiting the room filled the air. Sometimes it felt like they were trying to be loud enough for me to hear. Their words hurt, but not as much as the hurt I felt knowing they were right. ‘Keith should just drop out,’ ‘no one even wants him here,’ ‘even his parents didn’t want him around.’*

*Suddenly it was dark out, I was sitting on the front lawn outside the Griffin residence. James was sitting next to me, Our favorite song played in the background, as we stared up at the stars. His voice came through muffled, but I understood it all. ‘You’re just a burden, do you think Shiro wants to take care of you, you’re the reason your foster parents left.’ I looked up at him just in time to see him lunging at me. I could feel the sting of his punches, the cold hard cement on my face as it was bashed into the ground. I wanted it to end, I wanted to wake up...*

*’Get out of my room Keith, I’m done, you’re always ruining my relationships... just leave me alone, don’t talk to me.’ I was in Lance’s room, he was screaming at me, telling me to leave. I wanted to cry, but nothing came out. I wanted to tell him I loved him, but no words were made. I couldn’t do anything but drop to my knees as Lance stormed out of the room.*

*A voice began to cut through, It was familiar, and calming, ‘It’s okay Keith… it’s okay... you can wake up now.’*

I opened my eyes allowing them to adjust. Shiro was staring down at me, my head in his lap, his fingers rubbing my forehead. “You want to talk about it?” He asked.

“Not really,” I mumbled looking away.

He sighed, “Alright, I won’t pry.”

I lifted my head up out of his lap, “Don’t you dare tell the others about this.”

“Well then, I probably shouldn’t tell you I found Lance outside your door before I came in,” He said scratching the back of his head nervously. “He looked super worried, but thank god I stopped him, remember the last person that tried to wake you up?”

“Yeah, I punched hunk in the face, I felt horrible for months.” It was one of the worst feelings in the world, I hurt someone that was just trying to help, it was definitely a low for me.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have brought that up.” Shiro put his hand on my shoulder, “if you ever do want to talk about it, don’t hesitate to come find me.”

“Yeah, thanks.” I probably should have talked to him about it, I should have told him James was back in my nightmares, but I knew nothing good would come from it, I knew Shiro would only get angrier about the situation, so I couldn’t tell him, not yet.

After Shiro left I wasn’t really in the mood to go back to sleep, so I decided to get up and head to the living room. Maybe some TV will take my mind off of things. As I got closer to the living room I noticed the familiar blue glow spilling into the hallway. Lance was sitting on the couch, wrapped in his favorite blanket, playing video games.

“Can’t sleep?” I asked sitting next to him.

He paused his game sighing, “Not really… are you okay?”

I leaned back looking up at the ceiling, “I mean, I’m about as okay as I’ll ever be.” I looked over at Lance who was also leaning back looking up at the ceiling, “I’m sorry I woke you up.”

“You didn’t wake me up, I never really went to sleep.” I could see the bags under his eyes, it almost looked like he had been crying.

“Is something wrong, please tell me.”

“Why should I tell you, when you won't even tell me anything,” He sighed, “I'm sorry, I just... I heard your conversation with Shiro when we got back from the arcade. Why didn’t you tell me? Shiro said he put you in the hospital, and you weren’t going to tell us, but… ”

“Lance!” I yelled causing him to jump. “I’m sorry, okay, It happened a long time ago, and I don’t really like to talk about it. Please understand when I say it’s nothing, and I can handle this on my ow…”

“YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE TO!” Lance was now screaming, tears running down his face.

“Lance, quiet, you’re going to wake up the whole house.”

“I don’t care! Why won't you just talk about it, I want to help you, but you refuse to let me in. How am I supposed to help you, if I don’t even know what’s going on?” He was gripping his blanket tight.

Dammit, it was bad enough having Shiro constantly worrying about me, but now Lance. Why am I such a burden on everyone I meet? I have to do something, I can’t stand to see him like this.

“Listen, you don’t need to worry, you know how good I am at avoiding people, that and how do I even know if he lives here, maybe he was just visiting family or friends.” I was trying my hardest to reassure him, the last thing I wanted was to dump my baggage on him.

Things were silent for a minute, the games waiting screen song playing softly in the background, as I waited for just the tiniest bit of response.

“I can see you’re not going to tell me anything else, so I’m going to go to bed,” He grumbled standing up to let the blanket fall from his bare shoulders. I now realized Lance was wearing nothing but his boxers, and I could pretty much see everything. I turned away quickly, my face feeling as though it had started on fire.

“Lance, wait, I’m sorry, please don’t be mad, I just have to figure everything out before I bring others into my shit.” I wanted him to stay, but honestly, now knowing he wasn’t really wearing clothes, I really just wanted to go bury my face in my pillow.

“It’s whatever, do what you want Keith, you know where to find me if you change your mind.” And with that he was gone, leaving me alone in the living room listening to the same song playing over and over in the background.

I shut everything off and headed towards Shiro’s room, I was pretty sure he was still awake, he used to sit up for hours after I had a nightmare, always worrying about me and never himself. I was right, as I entered his room I caught him on the floor doing push-ups, just like old times. I walked in and sat on his bed, listening to him count out each rep.

“You change your mind?” He asked.

“Lance knows.”

He stopped, grabbing a towel to wipe his sweat, before sitting next to me on his bed. “How did he find out, did you tell him?”

“He heard us talking about it when we got back from the arcade,” I grumbled.

Shiro chuckled, “Well at least you explained everything to him, now I don’t have to worry as much, knowing Lance is with you.”

I twiddled my thumbs, unable to speak, my and Lance’s conversation playing through my head like a record on repeat.

“You didn’t tell him did you?” Shiro knew me too well, I guess that’s what happens when you live with someone for twelve years.

“I couldn’t, I wanted to, but what I was thinking was totally different than what came out of my mouth, I practically told him to get lost. Ugh… why am I such a failure at life?”

Shiro put his arm around my shoulders pulling me in closer, “You’re not a failure Keith, you just need to learn how to let others in… remember how long it took you to let me in, I think it was a good two years before you told me about your last family.”

“I just wanted to forget, I don’t need all of this brought back up right now, I just lost my job, no one wants to hire me, and now James is back to haunt my dreams…” Shit, I didn’t want to say that last part.

“Wait, he’s back in your dreams, is that why your night terrors came back?” Shiro pushed me back, looking at me with those determined eyes. “Keith, you need to tell me everything, please?”

I couldn’t fight him anymore, Shiro was the only one I had for the longest time, so he was the only one I could talk to about these things. I told him about the dream, about how terrified I was to run into my past, about everything going on between me and Lance. By the end of the conversation, I was fighting back tears. I wanted to be strong. I wanted to have a normal life, like everyone else, but what I got instead was just a load of anxiety and depression.

I made my way back to my room, throwing myself face first onto my bed, letting everything I was holding back out. I cried until there were no more tears left in my body, the sunlight warming the back of my neck as it spilled in through my open window. I guess it was time to get up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter isn't quite as long as the others, but I really wanted to say something to anyone reading this. Anxiety and depression are a very serious disease. Please do not be afraid to talk to someone if you feel scared, sad, or just feel like you need to talk. If you feel like you can't talk to someone you know about these issues, please do not hesitate to message me. I can lend an ear or eye and do my best to help in any way I can. I don't want anyone to feel like they are alone in this world.


	7. The Encounters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance and Keith encounter some new and not so new people.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry this chapter is so long, I'm trying something new. This chapter will have both Lance and Keith POV's.

I hadn’t talked to Keith in two days. I was mad and I felt like I had every right to be. I was sick of him shutting me out all the time, but this was different, this was serious. I tried to talk to Shiro about it, but he just gave me the same crap, telling me that it wasn’t “his story to tell”, that Keith would “tell me when he was ready”. But what if it’s too late, what if he never tells me? What if he gets hurt again?

I trudged into the gym, not really looking forward to my workout today, and headed to the locker room to unload my things. I was just hoping I could focus today.

As I ran on the treadmill I started to notice a pretty little blonde staring at me. Her eyes were a swirling mix of violet and magenta, and her skin was just kissed by the sun. Her hair fell just past her shoulders in her cute pigtails.

She looked away, blushing a deep shade of crimson, which in turn caused me to blush. We continued this through the next hour, switching machines, spotting each other across the room, glancing over our shoulders to catch the other staring. Until I was done, I physically couldn’t work out any longer. 

I headed to the locker room to take a shower. It was the best feeling in the world letting the water run down my body, every once in a while sending shivers up my spine. I relaxed allowing all outside noise to disappear, my mind slipping away for just an instant.

As I left the gym I heard a small voice, “Hey you.”

I spun around just in time to come face to face with the blonde from earlier. “Oh… hey,” I said awkwardly.

“I saw you in the gym and kinda thought you were cute, I’m Nyma by the way.” She put out her hand like she wanted me to shake it.

I took it confidently, leaning in, “The names Lance, and I think you’re pretty cute yourself.” I was using the old Lance McClain charm, it worked about 90% of the time.

She snickered as she handed me a slip of paper with a number on it. “You’re adorable, call me sometime?”

“You know it.” I wiggled my eyebrows and gave her the cheesiest smile before she turned and walked away.

As I walked through the door at home I could hear Hunk’s voice coming from the kitchen. I wondered who was here, thinking maybe it was Shay and decided to go investigate.

“Look, he’s always been that way, he didn’t talk to me for three days because I wouldn’t tell him who my crush was back at our old school.” Hunk was talking about me, but to who.

“I can’t help that I don’t want to talk about something. I don’t want to think about it, so I don’t talk about it, plain and simple.” It was Keith. “I just hate that he won’t talk to me, I never thought I would miss it, but now that he won’t... it feels... so quiet.” He sighed, “All I want is for him to acknowledge my existence.”

“It will blow over, I promise, just give him some time to cool down,” Hunk explained.

“Okay, just don’t tell Lance I said anything, I’ll just let him have his space for now.” Keith sounded sad, but why, did he really miss listening to me that much.

“Of course, have a good workout, oh and good luck job hunting.”

Oh no, Keith’s coming this way what do I do? I ran as fast as I could, jumping behind the couch. I could hear his footsteps as they made their way across the hardwood floor, then the sound of the door closing behind him. I popped out and ran for the kitchen.

I leaned against the door frame watching Hunk put together a sandwich. “What’cha makin?”

He jumped back flinging a slice of tomato through the air and onto the ground. “Dangit, that was the last slice too.” He looked up to meet my stare. “Oh no, what did you hear?”

“Everything from me not talking to you after you wouldn’t tell me about Razavi.”

“I didn’t tell you because I knew you were going to say something to her if I did, and I was right. You told her I liked her when you finally did find out, and she didn’t talk to me for months,” Hunk scolded.

“Okay, I’m sorry for that one, but that’s not what we’re talking about right now, you’re going to tell me everything Mullet said.” I moved to sit in the chair across from him, kicking my feet up onto the table.

He looked uneasy, “Lance, I promised Keith I wouldn’t say anything, please don’t make me a promise breaker, you know how that makes me feel.”

“But you’re not breaking your promise, I already heard most of it, I just need you to tell me the first part.”

“No, nope, I’m not telling you, why don’t you just go talk to him, you’re literally his stability. Did you know he got into a fight with some guy at the store yesterday, I’m just happy it didn’t get physical, but he did get banned for a week.”

“What?” This was the first I was hearing about this. “Wait, what did you mean when you said I was his stability?”

He took a big bite of his sandwich, “Well, you know how… like whenever he’s upset… you try to make him feel better, like when you brought him to the arcade the other day… he kind of needs you or whatever.”

I thought about it for a minute, I guess I really did do things like that, I just hate seeing him so sad, I just want to make him feel better. “Well, isn’t that what best friends do?”

“Yeah… friends.” Hunk commented.

I sat back, “Well, what did you all do with him before I came along?”

“He had Shiro, but we all know Shiro’s been busy lately with Adam and work, he just doesn’t have the time anymore,” Hunk sighed. “I think it scares Keith, I mean he’s always had this thing with people abandoning him, but Shiro’s been with him for twelve years, you think he would be over it by now.”

“So, what can I do, I don’t know anything about him.”

“You don’t have to know him to help him, just TALK to him.” I could tell Hunk was starting to get annoyed, which is weird because he rarely ever gets annoyed. “I just want the two of you to stop bugging me, and bug each other again.”

“Sorry Hunk, I’ll talk to him when I get home from work.” I could tell when I was getting annoying, the others would brush me off or tell me to go away, so I decided it was time to depart to my room.

Later that night

It was crazy busy at the castle of lions, some kind of bachelorette party or something. Allura was running back and forth from the kitchen to tables, while I filled multiple drinks at once. Neither of us really had the time to take a break, but I was fine with it, just meant the night would go by faster.

As I mixed up a couple of red lions I heard a familiar voice. “Hey, loverboy.” I turned around to see the beautiful blonde staring at me from across the counter.

I made my way over to her, dodging drink orders and questions about the menu. “Well, hello gorgeous,” I said with a smile.

“So, you’re a bartender huh?” She was fluttering her eyelashes with a playful smile.

“Is that a deal breaker?” I chuckled.

She leaned over the counter, grabbing ahold of the collar of my shirt, “Not at all, can you get me a drink Mr. bartender?”

Her face was inches from mine, causing me to blush. “O-of course I can sweet cheeks, what would you like?”

She let go of my shirt. “I want what everyone else is having, I heard the red lion is the best drink in Altea.”

“Well, then you heard right because I’m the one that created it.”

I wandered off to make the drink, spotting something else familiar in the crowd. I could never mistake that black mullet, and he was with Pidge and Hunk tonight. Dammit Hunk, I knew he was trying to get me to talk to him, but why were they heading outside, that’s not their usual spot. 

I quickly finished making the drink and brought it back over to Nyma. She took it and sipped it telling me it was great before I bid her farewell. 

Luckily the kitchen was closed for the night, so I told Allura to handle the drinks while I was gone. I also promised to give her a break when I got back, or she wouldn’t have agreed.

I found them sitting at the table closest to the fence, Keith looked emo as always, while Pidge and Hunk looked like they were deep in conversation.

I snuck up behind Keith while the others were distracted, “What are you doing here Mullet?”

He jumped causing his chair to tip backward. I caught him just in time, not realizing his face was now inches from mine, I could feel the warmth of his breath on my forehead.

“Shit, sorry, I don’t know why that made me jum… ” He finally realized it was me, his face turning a nice shade of rose.

I quickly pushed him back up, not really sure why I just got extremely embarrassed by that. “It’s okay, I did save you in the end, didn’t I?” He was just kind of frozen. He wasn’t moving or even speaking, and he wouldn’t look at me. “Okay, I’m sorry I ignored you, please don’t do it back, I can never take what I dish out.”

“I’m sorry, did you guys hear something,” He asked Pidge and Hunk who was now looking at the two of us.

“Come on Keith, I’m sorry.” He still wouldn’t look at me, did it really mean that much to him. “I’ll do anything to get you to talk to me, please talk to me.”

“Anything?” Dammit, I didn’t like the way he said that.

“Well, I mean..” I rubbed the back of my neck chuckling nervously.

“You have to play DDR with me twice a week for the rest of our lives.” He turned to look at me, the corners of his mouth turned up into a creepy smile. “Do we have a deal McClain, or do you want to go back to silence?”

“Deal, deal, just please stop ignoring me.”

“Oh, Lance, so glad you could join us, did you get the space you needed?” He glanced up at me with those amethyst eyes and smiled.

Suddenly I felt someone at my back, arms wrapping around my chest. I quickly turned around to find Nyma standing behind me, smiling from ear to ear. “Lance, I’ve been looking for you everywhere, what are you doing out here?”

“Oh, Nyma, I was just saying hi to my friends, guys, this is Nyma.” She stepped out from behind me and waved.

The others greeted her with hellos and welcomes, but when I turned to Keith his smile was faded. He looked at her almost with fear, like he’d seen a ghost.

“Keith, you okay?” I asked trying to place my hand on his shoulder. He slapped it away, still looking at Nyma, before standing up and running into the bar.  
I turned back to Hunk and Pidge who looked just as confused as I was. “What the hell just happened?”

“No clue,” They both said in unison.

“Should I go find him,” Pidge suggested.

“Well someone has to,” Hunk noted.

She sighed, standing up and running off into the bar after Keith.

I turned back to Nyma, “Do you two know each other?”

“No, I don’t think so, I mean I feel like I would recognize that mullet,” She giggled.

“Ha, yeah… it’s hard to forget something like that.” The tone in my voice came out much softer than I had anticipated.

“Well, the angry silver-haired girl behind the counter was looking for you, something about a break she was promised.”

“Crap, I gotta go.”

 

~Keith’s POV~

 

I couldn’t think straight, was that really the girl I had seen with James the other night? Did I just overreact? Shit, did I slap Lance’s hand away, he’s gonna go back to not talking to me again for that one.

I pushed my way through the crowd and out the front door. I leaned back against the wall, the cold metal feeling amazing against my hot skin. I tried to focus on the mental picture from the arcade, I was almost positive that girl was the same from tonight.

“Holy... shit Keith... why are you so fast?” Pidge came running out, gasping for air.

I laughed, “First of all language, second, it’s because my legs are twice as long.”

“You’re lucky… I’m out of breath… or I would be throwing something at you.” She leaned back against the wall next to me. “Sooo… you wanna talk about what just happened?”

I sighed, I knew I had to say something, “I thought she looked like someone… but I think I might have just been seeing things, I should probably apologize.” I turned to walk back into the bar, but she grabbed my arm and pulled me back.

“Keith, tell me the truth right now,” She demanded.

I dropped my head in defeat, she was always too good at reading me. “Okay... I saw her the other night at the arcade, and she was with someone I used to know, but don’t really care to see, and I just kind of panicked when she showed up and hugged Lance like they knew each other.” I paused, if she really was the girl from the other night, then that means James might be around too. “Shit, Pidge I have to go, I’m so sorry, will you apologize to the others for me?”

“I’m not your secretary, you can tell them yourself when we get home, be careful walking in the dark.” She said as she slipped back into the bar.

I had walked a couple of blocks before I started to notice the footsteps behind me. They were getting louder and faster, as my heart started to race. I stopped and turned around quickly, but it was just a couple from the bar. They looked at me weird as they passed me on the sidewalk. I continued my walk passing under a bridge and through the city, the sounds of cars driving by on the street, splashing through the puddles the rain had created just hours before.

Suddenly, a set of fingers wrapped themselves in my hair, pulling me into the alley. An arm wrapped around my waist. I was struggling to break free, but instead was thrown up against a wall, the entirety of their weight pushing up against me, and that’s when I heard that familiar voice.

“Quit struggling Kogane, is this the kind of homecoming you give to your boyfriend?” It was James, the sound of his voice sending chills up my spine. I kept struggling, trying to break free, but his body was so heavy. “Oh, you’ve gotten stronger, I guess I’m not the only one who bulked up while I was away.”

I felt his fingers running up my arm. “STOP!” I yelled. “Please, just stop! I, I’m not your b-boyfriend anymore.”

He let go, stepping back, causing me to fall to the ground. Why wouldn’t my legs work, why couldn’t I run away from this, what was holding me back from taking off?

“Keith.” No, not that tone, don’t you dare use that tone with me. “I’m sorry, you know I didn’t mean to hurt you, I couldn’t control myself, but I’m better now.” No, I don’t want to listen to any of this. “Keith, please forgive me, I won’t hurt you this time, I promise.”

Somehow I was finally able to stand up. I turned to look at him, tears rolling down my cheeks, and yelled, “I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU!” and ran.

I ran as fast as my legs could take me, my head spinning. I just had to make it home, that’s it, just make it home and everything will be fine. My legs started to hurt, but I was only a block from the house, so I pushed through the pain.

I crashed through the door and stumbled to my bathroom, hoping to god Shiro wasn’t home. I couldn’t tell him now, he would go off the rails and probably hurt someone, or himself. I’ll just keep it a secret for a bit longer, no need to worry anyone, I can handle this. I finally made it to the bathroom just in time to puke my guts out.

I had no idea how much time had passed until I heard Lance, Pidge, and Hunk come stumbling into the living room. I really didn’t want them to know I was awake, so I ran to my room and shut the lights off before jumping into bed. The loud pitter patter of their footsteps growing quieter as they disappeared down the other hallway, heading toward their rooms. But one set of footsteps began to grow louder, coming right down the hallway towards my room. Was it Shiro, maybe, but the footsteps were much softer than his brother's usual steps.

The door to my room opened slightly, the glow of the hallway light spilling in through the small crack. “Keith, are you awake?” Lance’s voice came through the door softly.  
I laid still, I still wasn’t sure if I wanted to be seen, especially not by Lance. Last time we talked I slapped his hand away, he was probably coming to yell at me.

“I just wanted to make sure you were okay, you seemed upset tonight and I don’t like seeing you like that.” I could hear the door begin to creak shut. Now was my chance, I could say something right now, anything, just speak Keith.

“I-I’m sorry,” I whispered, it was all the courage I could muster.

“Did you say something?” The door opened back up, but further this time. “Keith?”

“I… I said I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have slapped your hand away, I overreacted and I shouldn’t have stormed off like that, I just…” I stopped, feeling a hand on my shoulder.

Lance was now sitting behind me on my bed. “It’s okay,” he said in a soft voice, “I’m kind of used to you storming off by now. Do you want to talk about it?”

“Why does everyone want me to talk about it, I just want to forget, is that so much to ask?” I still couldn’t bring myself to roll over, as much as I wanted to see Lance's gorgeous blue eyes, I couldn’t let him see me. “Lance, can I ask you something?”

“O-of course, ask away.”

“Have you ever been in a situation where you thought you could handle something, but you really, really can’t, because things got way too out of control, but you’re too afraid to tell someone because you don’t want to worry them, and…” Shit, what am I doing, why am I saying all of these things?

“Keith, are you in trouble?” Lance sounded worried.

“N-no, I… I’m fine, it was just hypothetical.” I don’t think he bought it, but I can’t tell him the truth.

His weight shifted from the bed. “I get it, I won’t pry.” His soft footsteps made their way across the floor to the doorway. “Just promise me you will tell someone if things do get out of hand, I don’t want you to get hurt.” The light spilled through the door as Lance stepped out. “Night Mullet.” The door creaked closed leaving me alone with my thoughts.


	8. Get along

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nyma comes to hang out, but what are her true motives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith's POV

A week had gone by, things were back to normal between me and Lance, except he had been skipping out to hang out with Nyma. I wasn’t too happy about it, but there was no way I was telling him why. My mind continuously playing my dreams through my head, Lance’s words hurting me every time I heard them, ‘you’re always ruining my relationships, I’m done, just leave me alone.’ I don’t want to go through that, I don’t want that to become my reality, but I also couldn’t stand Nyma.

I sat in the living room watching TV as I folded my laundry. Lance came from the kitchen waving to Hunk. “Thanks man, I’ll make sure I stop and get some milk on the way home.” He stopped, looking at me with that stupid cheesy grin, why did I think it was so cute. “Hey Keith, I’m gonna go pick up Nyma, wanna come?”

“No,” I said bluntly.

“Oh… okay, then I guess I’ll be right back.” He started to walk away.

“Wait, you’re bringing her here?” I started to panic.

“Well duh, are my girlfriends not allowed at the house anymore?”

I can’t show fear, I can’t let on that something’s wrong. “No, you can, I just… I just had some other things to do, but they can wait until tomorrow.”

He looked at me weirdly before walking out of the front door. This isn’t good, I’ve managed to stay away from her for the most part, but now she was going to be in our house, and I couldn’t keep ignoring Lance. I ran to Pidge’s room to talk to her.

She was sitting at her computer, probably coding or hacking into something. She never took her eyes off the screen as I stumbled over the piles of who knows what all over her floor.

“Pidge, I need to talk to you,” I said finally making my way to her desk.

“It better be important, I’m trying to hack into NASA.”

“I… I’m gonna pretend I didn’t hear that, but it’s about Nyma.” She groaned, but I ignored it. “Listen, Lance is bringing her here and I don’t want to be the only one hanging out with the two of them, so I need you to stop trying to hack NASA, or whatever, and come play video games with me.”

She sighed, “Fine, but only because you said video games.”

I thanked her, probably more than I needed to, and we both headed out to the living room.

We had just made it through the first match of Galra fighter when Lance walked through the door. Behind him of course, was Nyma, strolling in without a care in the world. Her blonde hair falling effortlessly over her shoulders.

“Hey, you got the gremlin to come out and play,” Lance joked as he placed his bag on the floor next to the couch.

“Yeah, I just had to bait her with video games.” I laughed.

“Do you two want to die?” She snarled holding up one of her slippers.

We both backed off waving our hands in surrender. “No, please not the shoe again?” Lance cried.

Nyma stepped out in front of Pidge and I, “Hey guys, good to see you again, are you feeling better today, Keith?”

“Y-yeah, much better.” I was lying. It was taking everything I had to not throw up at that point.

“Good, I hope to be seeing a lot more of you, Lance says that you two are best friends.” She sat down on the couch next to me, her weight shifting me slightly. “I wish I had a best friend to live with, it would be so much fun.”

Why was she so interested in me, and why was she sitting so close to me and not Lance. I never wanted her here in the first place, and now she was all up in my personal space trying to start conversations with me.

Lance got up, “I gotta go to the bathroom, I’ll be right back.”

No don’t leave her here, don’t leave her with me, I can barely even stand being next to her right now.

As soon as Lance disappeared around the corner she leaned over, mouth just inches from my ear, and whispered, “Don’t you dare get in my way, or I’ll let you know who know where you live.” Panic set in, heart racing, breathing deepened. “That’s right, I know all about you Keith Kogane.”

I couldn’t speak, my mouth wouldn’t open to form words, the nauseous feeling in the pit of my stomach bubbling up. Pidge wasn’t even paying attention, she was too busy gloating about winning to notice. I had to get out of here, I couldn’t stay here next to her. I got up and ran to the bathroom, bumping into Lance on the way.

I sat back against the bathtub, mint flavor taking over my mouth from brushing my teeth, and I cried. My situation couldn’t get much worse. What was I supposed to do now? My mind ran through every possible outcome, none of them being good, they always came back to me losing Lance forever. I couldn’t tell him what she said, because then I would have to explain James and I still wasn’t ready for that.

I crawled over to the sink, rummaging through the cabinet down below until I found my old swiss army knife. I pulled it out and sat back down against the bathtub. I promised Shiro I wouldn’t do it anymore, it’s been so long since the last time. Maybe just this once, and then things will be better... right?

There was a knock at the door, “Keith?” Crap, it was Shiro. I quickly shoved the blade back under the sink and brushed myself off before opening the door.

“What’s up Shiro,” I asked nervously.

“Lance said he was worried about you, and from the looks of it he had every right to be,” He said.

I snuck past him, ducking under his large bicep, and darting into the hallway. “Everything is fine, I promise, my stomachs just acting up.” I tried to make a run for it, but Shiro’s voice came through and I stopped dead in my tracks.

“You’re going to tell me what is going on right now, no excuses,” He barked.

I turned back around, trying my best to fake a smile. “Okay, but we’re not talking about it here, follow me to my room.”

We passed through the kitchen, and down to the end of the hallway to my room. I sat down on my bed, crossing my arms, trying not to make eye contact with those dark grey eyes. What was I going to tell him, I couldn’t say anything about James, but I also couldn’t lie to save my life.

“You gonna start talking?” He asked sitting next to me on the bed.

“I… of course, I just… you of all people should know why I’m upset.” I stammered. “I hate being around her, I can’t stand it, she’s not even as nice as she plays out to be.” I sighed, “I guess, I can’t be mad if I never tell him.”

“So you’re jealous,” He chuckled. “And what did you mean by “not as nice as she plays out to be”?”

“When Lance left to go to the bathroom she whispered some not so nice things to me, and I…”

Shiro interrupted, “What kind of things?”

Damn, I was hoping he wouldn’t ask, what was I going to say now. “She, uh… she told me not to get in between her and Lance.”

“Why would she say something like that?”

“I don’t know, maybe Lance, she said he told her we were best friends.” I couldn’t make eye contact, if I made eye contact he would be able to tell I was lying.

“Do you want me to talk to Lance ab…”

“NO!” I yelled. “No, please don’t say or do anything, I don’t want anything coming back to me.”

He sighed, “Okay, but you can’t keep this up, you can’t avoid them forever.”

“I know, but I can’t mess this one up, I’ve messed up every other relationship he’s been in, this one can’t be me.” I stood up walking over to the window. “Shiro, I can’t lose him, even if I’m just a friend for the rest of our lives, at least he’ll be in my life.”

I could hear his heavy footsteps as he made his way over. He leaned against the wall, my eyes finally meeting his. “I know there’s something you’re not telling me, but I’ll let it slide for now.” He placed his hand on my shoulder, “Promise me you’re okay and that if anything happens you will come to me.”

“I, I promise.” I hated lying, it made me feel even worse than I already had, but I didn’t want to be a burden to him, I didn’t want to be a burden on any of them anymore.

He pushed himself off the wall and headed for the door, turning around to look at me before exiting to the hallway.

I walked over and laid down on my bed. I closed my eyes allowing my other senses to heighten. I could hear the others talking in the living room, the sound of the TV blaring. How they could hear themselves over that I will never know. I’m not sure when I passed out, but the next thing I knew it was midnight and the house was silent.

I sat up, feeling around my bed for my phone. I clicked on the flashlight and stood up. The last thing I ate was breakfast this morning, and my stomach felt like it was eating itself, so I decided to head to the kitchen.

I walked through the dark hallway, using only the flashlight from my phone to light the way, I didn’t want to wake anyone. When I reached the kitchen I flicked on the light above the sink, which gave me just the right amount of light to see what I was doing.

The fridge was stocked full giving me many options to choose from. As I was searching through I found a bag from my favorite fast food restaurant, it had a note on it. ‘Eat this Mullet -Lance’ I opened the bag to find two burgers no pickles, extra onions, and a strawberry cream pie. Damn, he knows me too well.

I heated the burger and sat down at the table to eat. I put in my headphones and turned it to my playlist.

♪ I tear my heart open  
I sew myself shut  
My weakness is  
That I care too much  
My scars remind us  
That the past is real  
I tear my heart open  
Just to feel ♪

I suddenly got the feeling like I wasn’t alone. I spun around in my chair to find Nyma leaning in the doorway wearing one of Lance’s shirts. The aura in the room changed drastically, the feeling of someone standing on my chest mixed with a weird fog in my brain. I pulled my headphones out grasping at my chest, just in time to hear her speak.

“Are you feeling better now, Keith?” Her tone was menacing.

“What do you want from me?” I snarled.

She slowly walked over and sat across from me. “Listen, I don’t like you and you don’t like me, but we are going to have to get along. Lance was too worried about you to even care about me today, so act normal or things are going to go from bad to worse for you.”

“How am I supposed to act normal when you keep threatening me?”

“Figure it out or deal with the consequences.” She hissed. “Night!” somehow she changed her attitude completely, heading out of the kitchen with a skip in her step.


	9. Everything Just Gets Worse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The situation worsens for Keith, as he tries to avoid his problems.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith's POV

~One month later~

It was arcade day. Lance was off in his room getting ready while I rummaged through the kitchen for snacks. It was my first day off since I had started my new job at the shop, so Lance wanted to celebrate. I packed the snacks into my backpack and headed down the hall to his room.

I stood outside his door, it almost sounded like Lance was fighting with someone, so I listened in.

“No Nyma, I promised him we’d go and I’m not backing out.” Lance’s voice came through the door, much deeper than usual.

“But Lance, I wanted to go to the movies with you today, besides you just went to the arcade a week ago, can’t you skip it, just this once.”

“I’m not skipping out, Keith is my best friend and I’m not going back to silence.”

“I’m just sick of him always coming between us.”

That’s not good if she thinks that, then who knows what’s going to happen. If she tells him where I live then… I can’t let that happen.

Pidge walked past me as I pulled out my phone, she waved but I was a bit too focused on my phone to wave back. She sighed heavily and kept on heading towards the kitchen.

K: Hey man, I just got called to come in today, I hope you’re not mad.  
I could hear his phone go off in his room, stopping the two of them from fighting. I could see the little thought bubble pop up in the messages.  
L: But I thought today was arcade day? :( :( :(  
K: I’m sorry, I promise I won’t flake on you again, it’s just this one time, right?  
L: Okay, but I’m still sad :(

I chuckled as I walked down the hall. Now I just had to figure out what I was going to do for the rest of the day, I couldn’t just hang around the house, that would be suspicious. I guess my only choice was to go for a walk, that should help me think of something to do today.

The fresh air was nice, I hadn’t really been outside much over the past month or so, except to go to the arcade or work, so it was nice to get out and get in some alone time. It was actually starting to get cold, fall was fast approaching and the leaves were starting to change into their usual reds, oranges, and browns. Cars whizzed past on the street as I walked down the sidewalk to the park.

I decided to go for a run through the parks many trails, maybe that would help me get my mind off of things. I turned on my music and put in my headphones.

♪ Just like the match you strike to incinerate  
The lives of everyone you know  
And what’s the worst you take  
From every heart you break ♪

I ran for what felt like miles before I stopped to take a breather. I sat down on the bench just off the trail checking my phone for messages. There was a message from Shiro,

S: Hey, I need to talk to you, when will you be back from the arcade?  
K: I actually skipped out on the arcade today, I can be home in about an hour.  
S: Why did you skip out on the arcade, I thought that was your guys’ thing?  
K: Long story, I just came to the park for a run instead.  
S: Okay, well then I guess I’ll see you in about an hour.

I sat on the bench for another minute or so, then headed back out to the main park. Along my walk, I heard footsteps behind me, must have been another runner coming up behind me. I moved to the side of the trail to let them pass, but an arm wrapped around my shoulders.

“Don’t scream and don’t run, I just want to talk to you.” Every muscle in my body tensed as my heart started to race. James’ voice came through in that soft tone, “Please give me another chance baby…”

“Don’t you dare call me that, you have no right to call me baby,” I sneered pushing his arm off of me. “I thought we went over this, I will never forgive you for what you put me through, especially not after what you did at the party.” My fists were balled so tight I could feel my nails digging into the skin.

He grabbed me by the collar of my shirt and drug me off into the woods. I fought him the whole way, trying to loosen his grip on my shirt. 

He threw me up against a tree, “I’m getting sick of your shit Kogane, you can’t run away from me forever.”

“Watch me.” I was finally able to slip out from his grip and started running back to the main trail. I could see it, just through the trees up ahead, I could hear the kids playing on the playground off in the distance. I just needed to make it to the trail.

I was suddenly tackled to the ground, a sharp pain shooting through my chest as James pulled me further back into the woods by my ankles. He jumped on top of me pinning both of my arms to the ground.

“I told you, you can’t run forever,” He hissed.

Another sharp pain through my chest, this time knocking all of the air from my lungs. I coughed trying to fill them with even the tiniest bit of air before another blow, this one coming from the other side. I thought I might have even heard a snap on the last one. My vision went blurry and I couldn’t focus anymore, I couldn’t do anything to stop James’ punches. Was this it? Was I going to wake back up in the hospital, or worse? Was I about to die?

It stopped, the weight lifted from my abdomen, and when I opened my eyes, James was gone. I laid there for a while before attempting to get up. I had to get home, I told Shiro I would be there in an hour, almost an hour ago. I sat up trying not to scream out in pain as I lifted my shirt to reveal two very large bruises one on each side of my ribs, they were definitely broken, if not both then at least my left side was.

I had to walk home like this, but I could barely sit up. It didn’t matter, I had to make it home no matter what kind of pain I was in if I didn’t Shiro would get worried and everything would escalate faster than I wanted it to. I could still handle this, this was nothing, right?

I finally made it home, it was a half hour later than I had planned, but I was home. I walked through the front door to find Shiro and Adam sitting on the couch in the living room. The TV was blaring some kind of midday soap opera that those two seemed to love.

“What took you so long?” Shiro asked turning the volume down.

“Sorry, I ran into someone while I was on my way back,” I lied.

“Oh, who?”

Damn, I wasn’t expecting him to ask me who. “J-just someone I knew in high school.” Crap, why did I say high school, change the subject, Keith. “Umm… what was it you wanted to talk to me about?”

“Oh, I almost forgot.” He stood up and walked over to me. “I wanted to tell you I got a new job.”

“That’s awesome!” I exclaimed. “What is it?”

“It’s at your old high school, I got a job as a guidance counselor.”

“Wait, you got a job at my old high school, but that’s all the way across town, it already takes you a half hour just to get to Adam’s apartment.”

He sighed, “That was the other thing I needed to talk to you about,” He took in a deep breath, “I’m moving to Adam’s at the end of the week.”

The fog crept through my brain like it was six in the morning and I was driving on one of the back roads outside of town. I thought I was ready for something like this, but I was mistaken, those words hurt more than my ribs did. I finally managed to speak, “That’s… that’s great Shiro.” He reached out to hug me, but I pulled away, “I’m sorry, I have to go… take a shower. I’m really happy for you though.”

I dodged his grip and ran down the hall, I could hear him yelling for me, but I couldn’t stop. I locked myself in the bathroom, and now that I was finally able to feel the full pain of my injuries, I dropped to the ground.

I carefully pulled my shirt off, examining myself more in the mirror. It looked bad, really bad, but even if I went to the hospital they wouldn’t really do much and I would have to explain what happened, I’ll just keep dealing with it myself. It’s not that bad yet.

There was a knock at the door, followed by several more knocks and what sounded like an extremely angry Lance, “Keith… Keith, I’m coming in.”

“NO!” I was too late, Lance burst through the bathroom door.

“Keith, what’s this I hear about you skipping out on arcade day to go run…” He finally noticed me trying to cover up. “What are you doing, it’s not like I’ve never seen you with your shirt off.”

I backed up against the sink as he stepped closer. “It’s n-nothing,” I lied.

I couldn’t back up any further, but he just kept getting closer and closer until he was right in front of me. “If that’s the case, then drop the shirt.” He put a hand on the shirt, brushing against my left side. I winced in pain, which caused him to pull the shirt away completely.

“Lance, listen, I can explain…”

“What the actual frick happened to you, and don’t give me no crap lie.” The worry lines began to form on his face, as he pulled me over to the toilet to sit me down.

I took me a minute to respond, my mind was racing through every possible lie I could come up with. He doesn’t want me to lie, but what else was I going to do, I wasn’t ready, I just wanted to take a shower and lay in my bed for the rest of my life. “I… I had a bike fall on me the other day, it wasn’t that big of a deal, but it’s getting a bit painful. Do you think I should take something?”

I think he bought it because he got up and started to rummage around in the drawers under the sink. He came back holding a pill bottle with some round blue pills in it. “I’ll give you one of these, but you have to tell me something in return.”

“What do you want me to tell you?”

“You will have to agree before I tell you,” He sang.

I was in so much pain, I ended up just agreeing without knowing. He handed me the blue pill along with a glass of water. He had a smile the whole time, and I had a feeling it was about what he was going to ask me.

He took the cup back to the sink and walked back, sitting with his legs spread out in front of me. “Okay, time for you to tell me what I want to know,” He looked me straight in the eyes, “What is your history with James?”

I knew I should have found out what he wanted to know before I agreed, what the hell was I going to tell him, how was I going to get out of this.

“Don’t lie to me either, like you did about this.” He gestured to the bruising on my ribs.

“You figured that out huh?” I asked looking down at the floor.

“You might be good at a lot of things, but lying is not one of them. I’ll let the rib story slide for now, if you tell me what I want to know.”

I couldn’t get out of it, I had to tell him about James.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, so this is kind of a short chapter and I'm sorry I left Y'all on a cliffhanger, but I just wanted to warn everyone ahead of time that there will be abuse in the next chapter. So trigger warning, if it applies to any of you.


	10. The Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith tells Lance the story of him and James

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith's POV

I ran through the halls looking for that certain someone, that cute boy with the grey-blue eyes, the one with the gorgeous smile. I found him in the lunchroom talking to some of his friends. As I made my way to the table he turned and gave me the biggest smile.

“Keith, come here, I was just talking about you.” He called across the bustle of the cafeteria.

I came over and sat down next to him, his hand reaching out to brush a stray piece of hair from my face. His touch was one of the best feelings in the world, like the feeling when a cat brushes against your leg, or when you get home from school and your dog is so excited to see you, it was always making my heart skip a beat.

“Okay, so you’re totally coming to the party tonight, right?” Ryan asked leaning across the table.

“Of course, I was just about to ask Keith if he wanted to be my plus one.” James turned to me, a soft expression falling over his face.

I thought about it for a moment. “Well, I don’t really like large crowds or parties…”

“Come on baby, please, I promise I’ll bring you home whenever you want to leave,” He begged.

“O-okay, but only because you gave me the eyes, you know those are my weakness,” I pouted.

He fist pumped, a smile growing larger on his face. I always lost all worry when I saw his smile, the happiness I could bring him, the warmth I felt inside. He was my protector, my sun and moon, my everything, and I was his life. I would do anything for him, even step outside my comfort zone for a night.

“Sweet, baby I love you, I will pick you up at eight.” He stood up and grabbed my hand, “Let’s promise to have a good time tonight, okay?”

“Okay.”

His lips met mine and the whole cafeteria erupted in a slew of different reactions ranging from catcalls to gasps, to straight booing. He pulled back, “See you at eight Kogane,” And walked away, taking his friends with him.

I walked home later that day, it was finally starting to get nice out, the flowers were blooming and the trees were coming back to life, creating a wonderful fragrance in the air too complex to put into words. My walk was short, but I decided to take a long way home today, just to take in my surroundings.

Ever since Shiro’s parents left me with him, I’ve felt a strange feeling, it’s hard to explain, but it feels like, when you finally have all of the pieces of the puzzle done but one, and you finally find it under the table, after you swore you looked there at least five times, and gently place it in its rightful spot, that is what I’ve felt this last year.

I walked along the creek, jumping over rocks and pushing my way through the brush. I loved being outside, I didn’t get to be outside much at my last foster home, but here I was able to go anywhere I wanted. The mixture of the birds chirping from the trees and the flow of the creek water rushing past me put me at ease.

I finally made it home, Shiro’s car parked in the driveway. It wasn’t anything special, but it got him to work and back every day. I hated that he worked so many hours and so many days, I even tried to get a job, but he told me to finish school first. I just wanted to help, I was tired of being a burden… that’s right, I’m not supposed to call myself that anymore.  
I walked in, and down the hall to the kitchen. Shiro was running around like a chicken with his head cut off, throwing pans around and pulling ingredients out of the fridge. Shiro was a disaster any time he was trying to impress someone, like a couple years ago he liked this guy at his school and he was bringing him home to meet his parents, he spent eight full hours prepping dinner.

“What’s going on?” I asked.

He jumped, “Oh Keith, thank god you’re home, I need you to help me with this food, here put this on.” He tossed me an apron.

“I am not wearing this, and who’s the food for?” I set the apron down on the table and walked over to the sink to wash my hands.

“Well... they’re for my boyfriend, Adam.” He sounded hesitant to tell me. “He’s coming over for dinner tonight to meet you.”

“Why me, I’m nothing special?”

“Keith! What did I say about talking like?”

“I’m sorry,” I wasn’t used to people telling me to think better of myself, most people just pushed me further into my darkness.

He cleared his throat, “Keith, he wants to meet you because you mean a lot to me, and if he wants to be with me, then he has to get along with my little brother.” I loved it when he called me that, no one had ever called me that.

“Okay, but I can only stay until eight, James is picking me up and I’m gonna stay at his place tonight.”

“You guys aren’t going to any parties are you?” Shiro had a keen eye when it came to spotting my lies.

I looked away and pretended to set the table, not really doing that good of a job. “We’re not going to any parties,” I lied.

He sighed, “Okay, but only because it’s a Friday night.”

I gave him a hug, “Thanks Shiro, you’re the best.”

We finished dinner just in time. A knock at the door made both of us jump. Shiro started to panic, which was normal, so I pushed him back down the hall to his room and told him to change. Meanwhile, I went to answer the door.

He wasn’t exactly what I was expecting, but he was pretty cute even with the glasses. I offered him my hand, “Hi I’m Keith, nice to meet you.”

He took my hand and shook it, “Adam, and nice to meet you too, Takashi has told me a lot about you.”

He was tall and kind of lanky, with a messy head of light brown hair. He was actually dressed nicely, for a dinner with his boyfriend and his boyfriends adopted brother. “You look dressed up.”

“Umm, thanks?”

“So, what are your intentions with my brother?” I asked.

“You don’t have to answer that.” He came running out of the bedroom, also dressed up. What the hell was going on, are they both just disasters or what. “Keith, be nice to our guest.”

We sat down to eat, the table set perfectly for the three of us. Everyone was quiet at first, we were just eating our food like it was a normal night. I wanted to break the silence, but I didn’t want to say the wrong thing like I always do.

“So, Keith, what kind of classes are you taking right now?” Adam finally broke the silence.

“Uh, I’m in autos three, woodshop, and then, of course, the boring stuff,” Why was everyone acting so casual, it felt weird like it had been like this all along.

Shiro chimed in, “Oh, tell him about your guitar lessons, Sven says your doing really well.”

“Oh, you play the guitar, that’s so cool!” Adam was overly dramatic, it was kind of funny.

“Yeah, but I don’t know if I would say I’m good at it.” Shiro shot me one of his, don’t put yourself down looks, and then looked back to Adam.

They kept exchanging glances throughout the rest of the dinner. I wanted to know what they were up to, but how was I going to ask. “Hey Shiro, I feel like this dinner is going really well, want to tell me what’s really going on?” Well, so much for subtly. 

He spits out his drink, “Wh- what are you talking about?”

“I can see you two conspiring about something, I’m not blind you know.” I crossed my arms across my chest.

“Okay, you got us,” Adam said looking to Shiro then back to me, “This isn’t about me meeting you, although we are meeting for the first time, Takashi wanted to ask you something.”

I looked at Shiro who looked a bit uneasy. “Well, I… I really just wanted to ask you… ugh, I wanted to ask you if you would let me adopt you.” He blurted out.

I didn’t really know what to say, my mind couldn’t process the sheer joy I was feeling inside. Tears began to form falling rapidly down my cheeks, causing Shiro to run around the table and pull me into a tight hug. “O-of course I *hic* want you to adopt me,” I cried into his shoulder.

“Oh thank god, why did I think this was going to go so much worse?” He said squeezing me tighter.

The rest of the dinner consisted of the two of us crying and Adam trying to get us to stop with cookies. When we finally did stop, Shiro pulled out the paperwork and we both signed it, all we had to do was go down to the courthouse Monday morning and turn them in.

It was getting close to eight, so I headed off to my room to change. I pulled on my ripped black jeans, pausing for a moment as they slid past the scars on my thighs, and threw my favorite red t-shirt, the one with the red lion on it. I grabbed my black leather jacket and headed out to the front step to wait for James.

He showed up at eight on the dot, pulling up on his orange motorcycle. He tossed me a helmet and motioned for me to get on.

The breeze felt nice as we whizzed through the dimly lit neighborhoods. The night was much cooler than the day this time of year, which sent shivers up my spine. I tightened my grip around his waist and laid my head on his back. Nothing could ruin this day, not even this party.

We pulled off into the grass at Ryan Kinkade’s, so this is the house I was going to be stuck in all night. It was pretty big, Ryan’s family is somewhat rich after all. It looked as though the party had already started, cars lining the street all the way to the end of the block.

“Are you sure I have to go in there?” I groaned.

“Yes babe, I’m sure you will have fun, just give it a chance,” James said turning off the bike.

I flipped my leg over and stepped off the bike, “Okay, but I’m not drinking, I don’t even like the taste of alcohol.”

“Oh, come on, they have this stuff called jungle juice, I know you’ll like it if you try it.” He pulled his helmet off and ran his fingers through his hair. “Let’s have some fun tonight babe, please?” He gave me those puppy dog eyes again.

“Ugh, fine, you win.”

We finally made our way to the kitchen, after stopping to talk to almost every football player on the team, and on the center island sat a large twenty-gallon tote filled to the top with a pinkish red liquid and some sliced up fruit. James poured both of us a glass and I took a sip, it was fruity, like drinking cranberry and pineapple juice.

“Okay, I have to admit that this is pretty good,” I said taking another sip.

“See, I told you, it was good.” He pulled me close to his side, slamming his drink in one gulp. “Pour me another one Ryan.”

~Two hours later~

I couldn’t seem to find James anywhere, my head was spinning and I could barely keep myself standing. I needed to leave, I needed to get some fresh air. I stumbled my way down the hallway to the living room, the last place I had to check for him. He was sitting on the couch talking to a couple of people from the team.

I approached him and waited for him to look up at me. “James, I, I think I might need to go ho…” My knees buckled and I lost control of my body.

James caught me just before I hit the floor, “Shit Keith, how much have you had to drink?”

The lights were flashing, my head was spinning and all I could hear in the background was the bass from the song that was playing. “I really need to leave, I think I need some fresh air.”

“Well, how about you just try laying down, here let’s go find you a bed to lay on.” He helped me to my feet and we made our way upstairs, as much as I just wanted to make it outside, I couldn’t really get there myself.

We found the nearest room, with an empty bed, and he drunkenly dropped me onto the mattress. He fell next to me and we both just kind of laid there for a while before he pulled himself up onto his elbows. His face hovered above mine, those blue eyes staring into my soul, at least what I could see of them through my drunken haze. He pressed his lips to mine, the intoxicating warmth sent a chill through my body. His kiss became more intense as he shifted himself closer to me.

“James I…” I pulled away, but only for a second before he was back at it.

His hand found its way up my shirt, caressing my hot skin. It felt so good, I had never been touched like this, other than by James, but the furthest we had ever gotten was kissing. He shifted again, this time the weight of his body crashing down on me, he may have been skinny, but he was solid muscle. His hands were now both up my shirt.

“James… I’m, I’m not ready for this, please stop.” I cried out.

“Come on baby, it’s been almost a year now, just let me have this tonight?” He begged.

I tried to pull myself away, but my drunk ass wouldn’t move. “James, please stop, please don’t do this right now.” My heart was beating out of my chest I could faintly hear the music out in the living room, where I desperately wish I would have stayed. He pushed me up onto the bed further and began to undo the button on my jeans. I pushed at his hands, but my arms felt like jello. “James, please!” I was screaming, but no one was coming to help, maybe I was imagining it all.

“Quit struggling Kogane, you’re making it hard to get these tight pants off.” James didn’t sound like himself, he sounded more primal. His hands were all over my body, as I desperately clawed at the sheets trying to pull myself away.

I finally had a brief moment to think as he tried to pull his own pants off. I started to run for the door, but a hand grabbed at my ankle and pulled. Everything got blurry as a searing pain shot through my head, I could feel myself being dragged across the floor and back up onto the bed.

The next part was hazy to say the least. I remember pain, tears, and hands… his hands were all over me. I blacked out sometime in the middle of it.

~The next morning~

I woke up in tremendous pain, everything hurting from my head to my toes. As I rolled over it dawned on me, I was in a stranger's bed, more particularly I was in a stranger's bed with no pants on. I sat up placing one hand on the bed and the other on… James. His eyes slowly opened, a groan emitting from his lips.

Everything came crashing down on me at once, The second our eyes met. I lost all ability to breathe, feeling like someone just sat on my chest. I pulled my hand away and scrambled out of the bed and onto my feet.

“What’s wrong babe, why are you looking at me like that?” It was like he was playing dumb with me.

“I… I told you to stop, why didn’t you listen?” I cried.

“Come on baby, it had to happen sooner or later, just let it go.” That tone, it wasn’t his usual happy tone, no, this one was dark and twisted.

“I, I have to go.” I turned to walk out, but he grabbed my wrist and pulled me back down to the bed.

His fingers caressed their way up my arm and to my neck before tightly closing around it. “Listen to me Kogane, you have two options, you can play the rape victim and lose everyone who cares for you, because let’s face it you can’t tell Shiro about the party or he’s gonna lose it, or you could just keep your mouth shut and continue on being my boyfriend, and everything will stay the way it has the last year.”

His grip was starting to tighten further and I could just barely make out what I said, “Okay… I’ll stay… just please let me go.” His grip loosened and I was finally able to pull myself away. I coughed as I tried to catch my breath.

He stood up, pulling his pants up and buttoning them, “I should probably bring you home, it would be suspicious if I didn’t, right?”

We made our way past all of the drunk people that had also passed out before making it home and finally made it out of the front door. The chilly morning air felt good on my aching body, I just wanted to get home and crawl into bed, maybe cry myself to sleep.

I was skeptical of getting on the bike with him, but I guess if everything would just go back to the way things were before last night, then maybe I could get past it. I really did love James, and I know we had been talking about it for a while but was I really okay with how it happened.

Over the next couple of months things slowly progressed from bad to worse, James had been out drinking a lot more since the party and his flirting started to turn into anger, his kind words being replaced by the ones I had heard so many times throughout my time in the system. Burden, pain in the ass, nobody wants you. But the worst was yet to come.

The night outside his parent's house, was like the Titanic hitting the iceberg, everything came crashing down in a matter of minutes. I could hear him screaming things at me as he bashed my face into the ground, his mother screaming as his father pried him off of me, the pain in my shoulder followed by a warm drip, the sound of the ambulance and the police cars pulling up.

“The next thing I remembered, I was waking up in the hospital with IVs and wires hooked up to me, Shiro was a mess, and everyone kept asking me what happened.”  
Lance’s eyes were wider than they had ever been. He sat there on the floor with his mouth open.

“Lance, come on, talk to me, buddy.” I snapped my fingers in his face.

“How the hell am I supposed to respond to that, what am I even supposed to say to that?” He put his palm to his forehead.

“You were the one that wanted to know,” I yelled, okay calm down Keith, don’t get mad. “See this is why I don’t tell anyone anything because when I do, things get weird, and I don’t want things to be weird between us, but now they will be and I don…”

“KEITH!” His voice cut through mine like butter. “Calm down, I won’t get weird, I, I promise, as long as you promise to tell me if you ever make contact with him.”

Damnit, I was already lying to him about that, but I can’t tell him now, he’d run off to tell Shiro, and everything would fall apart. “I promise.”

He stood up and placed his hand on my left shoulder, his thumb caressing the scar that was left behind from that night. “Maybe I could start walking you to work, or maybe if we told the others we could…”

“You can’t tell anyone, Lance, you have to promise me no one, not even Hunk, will find out about this, and don’t you dare say a word to Shiro about my ribs either, he will jump to conclusions and someone will get hurt.” Lance was quiet as he pulled his hand away. “Lance, come on, promise me, Lance.”

“Okay, okay, I promise, dang Mullet, why do you have to be so secretive all the time?”

“Because, I don’t like reliving my past, and you just made me, so can I just take my shower now?” I got up and walked over to the bathtub leaning over and turning the water on.

“O-of course.” He turned to walk out.

“Hey Lance, thanks for listening, it’s definitely not an easy story to tell, but I’m glad it was you.” We both smiled as he closed the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for all of the support and wonderful comments! Love you all!!!


	11. Done

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance doesn't know how to process what he's learned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lance's POV

I closed the bathroom door, hearing the familiar sound of the lock clicking on the other side. I could hear the sound of the flow of the water change to the shower head, and the shower curtain closing. I collapsed against the wall across from the door, my body physically couldn’t leave that spot.

I put my face in my hands, I could feel the wetness of the tears as they began to fall across my cheeks. I wanted to scream, but I couldn’t make a sound. It was as if my mind had given up, and all I could do was cry.

“Lance?” Shiro’s voice came through my sobs. “Lance, what’s wrong?” I could feel his arms wrap around me.

“Why... how… how can he ignore something like that, how can he just forget and not talk about it, isn’t it worse to bottle everything up?” I cried.

Shiro pulled me up to a standing position, “So he told you, come on let’s get you to your room.” 

He helped me down the hall to my room where he dropped me onto my bed. “Lance, not everyone can cope in the same way, some like to bottle it up and others like to talk about it. Keith’s always been that way, I’m surprised he even told you, he doesn’t usually talk to anyone but me about it.”

“How could you let him go to that party, how did you not see the pain he was in?” I was starting to turn it on Shiro, I didn’t want to, but I was so damn angry.

He sighed, pain visibly taking over his face, “I wish I would have seen, I wish I would have known he was going to that party Lance, I almost lost him twice because of that damn kid.”

“What do you mean twice?”

“I… um well, he didn’t tell you about his tattoo?”

“You mean the one on his right arm, the dagger through the rose?”

“Yeah, it’s covering a scar, from a couple weeks after the party.” He looked down, a glimmer forming in the corner of his eye. “I walked in on him in the bathroom, fully clothed, sitting in the bathtub. I remember seeing the streak of red spreading through the bath water, the fear I felt when I saw him holding the knife to his other wrist…”

“Shiro… I, I had no idea.” I placed my hand on his shoulder.

He wiped the tears from his eyes just before they began to fall, “It’s fine, but if I ever get the chance to, I will kill that little shit, I can’t even imagine how I would have felt if he… if Keith would have…” He couldn’t finish his words, and honestly, I didn’t want him to. I didn’t want to think about what my life would be like if I’d never met Keith if I hadn’t challenged him that day at the arcade.

“Shiro, I think he might still be in trouble.” I wiped my own tears from my cheeks. “I feel like he isn’t going to tell us when things go wrong, and I’m afraid something really bad is going to happen to him.”

Shiro crossed his arms, “I feel it too, but what can I do if I don’t know what’s wrong if he won’t tell me.” He sighed, “I have to trust Keith that he will tell me if things get out of hand.”

I thought back to the bathroom, I thought about Keith’s bruised ribs, about him telling me to keep it quiet from Shiro. Do I tell him and risk Keith not talking to me, or do I keep it to myself and stay on his good side.

“Well, thanks for talking to me, Keith kind of just dropped a bomb on me and kicked me out.” I chuckled nervously.

“Yeah, that sounds like Keith, I hope he opens up to you more, he really needs someone other than me to talk to.” Shiro stood up and walked to the door, but he turned around before closing it. “Just watch him for me while I’m gone, he really needs someone to be his stability.” And with that, he closed the door.

There it was again, that word I’ve now heard from two people, stability, what does that even mean? How am I supposed to keep him stable when I can barely keep myself afloat.

I laid back looking up to the stars on my ceiling. The sun had disappeared behind the clouds sending my room into darkness, the glow of the stars putting my mind at ease. The sound of the rain pitter-pattering on my window filled the room, a loud boom shaking my bed.

“Lance, are you in here?” Nyma asked pushing the door open.

I sat up, quickly wiping my face with my shirt, “Yeah, what’s up babe?”

“I wanted to talk to you, I think it’s important.” It was never really a good thing when a girl told me they needed to talk, so I braced myself for the worst.

“Sure you can talk to me about anything.”

She sat down on the bed next to me, shifting her weight until she was leaning up against me. “Do you love me?”

If I would have had a drink to spit out I probably would have. “What do you mean, of course, I l-love you.” Did I, or was I just saying that, dammit I was confused.

“Well, if you love me, then why do I have to share you with Keith, he’s just always around and I feel like he’s everywhere we go. I mean if he hadn’t had to go to work today, then we wouldn’t have gone to the movies at all.”

“Woah, calm down, this is about what you were talking about in the morning, you’re not sharing me with Keith.” Maybe she was, maybe I did spend too much time with him, it’s just hard to change up my schedule when that’s been my life for the past five and a half years.

She crossed her arms, “I am, if you’re not at work, then you’re with him, where does that leave me?”

“Are you jealous of our friendship?” I wiggled my brows.

“Yeah, friendship.” She made the little air quotes with her fingers.

I stood up, pushing her off my lap. “What is that suppose to mean?”

“Oh, you are so oblivious, do you even know he’s gay?” She questioned.

“Of course I do, but what does that have to do with me?”

“I’m not spelling it out for you, you’re going to have to figure that out on your own, maybe just spend less time with him and more with me, that’s all I want.” She got up from the bed and walked over to me placing her hand on my chest. “Please baby, because you love me.”

“Okay, okay, I’ll try to spend more time with you, just the two of us.”

She smiled and walked back over to the bed flopping down with a thud. I pulled her up to the pillow and laid down facing her and closing my eyes.

~The next day~

I pulled on my baggy gray sweatpants and my blue long sleeve. It was dark and cloudy, making it colder than usual this time of year. I looked back at Nyma, still fast asleep, and decided to go scrounge through the kitchen for food.

When I walked in Pidge and Hunk were sitting at the table, both with a bowl of cereal, neither of them looking up from their phones. I grabbed the cereal and milk and poured myself a bowl.

I sat down at the table, slamming my bowl onto the table, “Ahem.” No response, both still deep into their phones. “Ahem.” Still nothing. “AHEM!”

“What do you want, Lance?” Pidge groaned finally setting her phone down on the table.

“Well, yesterday when I was talking to Nyma, she said something that kind of threw me off,” I said pushing my bowl to the side and leaning over the table.

Pidge smiled, “Which one, the fight last night or the one Keith was standing outside your room listening to?”

“It was last nig… wait did you say Keith was standing outside my room?” I remembered back to the fight I was having with Nyma yesterday, the one before the movies. She was mad that I was going to the arcade with Keith and... “Oh no, is that why he skipped out on the arcade yesterday?”

She shrugged her shoulders, “I don’t know.”

“Anyway, back to the thing Nyma said last night.” I had to change the subject. “We were talking about Keith…” Pidge groaned, “Rude, but I said friendship and then she said it back, but in like a sarcastic kind of way, when I asked her what she meant by it she brought up that he’s gay, and I just don’t see a connection there.”

Hunk looked up at Pidge from his phone, “We promised, don’t forget,” He said.

“Promised what, what are you two talking about?” I was lost.

She looked back at me and smiled, “Nothing, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

I looked at Hunk, “Huuuunk, buddy, pal of mine.”

“Don’t even try, I’m way more afraid of Keith’s wrath than yours.” His hands flew up over his mouth.

“Hunk!” Pidge yelled from across the table.

“Yep, and I’m leaving,” Hunk said getting up and running out of the kitchen.

Pidge didn’t say anything as she got up and strolled out of the kitchen, leaving me alone. I sat back in my chair, “What kind of promise did they make to Keith, and about our friendship at that,” I pulled my bowl back in front of me, “Man I live with a bunch of crazies.”

“Am I in that category.” I about spit out my cereal when I heard Keith’s voice from the entryway.

“Shit, Keith you can’t scare me like that.” I was hoping he had only heard that part and not the first part.

He laughed as he walked in and sat down across from me. His hair was pulled back messily, a few strands falling loosely onto his face and around his neck. His shirt fell carelessly from his shoulder, the scar seems a lot more visible to me, now that I knew who and where it was from. 

“You can take a picture if you want.”

My heart started to race, I can’t believe I was just staring at his scar, and he caught me. I turned away feeling the heat rising in my cheeks.

“I thought you said you weren’t going to be weird, I feel like you staring at my scar is you being weird.” I looked back at him. “I think I’m gonna go back to my room.”

“No, Keith wait!” I stood up, pushing my chair out and slammed my hands to the table. “I’m sorry, it won’t happen again, I’m just still trying to process it and I really want to ask more questions, but I said I wouldn’t be weird and now I’m pretty sure I’m being weird, so will you please stop me from talking right now…” Keith’s hand covered my mouth.

“Lance, calm down, I will answer one question IF you promise to tone it down a couple notches, deal?” I nodded and he dropped his hand.

I thought long and hard about this one, did I want to ask about the promise, or maybe if the fight with Nyma was the reason he bailed on me, or maybe… “Why did you leave THAT out of your story yesterday.” I was pointing to the scar under the flower and dagger tattoo.

He looked down to where I was pointing, “You mean my tattoo, that has nothing to do with the story, why would I tell you about that?”

“I’m not talking about the tattoo, Keith.” I glanced down at the scar, how had I never noticed the raised skin beneath the blade, it was practically screaming at me now.

“Who told you about that, was it Shiro, it had to have been Shiro.”

“What does it matter, stop changing the subject and tell me why you tried to kill yourself!” The room fell silent, Keith looking at me in horror, my own voice lost in the sea of words I just spit out.

“I… I have never really put it into words.” A darkness washed over him clouding the last bit of happiness on his face. “I was afraid, no terrified of what was going to happen, what if everything got out, what if Shiro… what if he didn’t want me anymore, what if I really did lose everything… in the end, I thought what if I were to just stop existing, maybe then I wouldn’t have to lose anyone but myself. Honestly, I felt like that was everyone’s best option, Shiro wouldn’t have to take care of me anymore, James could find someone better, and I wouldn’t have to be crying myself to sleep in my bed every night.”

I wanted to hug him, I wanted to bring him to the living room, wrap him in my fuzziest blanket, and cuddle him like a burrito until he felt better, but I didn’t do any of that. Instead what came out of my mouth was, “Are you an idiot?” Why, why would I say that, god I’m so dumb sometimes. “ What I meant was, you mean so much to Shiro, he was in tears in my room yesterday telling me about it…”

Keith interrupted me, “So it was Shiro, oh he’s gonna get it.”

“Keith! Quit playing around, this is serious, I don’t think you understand how much you mean to me… Shiro.” Why did I say me, what is happening to me right now? “ You are an amazing person and you need to get that through that thick Mullet.”

“I swear to god McClain, you just don’t give up on trash do you?” He blurted out.

“What the hell are you talking about?” We were practically screaming at each other at this point, I’m not sure how no one noticed yet.

He scoffed, “You know who I’m talking about, that pretty little blonde sleeping in your bed.”

“What is your problem with her, what are you jealous that I haven’t been spending every waking moment with you anymore,” Why was I fighting with him, what the hell was I doing, I was just so angry I couldn’t shut my mouth.

“That… that has nothing to do with why I don’t like her, but I can’t really tell you the real reason…”

“And there we go again, Keith can’t tell me something, what a big surprise,” I said waving my arms in the air dramatically. “You know what, you can just go shove it Kogane, I’m done babysitting you, have fun with your secret life.” His face tensed up, shit I went too far, but how do I take it back, how do I fix something like that.

He spoke, but calmly, almost too calm, “I get it, I knew this day would come, I’m sorry for wasting your time, Lance.” Before I could say anything to stop him he was gone.

Shiro came through the entryway moments after Keith had run out, “What the hell is going on in here, why is Keith storming off down the hall, what was all the screaming about?”

“I… I don’t want to talk about it, but you have to find someone else to be his stability or whatever, I can’t handle his attitude anymore.” I pushed past him and ran down the hall. I could hear him yelling for me, but I had to leave, I had to calm myself down somehow.

When I got to my room, I found Nyma laying in the bed, reading a book, in my t-shirt and a pair of green undies. She set her book down and looked up at me, “What’s up baby, where were you?”

“It doesn’t matter, can I just lay with you while you play with my hair or something?” I sulked over to her and threw myself onto the bed next to her.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

For the first time in my life, I didn’t want to talk about anything with her. I just wanted to go apologize to Keith, I wanted to take back everything I said, but I was still angry about his trash comment. Nyma was not trash, she was so nice, and I thought the two of them were getting along so well. I was so confused about everything and I just needed my brain to stop working for five seconds so I could figure something out.

Her fingers ran through my hair, “I’ll take that as a no, it’s okay, I’m sure whatever your mad about will all blow over soon.”

I closed my eyes, my body growing heavier, and drifted off into the darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please call an ambulance if you are having a heart attack, so sorry about this, see you next chapter!


	12. Moving Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pidge and Hunk try to get Lance and Keith to stop fighting, Keith helps Shiro move, and Lance talks to Allura at the castle of lions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We get three different POVs today!!!

~Pidge~

“Hunk, think, we have to figure out how to get those two to stop fighting,” I stressed. It had been two months since Keith and Lance had stopped talking, and frankly, they were both starting to get on my nerves.

Hunk was nervously running his fingers through his hair, “I know Pidge, but what can we do, this is all because of Nyma, I mean what does he even see in her, she’s not even that nice.”

Nyma was starting to get on everyone’s nerves, even Shiro was happy to be moving out today. “So what you’re saying is that we need to get rid of Nyma.”

“No, no, no, don’t do that, then Lance won’t talk to either of us.”

“Isn’t that what we want though?” I added.

“Well, yes, but not forever.”

I groaned, what can we do to get those two back together, it’s not like they didn’t want to stop fighting, that’s what they had been bugging us about the last two months, but they were just too stubborn to apologize to each other.

Hunk and I both looked at each other, our eyes sparkling with an idea so great it would have to get them to make up. “The arcade!”

We each wrote a note to one of the boys and snuck them into their rooms before Lance got home from work, and Keith got home from helping Shiro move. This was going to be the best plan we could come up with if this didn’t work nothing would.

~Keith~

It was moving day, I hated walking past my brother's room every day to see boxes stacking up along his back wall. I wanted nothing more than to tell him to stay, but he deserved to be happy, so I kept it all inside. Besides I had bigger problems to deal with. Lance hadn’t talked to me in two months, he was even staying at Nyma’s place ninety percent of the time to avoid me. I wish I could just apologize to him, but he’s such a baby about everything.

I walked down the hall to Shiro’s room, he was already up moving boxes out into the hallway. When I walked in he was scrambling around like the disaster he is, throwing the last couple of things into a box on his bed.

“Keith, thank god you’re here, please help me because I have no idea what I’m doing.” He looked a bit disheveled, his hair was a mess and he had bags under his eyes.

“Did you even sleep last night?” I asked.

He looked up at me, “Well, I mean I think I got like an hour or so in.”

I walked over to him and pulled him into a hug, I was a bit shorter than him so I just wrapped my arms around his chest. I could feel him squeezing tighter than he usually did, placing his chin on the top of my head. “I’m happy that you’re going to be happy, just make sure you visit often and call me every day.” I choked back my tears, I didn’t want to cry in front of him, not today.

“Keith, you idiot, of course, I will call you every day, this isn’t goodbye, you’re stuck with me forever little brother,” He cried.

We sat like that for a couple more minutes, before continuing the packing process. I started bringing boxes out to his car, it was still the same shitty car he had when we lived in our old house. I kept telling him to get a new one, but he said he didn’t need one until this one was dead.

About an hour later we finally had everything packed and we were ready to go. Shiro took one last look at his room before closing the door and heading down the hall.

Pidge and Hunk were standing in the living room as we passed through, both tearing up. “Do you really have to move out, I’m going to miss you so much.” Hunk said pulling him into one of his famous bear hugs.

“Hunk, I’m not going to be gone forever, I’ll still come visit, also you’re crushing me.”

Hunk let go and stepped back, “I’m sorry, I just get so emotional about these kinds of things.”

Pidge was next, wrapping her tiny arms around his waist, “Don’t wait too long to visit.”

“I won’t, I promise,” He said hugging her back.

We left the two of them in the living room and headed out to the car. It was a cold November day, the fresh snow on the ground crunching under my feet as I walked to the car, the wind blowing a breeze through the trees, rustling the branches.

We got into the car, Shiro starting it with a pop. He looked back at the house, then over to me. “Please take care of everyone for me, and try to stop fighting with Lance.”

“I can promise the first one, but the second is up to Lance, not me,” I said putting on my seatbelt.

“At least try.” He put the car in reverse, giving me a serious look before backing out of the driveway.

“Yeah, yeah,” I groaned crossing my arms and looking out the window.

It started to snow, the flakes dropping onto the window and melting instantly from the heat. The car slowly made its way through the streets, not many cars on the road today, seeing as it was a Saturday and no one wanted to be out after the blizzard we had last night. I was actually surprised Shiro still wanted to move his things today.

We pulled into the parking lot of the apartments, Adam was waiting in the lobby waving through the window. The other cars were still freshly covered in snow and the air had an eerie silence to it.

We got out slamming the doors and stretching our legs, the car ride took a bit longer than usual due to the snow. I looked around taking in a deep breath of the cool crisp air.

“You guys ready to do this?” Adam was pulling on his jacket as he walked across the parking lot to the car.

“I mean, not really, but I have to if I want all of my things out of my car.” Shiro chuckled. “But seriously, are you sure you’re ready for me to move in with you?”

“Takashi, we’ve been through this already, of course, I want you to move in with me, then we can sleep together every night.” He leaned in for a kiss.

“Eww, can you two not do that in front of me, I would like to keep my lunch IN my stomach.” I made a gagging noise and pretended to throw up in my hand.

“And we won’t have to listen to that either,” Shiro chuckled.

We started bringing boxes in, of course, it had to be on the top floor all the way at the end of the hallway, but we had to make do. The more I brought in, the heavier the boxes seemed to be getting. My arms were really starting to get tired at this point, thank god there were only a couple left.

Shiro told me to take a break while he and Adam took the last couple upstairs. I pulled my jacket down past my shoulders, the cold breeze actually feeling good on my hot skin. The wind whistled through the trees, blowing the light snow off the tops of the cars, creating a wall of white.

I decided to explore, I had never really spent much time outside of the apartment, usually only coming here for dinners or holidays. The sun was finally starting to break through the clouds as I walked across the parking lot to the edge of the woods behind the second apartment building. The trees sat still almost as if it was a painting and not real life, the eerie silence sending chills down my spine.

“Keith, I never thought I would see you in my part of town, and in my backyard of all places.” I froze when I heard that voice.

I whipped around, the air feeling heavy all of a sudden. “No, no, no, no, what are you doing here, what do you mean your backyard?”

James smiled back at me, “I live in this building right here.” He pointed to the big building just a couple yards away.

“That… you can’t… why are you everywhere, I just want this nightmare to be over, and I think it finally is, and then you just pop up out of nowhere. What do I do now, I can’t tell Shiro you live across the parking lot.” My mind was racing through possibilities and I couldn’t think of one good solution, they all ended in someone getting hurt.

“I can make it so he never sees me if you’re willing to make a deal with me that is.” His smile grew larger.

“Wh-what kind of… deal?” I stuttered I was terrified to hear the answer.

He chuckled, “I want you to be my boyfriend.”

“Hell no, no way, that’s not happening.” I couldn’t do that, I couldn’t even stand to be around him, let alone date him.

“Well then, maybe I should just go over there and say hi now, you can bet your sweet ass that fight will be over quick.” He pulled out a switchblade, the metal shining in the sunlight.

I panicked, dropping to my knees in the snow, “Okay,” I whispered. “Okay, I’ll, I’ll be your b-boyfriend, just please don’t hurt him, he’s all I have.” I was begging on my knees in the snow, my heart beating faster than it ever had.

He bent down next to me, his hand resting on my chin and pulling it up until my eyes met his. “That’s what I thought, baby.” That name made my stomach churn, I can’t believe I agreed to this, but I had to.

He stood back up, lending his hand to help me up. “Now, I want you to text Shiro and tell him you found a ride home, I’ll bring you home in my car.”

“That’s n-not necessary, I will just have one of my friends come to pick me up.”

“Which one, Hunk, Pidge… or Lance?” He said Lance’s name through gritted teeth, his smile fading slightly. “I will bring you home, text him now.”

I nodded nervously, pulling my phone out and pulling up my messages.

K: Hey Shiro, I ran into an old friend, they’re going to give me a ride home, I figured you two would want to celebrate without a distraction tonight.  
Typing… typing… typing...  
S: Are you sure, we had a whole dinner planned and everything, and what friend is this?  
S: Keith?  
S: ???  
S: Keith, answer your damn phone.

I Shut my phone off, I knew he was going to be worried, but I would just text him when I got home. I put my phone in my back pocket and looked back up at James. “Let’s go before he comes out looking for me.”

I reluctantly followed him to his car, which happened to be cleaned off already. I must not have seen him when I walked by before because of all the snow drift. I didn’t want to get in it, I hated that it was flashy, it was perfect for him. My heart dropped when I opened the door. I could run right now, I could warn Shiro before James got to him, I could stop all of this if I could just muster up the courage to run. I can’t do it. I climbed into the car and closed the door to freedom with a thud.

The car ride back to the house was mostly quiet, the sound of the radio playing in the background. I looked out the window, snow-covered houses flying past as we flew down the empty road, the roads had been plowed a lot more than my first trip there. A song came on the radio and it sent me into a daze.

♪ The book of love is long and boring  
No one can lift the damn thing  
It’s full of charts and facts and figures  
And instructions for dancing  
But I, I love it when you read to me  
And you, you can read me anything ♪

“Listen, babe, it’s our song, I remember giving you shit for picking this one, but it’s grown on me over the last few years.” James’ voice cut through haze, pulling me back to reality.

“I, I need to get out, I can’t… I… I need you to stop the car for a minute.” I grabbed at the door handle as the car skidded to a halt. I threw myself onto the ground, there went my lunch after all. That song, I couldn’t listen to that song. Waves of memories and emotions washed over me, my body growing week to the point where I just laid down in the snow. I closed my eyes, choking back tears as I heard a soft voice.

“I’m so sorry, I never meant to hurt you like this.” James was kneeling over me, his eyes wide. He wrapped his arms around me, squeezing me tight. He was so warm, and he smelled amazing, just like I remembered. I didn’t want to hug him back, but it had been so long since I had been hugged like this by someone other than my brother, and I missed the feeling of his arms wrapped around me.

“I hate you so much, you’re the reason I’m like this, the reason I haven’t been able to properly hold a relationship, the reason I can’t live a normal life… because I missed you, the you before everything went wrong, I miss that James, and I want him back,” I cried into his shoulder.

He pulled me back until I could see his face, his forehead resting on mine. “Keith, I promise things will be different this time, just give me a chance to make this up to you.”

“I, I just don’t know if... I can’t just forget the past.” I looked away, his eyes were piercing my very soul.

He picked me up, holding me until I could get my balance. He helped me back to the car, not saying a word as he gently placed me in the passenger seat.

The rest of the ride was back to silence, the aura had changed from bad to weird, I couldn’t tell what I was feeling, the more I sat in this car with him, the more I began to remember everything we had been through, good and bad. Why was I not hating him right now, what was going through my head, that I couldn’t bring myself to leave right now, to jump out of the car and run for it?

I thought back to the deal we made back at the apartments. I couldn’t let anything happen to Shiro, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if something happened to him. I will do this for him, I can handle this for a little bit longer, it’s no problem as long as things don’t get bad again I should be fine.

We made it back to the house, the familiar glow of the TV through the window suggesting the others were home, or at least Pidge and Hunk. I pulled myself out of the car, the cold snapping me back to reality.

James leaned over the center console, “I’ll be picking you up every night around seven at the gas station down the road from the arcade, make sure you’re there on time everyday or there will be consequences.”

“I’ll be there, don’t worry,” I grumbled closing the door.

He rolled the window down, “I’m gonna keep saying this until you say it back, I love you, babe!”

I turned away and walked into the house. Pidge was sitting on the floor inches from the TV screen, playing that game Lance had bought a couple months ago, with all the fighting we never really got to play it that much. Hunk was laying on the couch facing the TV, stuffing his face with the leftover cinnamon buns Lance had brought over the day before.

“Oh, hey Keith,” Hunk said sadly.

“You doing okay buddy?” I asked sitting in the chair next to him.

He sighed, “I just miss Shiro, and Lance has been gone a lot, and the two of you have been ignoring each other which makes me sad and I just…”

“Woah, Hunk calm down, I’m sorry if Lance and I fighting made you sad, but I can’t fix what happened, Lance has to want to apologize, just as much as I do, otherwise it will be a very one-sided conversation.”

“I know, I just miss hanging out with both of you, you two just aren’t the same when you’re not together.” He sat up. “Just think about it.”

I had been thinking about it, I wanted nothing more than to talk to that sweet Cuban boy down the hall. All of those times I ran into him in the kitchen or in the living room I could have talked to him, I could have told him I was sorry, but I didn’t want to burden him with my problems anymore, so I kept quiet. “Of course, I’ll think about it.”

I got up and headed to my room, the door creaking open as I walked in. I clicked on the flashlight on my phone and laid it on my bed. I sat down, pulling off my boots and socks, I should probably change all of my clothes, I did lay in the snow. I peeled my wet shirt off and threw it next to the desk in the corner. I noticed a piece of paper lying on the desk, one I hadn’t seen before.

I got up to read it, the handwriting maybe not the best, but it said, “Meet me at the arcade tomorrow at noon -P”

~Lance~

Ugh, I hated that I had to work the day Shiro moved out, I was even willing to be there with Keith just to say goodbye. I have been wanting to apologize, but he just keeps ignoring me and it makes me so angry.

It was such a slow night tonight, because of the blizzard the previous day, the only ones there were the die-hard drunks. I pretty much just sat and talked with Allura the whole time.

“No, but like listen, he told me that Nyma was trash,” I argued.

“Is that really why you haven’t talked to your best friend in two months. Here, I’ll settle this debate right now, Lonce, she’s total trash.”

“She really is.” One of the drunks chimed in.

“Oh, Shut it, Kolivan, you have no idea what you’re talking about.” I turned back to Allura. “Why would you say she’s trash?”

She groaned, she hated when I whined to her about girl problems, I mean I get it she has her own to deal with, but she was the only one that gave good advice. “You never see her when you’re not around, she’s not the same person.”

“What! You’re crazy, there’s no way she changes that much when I’m not around.” I brushed it off, filling a drink for myself.

“Whatever, if you don’t want my advice, then stop asking me for it.” She whipped her long silver hair in my face, “But if you do want my advice, then you need to talk to Keith, he really seems to like you, and he usually tolerates you better than anyone else.”

“Ugh, I never should have said anything, I knew this was going to turn out this way, it was the same with Hunk and Pidge.” I slammed my drink in one gulp, the cinnamon leaving a good burn in the back of my throat.

Coran came from the back, half of his mustache looked like it had been electrocuted. “Apparently, you don’t stick a spatula in the back of the stove to rehook electrical wires, oh and Lance, you can leave early today, not like we need two people tending the bar tonight.”

“Okay, thanks, Coran.” I set down my glass and headed out. My head was a little fuzzy, but one drink wouldn’t affect me that much.

I grabbed my bag from the back and headed out to my car. I bundle up extra tight today, the cold was much less forgiving after the storm. I pried open my door and climbed in, I wish I would have known ahead of time I was leaving early, I could have started my car and been warm right now.

It was a long slow drive back to the house, the snow was starting to slick over into ice in the night. The radio was static, but I was so focused on the road I never changed it.

I finally pulled into the driveway at home, Shiro’s spot was empty which made me sad. I could see the glimmer of the TV shining through the living room window. Maybe it’s Keith, Maybe I should talk to him tonight, I could try figuring things out. No, I’ll let him make the first move.

I walked in to find Hunk Sitting on the couch, looking a bit upset, and Pidge laying on the floor playing the video game I bought a couple months ago. I walked over and sat down next to Hunk on the couch.

“So, how was Shiro’s going away thing?” I asked.

“It was, meh,” Pidge replied. “But hey, Keith helped him so he was in good hands.”

“Yeah Keith,” I grumbled.

Pidge paused the game and sat up, “Look, you two need to get over this stupid feud and go back to being best friends, or so help me I will throw all of my shoes at you.” She waved her slipper through the air menacingly.

“Anything but the shoes, I’ll talk to him, when he’s ready to talk to me,” I added, causing her to toss the slipper in my direction, I dodged it and ran out of the living room.

I made my way down the hall to my room, walking through the door and flicking on the lights. I threw my bag in the corner and walked over to my desk, looking down I noticed a piece of paper that wasn’t there when I left this afternoon. I opened it and it read, “Lance, meet me at the arcade tomorrow at noon -H”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Y'all, I'm back, I've been super busy but I hope you like this chapter. If you want, I drew a picture of Keith's tattoo on my Instagram it's @animefangirl823. I just want to say I love all of your comments and love thank you!!!


	13. Arcade Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith and Lance get tricked into going to the arcade together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith and Lance's POVs

I made my way to the kitchen, rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I hadn’t really gotten much last night. I had seven missed calls from Shiro that I wasn’t ready to answer yet, and a message from James, he must have gotten my number from Nyma.

J: Don’t forget about our meeting tonight, I love you!

I didn’t want to answer, I just wanted to eat and forget about everything that had happened yesterday. The kitchen was empty, Hunk must have been at work and Pidge had probably left for the arcade already. I sat down with a bowl of cereal, I didn’t want to take a chance of burning the house down with my cooking skills.

I pulled my shirt back up over my shoulder, it was a bit nippy in the kitchen this morning, Pidge must have turned the heat down. How that little gremlin gets so hot I’ll never know. I smelled something familiar in the air, it smelled like the ocean on a hot summer day, it had to be him. Should I go hide in my room, or do I stay and talk.

Lance sleepily made his way into the kitchen, hair still a mess, “Morning.”

Did he just talk to me, that’s the first thing he’s said to me in two months and he goes with morning, try to stay calm, don’t start another fight. “Morning.”

He looked over at me, our eyes meeting for just a second before I looked down at my bowl. He didn’t speak much after that, maybe he thought I was Pidge or Hunk when he said morning, maybe he wasn’t talking to me still. I wanted to leave, it was so awkward I couldn’t take it anymore.

“Have a good day!” I smiled and walked out.

When I got back to my room I closed my door and leaned up against it with a thud. I can’t believe I finally talked to him, but I ran away like I always do, what is wrong with me. I ran my fingers through my hair, maybe I should put it back today, Lance always used to tell me he liked it better up, he could see my whole face when it was like that.

I walked over to my desk and grabbed out one of my hair ties, pulling my hair up into a messy bun. It was really starting to get long, I should probably get it cut one of these days, it was starting to reach down past my shoulders.

I looked at my phone to see what time it was, it was 11:30. I wanted to leave now because I was going to be walking to get there and I didn’t want to keep Pidge waiting any longer than she already had. I grabbed my phone and shoved it into my back pocket, and grabbed my house keys slipping the lanyard around my neck.

As I made my way out I noticed Lance throwing on his Jacket and boots, He must be heading over to Nymas for the day, I didn’t blame him, I wouldn’t want to sit around the house with me either.

It was much warmer today than it was yesterday, but don’t get me wrong, it was still cold as all hell. I tried warming my hand, I guess fingerless gloves aren’t the best gloves for these blustery winter days. There were a lot more cars on the road today, everyone must have calmed down about the snowfall.

My feet were just starting to get numb as I walked up to the doors of the arcade. I swore I saw Lance’s car, but I’m sure it’s just a coincidence. I opened the door and walked in.

“About time Hunk, I’ve been waiting for…” Lance was climbing out of the booth closest to the door. “Wait, what are you doing here?”

“I, I don’t know, I was supposed to be meeting Pidge here, she left a note on my desk last night,” I said confused.

“Well, I got one from Hunk last night that said to meet him here at noon.” Lance crossed his arms and looked away.

Both of our phones went off at the same time, it was a group message from Pidge.

P: By now you two have probably figured out that Hunk and I are not there, we would like you two to take some time to figure out why you’re fighting, and why you became friends in the first place. We love you both, but this stupid feud needs to end before I beat you both senseless.  
H: Yeah, sorry Lance, you’re my buddy, but I need you to make up with Keith.  
Lance began typing furiously.  
L: You two are so going to get it when I get home.

“Is it really that bad to hang out with me?” I snapped, shoving my phone back in my back pocket. “Do you really hate me that much that you can’t even spend an hour with me, you know what forget it, I’m leaving.” I turned around to walk out but a hand wrapped around my wrist.

“Keith, I don’t hate you, why would you say that I thought you hated me.” He pulled me back around so I was facing him, I quickly dropped my gaze to the floor. I didn’t want to look into those ocean blue eyes, I didn’t want to fall back in love with him.

“I have never hated you, Lance, you were the one that said you didn’t want to be my babysitter anymore, so I’ll leave and you can go spend the day with Nyma.” My chest hurt, my breathing becoming deeper, I hated thinking about the two of them together.

Lance pulled me into a hug, he squeezed me so tight I could barely breathe. “I’m so sorry I said that I, I never meant any of it, please forgive me.” I could feel the warmth of his body taking over, the smell of his cologne driving me wild, I wanted so badly to pull away and kiss him, to feel his soft lips pressed against mine.

My phone went off again, was it Pidge or Hunk, maybe Shiro trying to get a hold of me from last night still. I pulled it out and clicked it on, I saw the name and immediately shut it off before Lance looked. I had enough time to read the message.

J: I hope you have a good day at the arcade.

He knew I was here? He had to have followed me from the house. Did that mean he just watched me hug Lance, was he watching me right now? I looked around the arcade and out through the windows, but I didn’t see him anywhere.

“Is everything okay buddy?” Lance asked.

“Y-yeah, no need to worry, let’s go hit up some games, yeah?” I faked a smile, knowing damn well Lance wasn’t going to drop it if he thought something was wrong.

Over the course of the next several hours, we played almost every game in the arcade at least once, saving the usual for last. We headed over placing our coin cups on the table behind the DDR machine. Lance was the first to make it over as I set my keys and phone down at the table as well.

Lance smiled as he offered up his hand to help me up onto the platform, I took it with a snort, he was being such a dork, but I was just happy we could do this again. We laughed and danced for the next half hour, playing all of our usuals and some new ones we hadn’t tried. The smile on his face was intoxicating, the way he moved his hips along with the music sent me into a trance.

My phone alarm went off, which was weird because I didn’t remember setting an alarm last night. I stepped down to check it and it just said, “Don’t forget.” I looked at the time, it was 6:57. Shit, I had to be at the gas station in three minutes.

I scrambled to grab my keys from the table and ran out. I was so lost in the moment, I had forgotten to say goodbye to Lance as I bolted out the door and into the cold November streets.

I ran as fast as I could, through the snow, down the city blocks until I reached the gas station. I pulled out my phone and clicked it on, it was 7:01.

James’ car was sitting at pump number five, I could just barely make out his shadow through the tinted windows. I hope he can forgive me for being a minute late. I headed over opening the door and dropping myself into the warm leather seat.

“You must have been having fun, you’re a little late.” He said through gritted teeth.

“I’m sorry, I totally lost track of time, but I made it only a minute late,” I said slipping my keys back around my neck.

He leaned over grabbing my cheeks tightly in his hand, “Do it again and I won’t be as forgiving next time.” He pressed his lips to mine before letting go completely. “Now, for tonight we will be going to a party at a friends house.”

“Y-you know I hate parties.”

“Yes, but if this is going to work, then we will both have to make sacrifices.” He started the car and put it into drive. “Now let’s go before everyone starts wondering where we are.”

~Lance~

Keith and I were having so much fun, it was the first time in a long time I had felt like this. Things weren’t exactly going that great with Nyma, she just seemed so distant when I was with her. So it was kind of nice to get out of the house and play some arcade games, especially now that I had my dancing partner back.

We finally made it to the DDR machine, the one thing I’ve wanted to do this whole day. Keith was still over by the table putting his keys and phone on it before we started. As he walked back over to the machine I offered him my hand with a smile. He blushed as he took my hand and stepped up onto the platform.

The songs played through, the entire time I was having a blast. Everything was finally going to be normal again, now that I had Keith back. Why did my heart skip a beat every time he smiled at me, every time his eyes met mine? The way he danced around, and the way he laughed at my stupid jokes.

His phone went off, it sounded like an alarm or something, did he have somewhere to go, something to do? He ran off the platform and over to the table, but when he looked at his phone his eyes grew large.

“Keith, Keith what’s wrong, is everything okay?” It was like he couldn’t hear me like my words just went right over his head.

He grabbed his keys and ran out of the arcade, not saying a word. I chased after him, I had to catch up to him, but why was he so damn fast. He started to pull on me, slowly disappearing into the darkness. I had to stop, I couldn’t breathe anymore.

I looked through the street trying to catch any sign of him, and that’s when I saw it. A flashy orange car parked at the gas station on the corner and the familiar raven-haired boy I had been following. He opened the door to the car and got in, I could just barely make out the shadows of the boys through the tinted window, but it looked like they were kissing.

The car roared to a start and pulled out, the driver window down as they passed by, the boy in the driver's seat made eye contact with me, with a creepy smile. Did he know me and how did he know Keith? Had it really been that long, that I didn’t know Keith had a boyfriend, and why wouldn’t someone tell me?

I made my way back to the arcade and grabbed my things, before heading home for the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my, things are starting to get a bit out of hand. What will Keith do, tell someone, or keep it to himself until it blows up?


	14. I Just Want to Forget

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance has dinner at Shiro's and finds out who the guy in the car might be, while Keith is late to another meeting with James.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lance then Keith

~Lance~

I headed over to Shiro’s for the day, it had been two weeks since he moved out, and I had only talked to him on the phone. I tried to get Keith to come with me, but he said he had something important to do at seven, so he couldn’t come. He had been leaving every night around the same time, probably to go meet up with that brown-haired kid from the night of the arcade. I still never figured out why he ran off that night, I tried to ask, but he kept telling me to drop it.

Shiro and Adam were both home today, so Adam decided to make dinner, it would probably go smoother if he did it vs Shiro, Shiro was just too much of a disaster sometimes. I sat at the table with him chatting about things that he had missed since he moved out.

“Pidge’s boyfriend is really cool, and he likes video games, which is awesome, umm, I saw Hunk and Shay kissing so that must be going well,” I said with a smile.

“That’s awesome, have you and Keith been doing alright since you stopped fighting?” Shiro leaned across the table.

I looked down at the empty plate in front of me. “Yeah, but he’s been acting weird.”

“What do you mean… weird?”

“Well, the night at the arcade he just ran off without saying a word, and then I saw him with this guy, and now he’s been like, leaving every night at the same time, and he always looks panicky, like if he’s late it’s the end of the world…” 

“Did you say, guy? Did you get a look at him, could you see his face or anything?”

I thought back to that night, standing there in the cold as the two drove off in that flashy car, the way the guy in the driver’s seat looked at me with that creepy smile. “I, I think… he had like short brown hair, and these intensely grey-blue eyes, he looked really intimidating.”

Shiro sat frozen in his chair, his jaw-dropping, gaze falling to the table. I waved my hand in his face, “Shiro… Shiro answer me, are you okay you look like you just saw a ghost?”

He stood up suddenly, leaning across the table and grabbing me by the shoulders. “Lance, I’m not sure about this, but I’m pretty sure the guy you just described is James, I need you to talk to Keith, I need you to tell him whatever he’s doing is only going to get him hurt,” He cried, a slight glisten forming in the corners of his eyes.

“W-what do you mean, Keith wouldn’t get back with James, not after what he did to him… r-right? Tell me Keith isn’t that dumb!” I was in denial, now that Shiro said it I could see the resemblance from the story, the brown hair, the grey-blue eyes, oh god.

Adam came running from the kitchen, “What is all the yelling?”

Shiro turned to him letting go of my shoulders, “Uh, nothing, it’s nothing you need to worry about, I’ve got it under control now.” He looked back at me, “Right Lance?”

“Y-yeah, totally under control, no more yelling, sorry.”

Adam squinted his eyes before disappearing back into the kitchen. Shiro turned back to me and in a whispered voice he said, “Please talk to him, something is definitely wrong with this situation, if it IS James, he could be holding something over Keith. Please Lance, I really need you, because he won’t listen to me.”

I couldn’t think straight, it was hard to get out a coherent sentence, “I… of course… talk to him… I can do.” 

Adam came back out and Shiro went back to pretending nothing was wrong. He had just learned his brother was probably in the worst situation possible and he was talking and laughing like normal. How could he hide that pain so well?

We finished dinner, I was pretty quiet the whole time, so I could see why Adam was staring at me suspiciously. The sound of their laughter and their friendly conversations were like white noise, just crackling in the background of my thoughts. I wanted to run home right now, I wanted to talk to Keith, to tell him to stop being so stupid, to stay away from the toxic relationship, or whatever it was and stay with me… Why did I say me? I meant all of us, Pidge, Hunk, and Shiro, right?

“Lance!” Shiro’s voice finally pierced through.

“What, huh?” I shook my head, pulling myself from my thoughts.

“I asked you if you wanted to stay and watch this movie?” Adam said with his head tilted slightly to the right.

“O-oh, um, I think I’m gonna get going, I have some business to tend to.” I looked down at my phone, it was 5:45, if I left now I could make it home before Keith left again, maybe I could stop him from leaving altogether.

“Okay, let me walk you out,” Shiro said standing up and walking over to grab his coat.

We walked out to my car, Shiro was pretty quiet the way down, neither of us really wanted to talk about it. But I couldn’t take the silence, it was so awkward I just had to say something.

“I’m hoping I can stop him tonight,” I blurted out.

“What?” Shiro stopped and turned around to face me.

“Keith, he always leaves at 6:30 every night, so I’m hoping I can make it home in time to talk him out of going,” I said more confidently this time around.

Shiro pulled me into a tight hug, “Thank you, Lance. I can't lose him."

He let go and we continued the walk across the parking lot. I hugged him one more time before getting into my car and taking off.

I sped through the city streets, the glow of the street lights mixed with my headlights was the only thing lighting my way, as I pushed my car to its limits. I had to make it home, I had to get to Keith before he left, I had to stop him from going and getting hurt. The snow began to fall, the flakes getting bigger and bigger the closer I got to home. I had to slow down, I wanted to get home, but if I got into an accident I wouldn’t make it home at all.

I finally pulled down our street, the house coming into view, I had never been so happy to be home. I pulled into the driveway looking down at my clock, 6:29, I made it with a minute to spare.

Keith stepped out of the house as I walked up the path. Our eyes met as he turned around, they widened, a blush spreading across his cheeks before he looked away. I slowly walked up to him, the snow falling heavily from above, coating everything like a blanket.

“Keith, we need to talk,” I said, finally reaching him.

“I, I can’t talk right now Lance, I have to go.” He tried to step past me.

I put my arm out, “Go where, where are you going every night at this time, and who are you going with?” I pushed him back, our eyes meeting again for another brief moment before he looked down again. “Is it James, was he the one who picked you up at the gas station the night of the arcade?”

“You followed me, what the hell Lance,” He yelled.

“Stop evading the question, are you going to see James?” I hated that he wouldn’t give me a straight answer. I wanted him to tell me it was something else, anything but James, that’s all I wanted to hear.

“Lance, if you don’t let me leave now, then something bad is going to happen, and I’m not going to be able to deal with these consequences.” He cried. 

He tried to run past me, but I caught him again, this time wrapping my arms around his chest and placing my forehead on his back. “I’m not going to let you go until you tell me the truth, is it James or not.”

“I… I…” He was slowly crumbling into my arms. “I can’t bring you into this, I’m already protecting Shiro, I can’t let you get involved too.” He broke free from my grip and began to run. I tried to catch up, but like the night at the arcade, he was just too fast for me.

I lost all sight of him and my body was giving up on me. What was I supposed to do at that point, how was I going to fix this, what did he mean when he said he was already protecting Shiro? I fell to my knees crying, I couldn’t believe I lost him, I wanted so badly to know where he was going, I wanted to know who he was with, but I felt like I wouldn’t like the answer.

~Keith~

I made my way out of the house, making sure to lock it since no one else was home. When I turned around my eyes met Lances'. They shimmered in the glow of the moonlight. I blushed, why did I blush, he’s going to think I’m weird.

“Keith, we need to talk.” He looked serious.

I couldn’t talk right now, I only had a half hour to make it to the gas station before James got mad. I tried to tell him I couldn’t talk, I tried to walk past him, but he pushed me back. He asked me if I was going to see James, he told me he saw us leave together the night at the arcade.

“You followed me, what the hell Lance!” I yelled.

He asked about James again. What was I supposed to tell him, that I was going out with the ex that almost killed me, just so he wouldn’t kill my brother? Yeah, that would go over well.

I tried to make a break for it, I thought if I could just make it past him, I could run faster than him and get away. But he grabbed me again, this time wrapping his arms around my chest, locking his fingers together.

“I’m not going to let you go until you tell me the truth, is it James or not?” His voice was softer, more subtle than it had been just moments ago. 

I could see the time flash on my phone in my hand, it had already been ten minutes, I was for sure going to be late tonight. I crumbled for a moment, losing all control of my body as I realized if I didn’t show up Shiro would be in danger.

“I… I…” I could hardly put two words together trying to think of something to tell him. There was no other way. “I can’t bring you into this, I’m already protecting Shiro, I can’t let you get involved.” I broke free from his grasp and ran as fast as I could. I could hear him chasing me, but his footsteps got further away until they stopped completely.

I could finally slow down, catching my breath as I made my way through the icy streets, but I still had to move quickly if I wanted to make it there even remotely close to seven. I could see the snowflakes sticking to my hair and eyelashes, feel it melting as it hit my bare cheeks, the cold took over my body.

The gas station came into view, James’ car visible in the parking lot, I guess that was one good thing about having a flashy car. I ran the rest of the way, I was already five minutes late thanks to Lance.

“Where the hell have you been?” He snapped when I opened the door.

“I’m sorry, I was on my way out, but Lance was trying to talk to me, they're starting to get suspicious of me leaving at the same time every night.” I was trying to save my ass, hoping he would give me a break.

He leaned over kissing me on the cheek and whispered into my ear, “Maybe I’ll have to get rid of loverboy after all.”

“NO!” I yelled pulling away, “You can’t touch him, you hurt him and this is over, you will never see me again.”

He scoffed, “Do you really think you’re in a position to make deals right now?”

“This isn’t a deal if you hurt him I’m gone.” I crossed my arms.

“How about, I won’t hurt him, and you won’t leave, as long as you do something for me tonight.”

“What do you want me to do?” I was afraid of his answer, I really didn’t want to hear it, but goddamnit I couldn’t let him hurt Lance. He whispered it into my ear, sending chills down my spine.

He pulled away and started the car. The car began to move and everything seemed to melt around me. I just wanted to get out, I didn’t want to make it to our destination, I wanted so badly to hide inside my mind over the next couple of hours.

He pulled into the parking lot of the apartments, I could run now, Shiro is just across the parking lot, if I could just make it across, I could tell him everything. Instead, my body followed James to his building, up the stairs to the second floor, and down the hall to the second to the last door on the right, his apartment.

I hadn’t actually been inside yet, we had mainly just been going out to parties or eating out across town. It was bigger than I expected, the living room nicely decorated with a white couch sitting in the middle. Pictures were hung along the wall, family and friends, vacations he had gone on long ago, but the one on the very end… was of me. I was laughing and blushing like an idiot, my hair carelessly falling into my face.

“Why do you have this?” I pointed to the picture.

He smiled, “Because you look so cute in it.”

“I look like an idiot, take it down.”

“I’m never taking this down, besides, now that you’re mine again, I’m going to have to start taking more pictures of you like I used to.” He pulled out his phone and snapped a pic.

I threw my hands up trying to cover my face, “Can we not start that up again.” I laughed a little, these were the things I missed between us, not the fake awkward party dates, it was the staying at home and laughing about stupid things that I wanted so badly. “Do you have anything to drink, I feel like I need to drink, it’s been so long.”

“Of course, I’ve got just the thing for your taste too.” He walked off into the kitchen, coming back with two shot glasses and a bottle of some cinnamon something or other. “Shall we?”

I knocked back quite a few, hoping that I could get myself drunk enough to the point where I didn’t remember this night, and it worked. After the drinks in the living room, the most I remembered was being in his bedroom, then I woke up in his car for a minute, he must have been taking me home. Then I remembered walking down the hallway at the house and flopping into bed, it seemed fluffier then I remembered, but I wasn't complaining, it felt warm.


	15. Is It Too Late?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone ends up in Lance's bed and it's not who it should be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lance then Keith

~Lance~

I couldn’t sleep, I had Keith on my mind. I hope he’s okay, I hope he comes home safe tonight, I hope nothing bad is happening. I thought about him lying dead somewhere in the ditch.

“AAGH, dammit!” I sat up, ripping my eye mask off and throwing it onto my nightstand. “Why couldn’t I just run faster,” I cried into my sleeve. “I really hope you’re okay Keith.”

Suddenly my door opened. For some reason, I felt the need to pretend I was asleep. Was it Nyma, she did like to come over late after a party or when she had been out drinking late, it was about the only time I spent with her lately. The footsteps made their way across the hardwood floor, they sounded a bit heavy to be Nyma’s, but maybe she was just that drunk tonight. I felt the shift in the mattress when she laid down, rolling over so she was pressed against my back.

“What are you doing here Nyma, I thought you weren’t coming over until morning?” I finally spoke.

No answer, but a small kiss on my left shoulder made my hair stand on end. A hand slipped around my waist and up my shirt, caressing it’s way up my abs to my chest. I let out a small moan, it had been a while since she touched me like this. The next kiss was to my neck, the one spot that drives me insane, but her hair fell much shorter than usual, had she cut her hair, or maybe she had it pinned up that way. Another kiss on my neck, causing another soft moan to escape my lips. What happened next was not even close to what I was expecting.

The hand from beneath my shirt moved up to my cheek, it was not a small girly hand, no this hand definitely belonged to someone else. Lips pressed against mine, the warmth seemed all too familiar, sending me back to the night Pidge and Keith got drunk at the castle of lions. I finally opened my eyes to find Keith, now straddling my hips, I could smell the stench of alcohol take over me. He was wasted, probably blacking out again.

I pushed him off, “Keith, what the hell man?” I sat up, turning the light next to my bed on. He rolled off me and curled into a ball, shaking so badly I could actually feel the vibration through the bed. I stretched out my hand, letting it carefully touch his shoulder. “Keith, buddy, you okay?”

“I-I’m so sorry, I sh-shouldn’t have come in here, I just… I had the worst night ever, and, and I thought maybe if I came here, I could, I could…” His shaking became more intense, his voice cracking through his drunken rambles.

I wanted to hug him, to wrap my arms around him and never let go. I didn’t know what was making him feel this way, but I wanted to make it all go away if I could. I pulled him close, feeling his fingers intertwine with mine, and held him like that.

“Lance?” He finally spoke again, so quietly I almost couldn’t hear him. “I… I love you.”

I wasn’t quite sure I heard that right, did he just say he loved me. “What?”

“Don’t listen to sober me, he’s going to deny it because he’s scared, but he really does love you, or I really love you, dammit I think I drank too much.” 

I pulled away, I was confused, lost for words, was it true, do I believe him even though he’s drunk, and what did he mean scared? “Keith, what are you talking about, what do you mean you love me?”

“God, you can be so thick sometimes, just forget it.” He tried to roll off the bed but hit the ground with a thud.

“Keith!” I scrambled to my feet and ran around the bed to help him up.

“I can’t even get off the bed right, what is wrong with me?” He was laughing, god drunk Keith was a mess.

I laughed as I pulled him to his feet and flopped him back on the bed. “Nothing’s wrong with you, why would you say that?”

“Because I can’t even tell people when I really need help.” I fell silent, thinking back to earlier that night, out on the front step as the snow fell, how he said he was already protecting Shiro.

“Do you need help, are you in trouble Keith?” I grabbed him by the shoulders and sat him up so I could see his face. Tears were already streaming down his cheeks, his breathing becoming ragged.

“Lance I… I never wanted you to get involved, that’s why I kept everything from you, but now it’s too late and if I don’t do everything he says, I’ll lose everyone that I care about.” The air became heavy, his head coming to rest on my chest. “I can’t lose the only person in this world that makes me happy, that makes me forget all of my pain and suffering. I refuse to lose the person I love more than anything in the world.”

I definitely heard it that time, there was no mistaking the words he uttered from his mouth. “Keith, I…”

“Don’t, just don’t, I don’t want to hear your rejection right now.” He pulled away, laying himself back onto the bed. “I just wanted to tell you that before it was too late, I don’t know how long I’ll be able to keep him happy enough to keep me around, once that’s over…”

I laid down on the bed next to him, our hands touched and he tried to pull away but I grabbed it and laced my fingers in his. “Keith, I need you to tell me who that guy is, I want to hear his name from your lips, tell me who’s got you so afraid.”

“James.”

That name uttered so softly, drove a dagger through my heart. “Keith, why? Why would you go back to him, what made you think that was a good idea?”

“I didn’t have a choice, he threatened to kill my brother if I didn’t meet him every night, what was I supposed to do, let him die? I… I had to keep him safe, he just got a new job and moved in with Adam, and I’m just a burden anyway…”

Hate filled every part of my body, I was so angry I wanted to cry and scream at the same time. “Why wouldn’t you tell me, why did you break your promise, you were supposed to tell me if you ran into him.”

“Because of Nyma!” He yelled pulling his hand free from mine. “Because she threatened me okay. The reason I was so afraid when I saw her that night at the bar was that she was with James at the arcade, and she threatened to tell him where I lived if I got between the two of you.”

“Wait, is that why you skipped out that day you came back with those bruises, was it James that did that, have you been lying to me this whole time?” I couldn’t hold back my anger, I wasn’t mad at Keith, but I was pissed and I needed to let it out.

“Yes, okay, yes she is the reason I skipped out that day, and yes James was the one that hurt me, but it’s fine, I can hand…”

“Don’t you dare say those words, you can’t seriously be telling me you can handle this on your own, do you see yourself right now?” I stood up, I had to move, maybe if I moved I wouldn’t be so angry.

He rolled away covering his face with his hands. “I don’t want to see myself, I hate myself, I’m nothing but a burden on everyone I meet. I mean just look at what I’ve done to you, you’ve done nothing but worry about me since I told you that damn story, and now you’re involved in something that could kill you, all because of me.” His voice lowered, “I should have died after that party, then no one would have to get brought down by me.”

I broke down, my body giving in as I fell to my knees. I let the tears fall down my cheeks, I couldn’t hold them back any longer. I was just inches from him, but it felt like miles. I reached my hand out and placed it on the bed just behind his back. “Keith, if you died, I never would have gotten to meet my dance partner, my best friend, my everything.”

“Who, Nyma?” He choked.

“What, no, I was talking about you Mullet.” I pulled myself up and sat down on the bed behind him, gently placing my hand on his side causing him to wince. Was he hurt?  
He let out a soft chuckle, “Yeah right, I’m no ones everything.”

“Enough!” I yelled. “Enough talking about yourself that way, you are my everything, you always have been and you always will be. You’ve been through everything with me, all of the times you made me feel better after a break-up when you begged your brother to let me move in so I wouldn’t have to leave. Keith, it’s always been you, I just never pieced it together.” I laid down scooting in close to where I could feel my abdomen pressed against his back. His hair smelled amazing, I had always wondered what he washed it with, so soft and warm. I placed a kiss on the back of his neck. “I love you too, Keith.”

There was no response, I checked to make sure he was okay, but he was out cold, the alcohol had finally taken over, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

~Keith~

*I was falling into the void, fear overtaking my body. I couldn’t see anything, but I could hear everything. Laughter and whispers, hurtful words that couldn’t be taken back, they were stabbing me like a knife to the chest. Why was I here, what did I do to deserve this?*

I could hear a familiar voice, “It’s okay, you can open your eyes, Keith.”

My eyes slowly opened, first focusing on the ceiling, the red and blue stars sticking out like a sore thumb, but they weren’t my red and blue stars, because these two were in a sea of other stars. My eyes moved up until my gaze met with Lances, now realizing my head was in his lap, and I was in his bed, and he wasn’t wearing a shirt. I sat up, “No, no, no, no, I can’t be here, I have to lea…” His arms wrapped around me, just as they had the night before on the steps.

“Don’t leave, stay here and never leave me.” His voice was soft but firm.

I tried to hide the tears that formed in the corners of my eyes. “Lance, I can’t do this right now, I have to go before she sees me.” I tried to pull away, but he wasn’t letting me go this time.

“I won’t let anything happen to you, or Shiro, I promise you I will give my life to protect yours.” Where the hell was this coming from. Was he still worried about what I said about protecting Shiro?

“I don’t want you to give your life, that’s why you need to drop this shit now, Lance. This isn’t a game, there’s no cheat codes or happy endings, just…” I could feel the tears escape my hold, they began to streak down my cheeks furiously. “I can’t be here Lance, I can’t do this right now, Nyma will be here any minute and you don’t want to lose her over something stupid like this.”

“What are you talking about, don’t you remember last night?” He sounded confused.

“Yeah, you tried to stop me from leaving, and I was late thanks to you.”

“What about when you got home, do you remember coming in here last night?”

I did WHAT? Holy shit, oh no, no, no, no, no, this can’t be happening, what did I do, I was so drunk from James’, I don’t remember anything after that. “Please god tell me I didn’t do anything stupid, what did I say?” I didn’t want to know the answer, but I had to know if I told him about James.

“Everything from what’s been going on with James, to Nyma being friends with him, and on to…” He paused, taking in a deep breath. “Telling me that you loved me.”

My heart dropped, why was drunk me so invasive, why did I have to tell him my darkest secret. “I… I don’t want to hear anymore, I, I need to leave.” I tried to pull away again, my nausea getting worse by the minute, but again Lance held me in place. “Lance… I need to go… before I…” I broke free, to his protests, and scrambled to my feet.

“What the hell is that?” Lance asked pointing to my leg. 

Looking down I now realized I was only wearing my boxers, the scars on my inner thigh more visible than they had ever been. “Lance, I…”

“Are those fresh?” He reached for my leg, but I backed away.

I thought back to two months ago, just after we had stopped talking to each other.

*I sat in the bathroom trying to figure out why I had started the biggest fight over something so stupid. I wanted to talk to him, but there was no way he was going to forgive me, not with what he said. I glanced over at the sink, I could, maybe just this once. I rummaged through the cabinet down below until I found my little knife. Just this once, then everything will be better, right?

The release felt amazing, it had been so long since I had felt this intoxicating pain. I let the feeling wash over me even for just a second, before wrapping it up and hiding the knife safely back in it’s hiding spot. As long as no one knows, everything will be fine, I’ll be perfectly fine.*

“Answer me Keith, are those fresh, and who did that to you, don’t tell me you did it to yourself?” Lance’s cries brought me back to reality.

“I… I can’t talk about it right now, I have to go before she sees me he…” I was too late, I saw her peering through the cracked door, phone up to her ear. “NO!” I cried, throwing my pants on and running past Lance, chasing her down the hall.

She ran out the front door, giggling as she held her phone up in the air. “I knew this was going to happen, you’re too late Keithy boy, the call has already been made,” She sang.

Shit, what kind of consequence was I going to have to pay for this one? Was he going to hurt Shiro, or maybe Lance? I would take back everything if I could, I would have stopped myself from drinking, stopped myself from climbing into Lance’s bed, stopped myself from telling him everything.

“He wants to meet with you, the same place, you have thirty minutes to get there, starting three minutes ago.”

I bolted down the street I could hear Lance yelling for me as he finally made it out the front door. I’ll save you, Lance, I promise I won’t let anything bad happen to you. I could feel the cold taking over my body, I had no jacket or shoes, and I was running through the streets like I was being chased by a cheetah. Just when I felt like giving up it came into view, that flashy orange car in the parking lot of the gas station.

I tried to catch my breath before entering the car, the familiar smell of cigarettes making me want to puke. “I thought you quit smoking?” I was just trying to start a conversation.

“Well, maybe I have good reason to smoke,” He was angry, angrier than he had been in the last three months. “Maybe I just found out that my boyfriend slept with his roommate last night.”

“I, I didn’t sleep with him, I just passed out in his bed, it meant nothing, I was just too drunk to know it wasn’t my bed.” I had to calm him down, I couldn’t tell him anything happened between the two of us.

He whipped around grabbing me by the throat, “Do you think that matters to me, I have half a mind to kill him right now.”

“No… p-please… it was my fault... not his,” I said between gasps for air.

His grip tightened, “I’m not having some dumbass Cuban steal my boyfriend, he’s gotta die.”

“I’ll do… anything… please… d-don’t hurt him.” My head started swimming, feeling my consciousness slipping away.

He let go just as I was about to pass out. “What more can you do for me, that I don’t already get from our previous deals?”

I swear I could still feel his hand on my throat as I coughed trying to catch my breath, “I… I’ll move in with you… and I won’t complain or fight you in any way… I’ll stay away from him as long as it takes... even forever... as long as you promise to leave him AND my brother alone.”

He chuckled, but it was a low scary chuckle like I was about to regret everything I just said. “Are you sure about that?”

I looked down, “I would do anything to keep him safe, even give up my freedom, and myself.” I just wish I could have told him I loved him before all of this happened, I wish just this once I would have hugged him instead of running away, kissed his soft lips just once.

“Then I guess we should head home, huh baby.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! Oh drunk Keith, he's good for letting slip all your dirty secrets, heh heh. Things just took a turn for the worse, how will things end for these two? Guess you will have to stick around to find out.


	16. What Is Going On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance tries to find out what happened to Keith, while Keith deals with a serious issue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lance then Keith

~Lance~

I ran out the front door, Keith was already halfway down the street. I knew I wasn’t going to catch him with his inhuman running, so I yelled to try to get him to stop. “KEITH! KEITH STOP!” No response, he just kept running, not even looking back.

I turned back to Nyma, who was laughing while holding her phone in the air. “What did you do?” I snarled.

“I only made it better for the two of us, now we can be together with no distractions.” She was crazy, insane if you must.

“Who did you call, where is he going?” I grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her. I guess I thought I could shake the answer out of her, like when your chips get stuck in the vending machine and you really wanted that bag of chips.

She smiled, “Don’t worry, James will take care of him for us.”

My heart dropped into my stomach, a sickening feeling taking over my entire body. I wanted to drop to the ground and cry again, but I had to figure this out, I couldn’t let Keith get hurt. “What do you mean by that, where is Keith going?”

“All you need to know is that Keith won’t be coming around anymore, and I get you all to myself.” She tried to kiss me, but I pushed her away.

I almost completely forgot that I was standing out in the cold with nothing but my shorts on. I started to feel the cold as it took over my body, my feet freezing as they dug into the snow-covered ground. Flakes began to fall, small but heavy, sticking to my lashes as I stood frozen to my spot. “Nyma,” I snarled.

“Yes, baby?”

“First of all, don’t ever call me that again, I am not your baby and I never will be, and second, if I ever see you anywhere near this house, Keith, or me again, I will kill you myself. Now tell me where he’s taking Keith.” I couldn’t help the anger that bubbled up inside me, I had to let it out, and she was the only one I wanted to yell at.

She scoffed, “I’m not telling you anything if you’re going to act like that.”

“AGH! You’re useless, what did I ever see in you?” I stomped into the house and slammed the door, finally falling to the ground in a slump, the tears finally falling. 

In all my rage I hadn’t realized Shiro sitting in the living room. He ran over to me, picking me up and helping me to the chair. I knew he was talking to me, but I couldn’t hear his words over the ringing in my ears. I had to get up, I had to find him, I had to help him before it was too late. His words playing through my mind like a record stuck on repeat. If only I would have let him go, she wouldn’t have seen him, he would still be in the house, safe, but now he was running through the city streets, possibly to his death, and it was all my fault.

“Lance, Lance, talk to me Lance, What just happened, where is Keith?” His words finally cut through the ringing, my mind clearing just enough to respond.

“He’s… he’s… he’s…”

“Lance spit it out.”

My mind was screaming, but my words came out in a jumbled mess. “He’s… James… and Nyma called… and now Keith is… trouble.” He grabbed me by the shoulders, shaking me until I was able to get out a coherent sentence. “Nyma is friends with James, and they have been threatening Keith into being with James, and now Nyma has done something bad and I don’t know where Keith went, but we need to find him fast before something bad happens, and I… I just want him to be okay because... I love him.”

Shiro pulled me into a hug, “It’s going to be okay, we will find him and bring him home safe, I refuse to let him end up in the hospital again.” His hug tightened making it hard to breathe, but it felt good, it was exactly what I need to calm myself down.

We sat down at the kitchen table and made up a plan. First, we were going to drive around town and try to see if we spot him or James, meanwhile, Pidge was going to figure out a way to track his phone. Usually, they have to share their location with you before you can track them, but I’m sure Pidge could hack it. Hunk was our hospital guy, he sat at the kitchen table calling all of the hospitals in the area to see if a boy with a black mullet had been admitted.

I was slowly losing hope of finding him, things were starting to crumble, and I felt like my world had been ripped from my arms before I could properly see it. My world was gone and the only thing keeping me going at this point was the glimmer of hope I had in finding him.

~Keith~

We finally made it back to the apartments. I hid my face and hair in James’ spare hoodie just in case Shiro was to see me. The walk down the hall felt ten times longer than it had last night, flashbacks of the night before reeling through my head like an old movie. The black and white figures of James and Lance mixing with words I wasn’t quite sure who had said.

“Honey, we’re home.”

I hated how comfortable he was with all of this, he was practically kidnapping me, holding me against my will, or at least that’s how it felt. I had agreed to this, I was the one that came up with this stupid deal, how could I let my mouth betray me like this.

I followed him inside, it seemed a bit different. The pictures were thrown to the ground, broken glass littering the floor, everything had been pushed off the kitchen table, and the couch was flipped upside down. He had thrown a tantrum, like a child, because I slept in someone else’s bed.

“You can get started on cleaning this up, it was your fault after all,” He sneered as he walked off towards the bathroom. “I’m going to take a bath, I expect it to be spotless when I get out.”

Now I was his maid? I didn’t want to clean anything, I could barely stand from all of the running I had done to get to him in the first place. Although I wasn’t sure what kind of punishment I was going to get if I didn’t and I was still afraid for Lance and Shiro, James was unpredictable, so who knew how long he was going to stick with the deal we made before he wanted to make a new one.

I picked up all of the pictures, the only one not broken was the one of me. I slumped against the wall looking at the picture of a happy smiling Keith and wished I could go back to that moment, to be free of all of this, and to be home… with Lance.

“If I get out of this, I promise I won’t ever let you go,” I cried into my sleeve.

I cleaned everything up, thank god James took insanely long baths and headed to the bedroom. I just wanted to lay down and ignore the fact that I was probably never going to leave this place again. I just wanted to go home, to curl up in a little ball and shut the world out for a while.

I heard the door creak open, the sound of his footsteps across the bedroom floor sending shivers through my body. I wasn’t out of the water yet, there was still a chance I was going to drown.

His weight shifted the bed causing me to roll onto my back. The intensity in his eyes reminded me of the deepest parts of the ocean, terrifying, never knowing what you’re going to run into. “Keith,” He spoke softly. “Baby.” I hated when he called me that, it was like a slap to the face. “I thought I lost you today.” Why was he talking like this, it was creeping me out. “How are you going to make it up to me?”

There it was, I knew it wasn’t going to be enough just moving in with him. I knew he was going to hold this over my head for the rest of my life. “I… I don’t know, h-how do you want me to make it up?” Why did I ask that, god I’m such an idiot.

His smile grew three times at my question, his eyes lighting up like a fire in a dragon’s belly. “I thought you would never ask.” He grabbed my wrists and pulled them above my head, tying them with a rope I had only just realized was tied to the bed frame. “Do you remember what we did last night, or were you too drunk for that too?”

I closed my eyes, flashes of the night before playing in blurry patches of my mind. No, don’t remember it, I didn’t want to remember, that’s why I got drunk, please stop remembering things. “I… I…”

“I didn’t think so, well then, that means you get to experience it all for the first time again.” He grabbed my cheeks in both hands and our lips came crashing together. He pulled away for a brief moment to say, “Don’t forget, you promised not to fight me this time.”

My stomach churned, the sickness washing over my whole body, I had to hold it in, there was no getting away at this point, I was tied to the damn bed. His hands started making their way across my body, one running down my chest, the other up my leg. It felt weird, it felt wrong, but I couldn’t fight, I had to do this to keep them safe.

He began to pull my pants off, I didn’t make it easy for him. His hands resuming their positions caressing different parts of my body. His lips gently touched my inner thigh, before a sharp pain sent a wave of panic to my brain. It happened again, this time I looked down to see James biting my thigh, leaving small droplets of blood forming where his teeth had just been.

“AGH!” Shit that hurts.

He smiled, “Oh come on, you seemed to like it last night.” His words made me blush, I was trying to suppress those memories, why did he have to bring them up. At least Lance never saw those marks, he never would have let me leave then.

This was the first time since this whole mess started, that I could feel everything he was doing. The tears I shed lost in a sea of raven hair as it fell into my face. His hands touching me in places I never thought would be touched. But never once did I think about the pain that was yet to come as he pulled my legs up over his shoulders.

“FUCK!” It was like needles jabbing me, and every thrust after was like broken glass. I wanted to forget, to black out and disappear from my body, the pain so intense I wished I was dead. But I can’t fight, I have to endure it, I have to deal with this until… until… I didn’t want to, I couldn’t deal with this any longer, all of this had gone way too far and it was all his fault.

I snapped back pulling so hard on the rope that it snapped the bed frame. The second I was free I used my full force to bash him in the face with my still tied together fists. He fell back onto the floor, his nose dripping with blood. I tried to pull myself upright but I was crushed under his weight as he jumped on top of me.

“You little shit,” He yelled grabbing at anything he could get his hands on. It happened to be my hair that he caught, I could feel his fingers tangling in with my messy locks before pulling back. “You are going to pay for that one.” 

Before he could hit me I pushed with all my strength sending James flying off the bed again. I made it halfway across the bedroom before I was back on the ground, fingers gripping around my throat until I could feel my eyes trying to pop out. “Let me go... I’m done… with this… I’ll figure out… how to protect them... myself.”

He smirked, it was never a good thing when he did that, the last time he smirked at me I woke up in the hospital. “You really shouldn’t have said that.” His fist connected with my temple and everything went fuzzy. I was still trying to get away, I may not have been able to focus, but I could still move. I pushed him off, finally, but in one final blow, everything went dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my gosh Y'all, Things are really starting to heat up. P.S. I almost just lost this chapter trying to post it, thank god for the undo button in google docs.


	17. The Phone Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith finds his phone, while Lance and Shiro try to track him down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lance then Keith

~Lance~

Shiro and I scoured the streets while the others took care of things from home. It was beginning to seem like we were never going to find him, I mean we had gone all the way to Shiro and Adam’s apartment and still had no trace of him.

Shiro’s phone went off, it was Pidge, hopefully, she was calling to tell us she had tracked his phone finally.

Shiro put the phone on speaker, “What have you found?” He asked promptly.

“Well, Hunk and I were bouncing ideas off each other and got nothing, so I called Matt and Beezer to come help…”

“Hey Shiro,” Matt interrupted.

“Hey Matt, so anyway, have you figured anything out?” Shiro was quick to change the subject.

“Well, we can’t really zero it in, it’s just giving me a range in which it’s in right now, I’m working on it though.” I could hear the clicking of the keyboard through the phone, it sounded like he was typing a mile a minute, at least faster than I could type for sure, those damn Holt siblings were too smart for their own good.

My phone started to ring in my coat pocket, it was muffled but I recognized that ringtone anywhere. I fumbled it out of my pocket, almost losing it in between the seat and the center console, and held it up to look at the name... Mullet man. It was my nickname for him, don’t judge.

“ShiROOO!” I held the phone up to his face.

“Is that Keith?”

“Wait did you say, Keith, is he calling you right now?” Matt was quick to start up his typing again. “Pidge do you still have Lance’s phone hacked from that one time he stole your burrito out of the freezer?”

Pidge laughed, “I totally forgot about that, but yes, and good thinking, we can convert the call to our systems, redirect the location through the server, and we should be able to get a clear location on him.”

“Pidge, what the hell, also do whatever it is you just said, we will talk about the hacking thing later.” I was staring at my phone, my head swimming through the possibilities of the call. It could be James calling to tell me he killed him, maybe it was Keith asking for a ride, maybe it was him calling to tell me goodbye. I wanted to answer it, but I was frozen.  
Matt and Shiro’s voice cut in, “Well, are you going to fucking answer it.”

“First off, Language, second you’re fucking right I’m going to answer it.” I tapped the answer button and clicked the speakerphone icon. “Keith?”

“Lance, thank god you answered.”

~Keith~

My body felt heavy, my head still swimming, everything coming through in a blurry haze. I opened my eyes a bit more, still trying to focus, but all I could see was the bed and part of a nightstand. I remembered why the side of my head hurt, but I didn’t remember the pain in my jaw. I tried to move it and it made a sort of weird popping sound, which wasn’t usually a good sound when it came to jaws.

I lifted my head, my eyes finally coming into focus. The bed shifted and an arm wrapped around my waist. “That doesn’t sound very good.” I made the slightest movement and his grip tightened. “Do you want to go back on our deal?”

I gave in, relaxing my tensed muscles, and laid my head back on the pillow. “No.” My voice came out softly, much quieter than I had expected.

“Then go clean yourself up, and stop trying to run away please.” His weight shifted and his footsteps disappeared down the hallway.

I made my way to the bathroom, it took me a minute to remember where it was, the last time I used it I was wasted. It was small, almost a bit cramped, it reminded me of the foster home I was in before I moved in with Shiro and his parents, everything in that place was cramped, I had to sleep in a cupboard under the stairs.

I ran the bath, looking over into the mirror to asses the damage. It wasn’t too bad, but I had a small cut on the right side of my jaw, it stung when I touched my fingers to it. I had bruising on my hips in the shape of handprints, I’m guessing from James’ hands.

The water felt good on my aching body as I climbed into the bath. I let it take over my body, only my face sticking out so I could breathe. The aches slowly began to fade the longer I sat, the heat penetrating down to my core. I felt good for that small moment in time, I felt like I could be alright, but my mind wouldn’t let go of my situation. I could just slip under the water, I could hold my breath until there was nothing left, until my body shut down. No one would ever have to deal with a burden like me again.

A knock at the door brought me back, sitting up gasping for air. “It’s time to finish up, let’s go.” James’ voice came through the solid wood door.

“O-okay, I’m coming.” I pulled the stopper from the drain and grabbed the edge to help myself out. I thought the bath water would ease my pain, but it almost felt worse than when I had gotten in.

“Just hurry up Kogane.” The pitter-patter disappeared down the hall.

The cut on my jaw was bleeding again so I decided to rummage through the drawers to find a band-aid. When I opened the bottom drawer, a familiar sight came into view, it was my phone. I pulled it out and clicked the power button, hoping it had even a minute worth of battery life. It felt like forever waiting for the screen to turn on, showing me my favorite background pic of Lance dancing. He never really knew I took the picture, but it was just so cute I couldn’t delete it.

I unlocked it and quickly started scrolling through my contacts list until Lance’s name popped up. I could call him and tell him to stop looking for me because if I know Lance he’s probably got the whole house and then some looking for me. I clicked his name and hovered my finger over the little phone icon before practically smashing my finger into it.

It was ringing… still ringing… another ring, for someone so worried about everything I did, he sure wasn’t answering his phone very fast. One more ring and finally, “Keith?”

“Lance, thank god you answered.” I held back the want to cry, I couldn’t let him know I was afraid. “Lance, I need you to stop looking for me, it’s only going to cause more problems.”

“There is no way in hell we are going to stop looking for you, where are you, Keith.” It was Shiro, dammit Lance was quick.

“Lance, take me off speaker phone right now,” I demanded, but it was in a low whisper, I couldn’t take the chance of James knowing. “I don’t want my brother to hear this next part.”

“Yeah, of course.” He agreed to easily, something was up.

“Listen to me, the only way I can keep the two of you safe is to stay where I am, but I needed to get one thing out to you before I lose contact with you all together.” I was having a much harder time keeping my emotions in check, tears welling up in the corners of my eyes. “I… I love you, Lance McClain, I always have and I always will, which is why I have to say goodbye.”

“Don’t do this, just tell me where you are and we will come get you, you don’t have to deal with this on your own,” He cried.

I hated hearing him like that, and to think it was over me, so stupid. “Don’t cry for me Lance, I’m not worth your tears, I’m not worth anything, just let me disappear and forget you ever met me, that goes for you too, Shiro.” I knew he hadn’t taken me off speakerphone, I wasn’t an idiot.

“I will never forget you, Keith, you’re my brother and I’m going to find you whether you like it or not.”

“Please, just know I love you both,” I couldn’t hold back anymore, my grip on my phone tightened and the tears began to fall.

“I found him!” Was that Matt, shit they have been tracking my phone this whole conversation, this is bad, this is really, really bad.

“I have to go, please don’t come looking for me.” I hung up, but it seemed to be too late. The door busted open and James had me pinned to the wall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the cliffhanger.


	18. Worst Case Scenario

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shiro and Lance finally find Keith but what happens next can't possibly be good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lance then Keith

~Lance~

“Keith, Keith… dammit!” I threw my phone to the ground. “Matt, what the fuck, why did you have to say that out loud now he hung up.” I couldn’t control my mouth, I was so angry and scared.

“Lance, calm down,” Shiro said. It almost sounded like he should be telling himself that.

“How am I supposed to calm down, hmm, explain.” I shouldn’t be taking this out on them, they were just trying to help after all.

Shiro’s phone went off, “I just sent you the location, you should be able to follow it directly to him, it kind of looks like he’s in the apartments across from Adam’s,” Matt said.

We both looked at each other, then back out the front window to the building in front of us. We both struggled to get out before rushing across the parking lot and up to the front door. The only problem we were faced with, was not knowing what floor he was on. We ran down the hall to the apartment on the first level.  
When we knocked a nice old lady answered the door. “Wrong apartment, sorry ma’am,” Shiro said with a bow.

“Oh, who are you looking for, I know just about everyone in this building,” She said with a smile.

I looked at Shiro who shrugged his shoulders in a, it’s worth a try, way. “Do you by chance know which apartment James Griffin lives in?”

“Oh James, he’s such a sweetheart, you know, I think he lives one floor up, apartment 29b.”

I didn’t stick around to hear the rest of what she had to say, and from the footsteps behind me, it didn’t seem like Shiro did either. We ran up the stairs and down the hall until we reached apartment 29b. I jiggled the handle, but the door was locked.

“Out of my way, Lance.” Shiro pushed me to the side as he rammed the door with his shoulder.

~Keith~

“Stop… I… I wasn’t calling to tell them where I was.” His fist was wrapped in my hair, pulling my head back, with a knife to my throat. “Please… I just wanted to talk to him one last time.” I could feel the cold steel press up against my bare skin.

“You just can’t seem to stop breaking our deals Kogane, I think this punishment is going to be much worse.”

No, I didn’t want to know what his punishment would be this time. He pulled me through the apartment and into the living room, before throwing me onto the floor. The pain was swift and it spread up from my leg through my hips and into my torso. James pulled the knife from my thigh and wiped the blood on my pants. I could feel the wetness as the blood spread down my thigh and pooled below me on the floor.

“This is not how I want to treat you baby, but you give me no other choice.” I closed my eyes and waited for the impact.

A loud crack followed by the sound of the door crashing to the floor, caused me to open my eyes and look up. Shiro was standing in the doorway, the door frame shattered into pieces with lances head poking around it.

No, no, no, this was the worst situation, there was no way this was going to end well, someone was going to end up hurt. I had just enough time, while James wasn’t looking, to push myself up and roll out from under him before Shiro was tackling him to the ground.

“Lance, get him out of here!” Shiro barked as his fist connected with James’ face.

Lance came running around the corner, never taking his eyes off of the fight, and made his way over to me. “Keith, Jesus Christ, what happened to you, you had me…”

“You need to leave,” I cried. “You can’t be here, do you have any idea what he will do to you?”

“ENOUGH!” Lance yelled, it threw me off, he has never yelled like that before, it was broken and scared. “You are going to let Shiro and I help you this time, with no complaints, or so help me, Mullet…”

I wasn’t really in a position to fight him, I had to agree, I could barely even stand on my own thanks to the knife wound in my leg. “Okay, okay, goddammit you are so stubborn.”

“I learned it from the best,” He insisted, giving me a slight smile before helping me to my feet.

The sounds of the fight filled the room, while Lance pulled me along. He kept trying to get me to head towards the door, but my brain wouldn’t stop going through the possibilities of the fight, so my body wouldn’t move properly. 

That’s when I heard it, the knife making contact with flesh. It was a piercing sound that resonated in my mind as it was followed by a cry of pain. James stood with an eerie smile, not something you want to see after you hear something like that. Shiro was unconscious on the floor blood gushing from his right shoulder. No, this can’t be happening, what have I done, this is all my fault.

“You know what this means baby?” Was he still calling me that? It made me sick hearing it come from his mouth. “I get to take care of two problems tonight.”

I turned around to look at Lance, his eyes were wide and I could feel his body begin to shake around me. “Lance, you have to get out of here, I can hold him off, just get yourself out of here before you get hurt too.” I started pushing him towards the door.

“I’m not going anywhere, not without you.” He really did get his stubbornness from me, and I was hating myself for it right now.

James lunged at us and Lance pulled us out of the way, but he was right back on us in a matter of seconds. There was no way we were going to make it out of this with the way things were going right now, so I had to figure something out fast.

I had been so caught up in my thoughts that I hadn’t noticed Lance stop and pull his hand from mine, I didn’t notice James backing him into the corner, I didn’t notice any of it until I heard Lance scream my name. “KEITH!”

I spun around, I wasn’t too far away, I could reach him if I just...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for another cliffhanger... JK I'm loving this. ;) But seriously, sorry this one is kind of short, but I couldn't give everything away right at the beginning.


	19. A Look Into The Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We look back at Keith's past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith

My dad always told me that my mom left when I was about one. She had gotten a new job in a different country and just up and left us. He had always hoped to see her again, but that day never came.

My dad was the fire chief in our hometown and it was a fairly demanding job, at least in our town it was. One day a wildfire started in the forest just outside of town, they thought they could put it out with the trucks because it hadn’t gotten too bad yet. I had been with him when he got the call, it was, take your kid to work day, and I was so excited because I wanted to be just like him when I grew up, I even stole his hat all the time and wore it around the house or the station.

We pulled up to the fire, some of the others were already there, so my dad just jumped right in. I could overhear the conversations from the truck and it sounded like there was a small boy trapped just behind the wall of fire. They told him not to go, they yelled for him for what felt like forever, but he ran straight into the fire and disappeared.

After a couple of minutes, the boy came running out wearing my dad’s fireman's jacket, but my dad was nowhere to be found. The rest of the team were yelling for him as they tried to spray a clear path through the flames. I got out and started to run for the fire if they weren’t going to save him, then I would, but my dad’s buddy stopped me just before I reached the flames. I kicked and screamed while he held me tight, I couldn’t break free, I just wanted to save him.

I ended up in foster care, my father never made it out of those woods that day. The young boy he saved ended up telling them he had gotten stuck under a fallen tree and gave him the jacket so he could make it out safely. He saved that boy even though he knew he was probably going to die.

The first group home I was in wasn’t so bad, but it definitely wasn’t home to me. My attitude changed a lot while I was there, I started to lose my temper with the other kids, especially one of the boys I shared a room with.

They all knew what happened to my dad, but when Alex found out that my mom had left, that was when the teasing started. They would say things like, “His mom must have left because of how annoying he is, he’s just a burden on the world, even his dad died to get away from him.”

And things only got worse from there. I had to go to foster home after foster home and it was always the same thing, either too many kids, or the parents were abusive in some form. The worst one I had to stay at was a house with three other kids. The kids were their actual children and picked on me every day. I got beaten up a couple of times and the one time I fought back they sent me back to the group home because I was dangerous.

So naturally, when Shiro’s parents took me in, I was skeptical. I didn’t want to be a burden on another family, it was only going to make the pain of rejection deeper. But when I got there, things seemed different, Shiro was nice to me, he hung out with me, he protected me. It helped that we had a common ground, we both had a thing for boys.

Although, when his parents found out we were both gay it threw a wrench in the family dynamic. His parents began to blame me for turning their son gay, no matter how much he fought with them. The day Shiro turned eighteen they left, they moved far away and we hadn’t seen them since.

It only made things better, everything was great, we were finally free of hate, at least around the house we were. And that’s when I met James, but we all know how that went, so I prefer not to talk about that.

Just when I thought things would never be okay I met, Lance. He had been hogging my favorite game all day and I wasn’t going to let it fly.

“I want to play,” I demanded walking up to him.

“And so do I.” He was an asshole, just great.

“Well, you have been playing all day, now let me have a turn before I knock you into next week.” Calm down, remember what Shiro said.

He bent down to look me in the eyes, “You have pretty eyes, alright, I’ll play you for it.”

Pretty eyes? I blushed, what is this kids deal, now he wants to play me for it. “Alright, deal.” 

He offered me his hand, but I smacked it out of the way. “Hmm, rude much?” He was pouting a bit, it made me laugh, my blush growing deeper.

The song started, it was my favorite song on this one. “Oh you’re so gonna lose, whatever your name is, this is my favorite.”

He smiled at me, my heart skipping a beat as the blush grew even deeper, and said, “Oh really Mullet man, well it’s my favorite too, so I guess we’re back to even.”

Ugh, I really needed to cut my hair, but it was such a pain in the butt, I just never got around to it. I was getting tired of people making fun of it, but who the hell cares what everyone else thinks, they usually only say mean things, so I try to ignore them.

The beat started and we were off, staying fairly close the entire round. People were starting to gather around us, it made me a bit uncomfortable, but I just shut them out, focusing solely on the game. By the time it was over I was only one point down, but I had lost. As I turned to walk away, a hand was placed on my shoulder.

“Dude… that was the best… game ever, you have to be my DDR partner,” He said in between deep breaths.

“You what? Why would you want me to be your partner, I was just rude to you remember?”

“Well, you were rude, but we can work on it. Meet me here every Saturday and Sunday, I need an arcade buddy, here let me put my number in your phone.” He grabbed my phone and started typing it in, “Just text me later and tell me who you are so I have your number, okay?”

I nodded, “O-okay,” And then I walked off. It had been the first time in years, I had felt something like that, acceptance.

Over the next couple of years, he made me feel like I had never felt before like I had a friend like things weren’t as bad as my mind made it seem. I loved it, every minute of it. He doesn’t deserve to die, he never has and he probably never will. He is the sweetest, kindest, most self-sacrificial person I have ever met.

Which is why I had to do what I did, I had to be the one, not him...


	20. Worst Case Scenario Pt.2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We start back at where we were, and we end waiting in the hospital.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lance

I thought I could stop him, I thought if I just let go and let him run out of here, I could stop James and save him this time. I was wrong, I hadn’t realized how strong he was until I was backed into a corner. I looked over to see Keith running for the front door, his hand still cupped like he was holding my hand. I wanted him to make it, I wanted him to be okay, but for some stupid reason I screamed out his name.

I looked back at James who was creeping ever closer, knife in hand. I closed my eyes just as I saw the knife plunging towards me… but I felt nothing, was this what it was like to die, to feel nothing.

I felt a pair of arms wrap around my neck with a soft whisper, “I’m sorry.”

I opened my eyes just in time to catch Keith from dropping to the ground. “Keith… No, no I… I finally had you, Keith, no.” His arms stayed wrapped around me as I dropped to the ground, holding him in my lap. “Please say something, please be okay.”

“I… I’m sorry I got… you into this… I never wanted you to get… hurt…” His breathing was ragged and shallow, he cried out when I placed my hand over the wound, but I had to stop the bleeding, I couldn’t let him die. I could feel the warmth as it pooled out between my fingers.

“Keith, I never wanted you to get hurt either, and now…” I choked on my own words. Should I tell him how bad it looks, should I tell him how scared I am? “I love you, please don’t leave me.”

“D-don’t be afraid… I will always… love you.” I felt his body sink into mine, his face buried in my neck. “But you have to let me go… I only bring pain and s-suffering.” He was gasping for air, his chest heaving against my own.

I wrapped my other arm around him pulling him in closer, “I will never let you go, you’re the red star to my blue, the sun to my moon, you are my everything, I won’t let you leave me, not this time.”

A booming voice cut in, “No, this wasn’t supposed to happen, it wasn’t supposed to end this way, and it’s all your fault.” James was standing over us, he was manic, his eyes wide, his lips curled up. I had no idea what he was going to do next. 

“Wait, please wait, don’t you see what you’re doing, look at what you’ve done to him, this is not my fault, this is all you, buddy.” Why did I say that? That was probably the dumbest thing I could have ever said, so why did I say it?

“You really are just as dumb as I thought you were,” He said. The knife came down a second time, but this time I never took my eyes off of his, that is until Shiro knocked him out with a left hook. He flew back onto the ground and Shiro followed continuing to lay punches into him until my screams to stop finally got through.

He sat back, tears streaming down his face as he looked back at me and Keith. I could see the blood dripping from his shoulder, the cut was deep and made its way from his shoulder almost to his elbow. He slowly made his way over to me and leaned against the wall next to us, placing a hand on Keith’s shoulder.

“I… I… I don’t know what to do, I can still feel him breathing, but his heartbeat is slowing... Shiro, what am I going to do, how do I… how am I supposed to live without him?” I finally let everything out, breaking down into a full-on sob fest, the tears rolling down my cheeks and disappearing into the mess of raven hair.

It wasn’t long before the cops and ambulances showed up, I’m guessing the neighbors had something to do with that, we weren’t really being quiet. The paramedics took Shiro and James out, while I sat holding Keith in my arms. They kept telling me to let go, but I didn’t want to, I didn’t want to hear those two words I was terrified were true.

They finally managed to pry him from my arms as I cried out, “Please, I have to go with him, please let me go with him.” The paramedic finally agreed and helped me to my feet as they wheeled him out.

The ride to the hospital was a blur, they were yelling things I didn’t understand, trying to ask me questions I didn’t know the answers to. I just wanted to hear them say he was okay, that he was going to be alright, but how could they, it wasn’t going to be alright.

I sat in the waiting room, blood still soaked into my clothes, it looked like a damn horror movie. I was terrified at how much there actually was and there was no way I was going to look in the mirror, as I remembered all of the times I had run my fingers through my hair in the ambulance, me hiding my face in my hands as they cut at his clothes to get them off. I tried to desperately wipe my hands clean on my pants, but they were covered in more blood than my shirt had been.

Adam came rushing through the emergency doors, disastrously yelling at the woman behind the counter to tell him where his fiance was, but she just kept telling him to calm down and sit in the waiting room until someone came out to get him. When he turned around he spotted me, rushing over to me and scooping me up into a hug.

“You might not want to hug me right now, I’m covered in blood.” I lightly pushed on his shoulders to get him off.

“What the hell happened, I got a call that Takashi was in the hospital and they wouldn’t tell me why, so I came here and now I see you covered in blood and I…”

“Hey calm down, I’ll explain everything, but you have to sit down.”

He sat and I explained everything to him, starting with James, how he was blackmailing Keith, how he practically kidnapped him, and about the fight that took place in the apartment. I could hear the hoarseness in my voice, I could feel the scratchiness of my throat from all of the screaming and crying I had done over the last three hours. I wanted so badly for that doctor to come through those doors, but I was terrified of what he was going to say when he did.

Adam was stunned, “So have you heard anything about either of them?”

“Not yet, I’m assuming we will hear about Shiro before we hear anything about Keith, Shiro had a pretty nasty cut down his right arm, but I’m sure it will be okay.” I was trying to reassure him, I had to keep my composure so I didn’t freak him out.

“What about Keith?” He asked.

I dropped my gaze, I couldn’t talk about that right now, I didn’t want to relive the feeling of his arms wrapped around my neck, the feeling of the blood trickling out through my fingers as I held him in my lap, how I cried and told him everything was going to be okay, even though I knew it wouldn’t be. “I… I don’t know.”

Suddenly, the doors opened and the doctor came walking out. “Is there a Mr. Wilson here, also a Mr. McClain.” Both of us flew up out of our seats before he even finished saying our names. “Please follow me.”

We followed him down the long hallway to a door at the end on the right. When we walked in Shiro was sitting up on the bed, shoulder bandaged all the way down to his elbow. “Shiro” “Takashi” We both yelled running over to his bedside.

Adam threw his arms around him, tears streaming down his face, “What were you thinking, you scared the crap out of me.” 

“I’m sorry Adam, but I had to save my brother, speaking of…” He looked up at me, my head quickly turning away.

“I haven’t heard anything yet, they’re keeping me in the dark about it,” I choked out.

“I’m sure it’s going to be okay, Keith is a strong kid, he’ll pull through.” He didn’t sound too confident about that, his voice giving away his emotions.

I put my hands up to my face trying to hide my fear, “Y-yeah I’m sure he’ll be ok-okay.” 

I felt an arm wrap around me, it was Shiro. I knew he was feeling the same way as me, he had gone through this twice already, waiting to hear if his brother was going to live. It hurt more than any pain I had ever felt in my life, and I had broken my leg when I was thirteen, like the whole leg, shattered.

The doctor came back in about an hour later. “Mr. Shirogane, we have some news about your brother.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is he okay, is he going to survive this time? I guess you'll have to wait for the next update hehe.


	21. Thank God You're Okay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance is finally able to see Keith.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lance then Keith

“Mr. Shirogane, we have some news about your brother.”

I felt my heart skip a beat, “Please tell us he’s okay, tell me he’s not…” I couldn’t finish, I didn’t want to even think of it as a possibility at this point.

“Who are you?” He stopped to look at his chart, “Are you, Mr. Wilson, I have him listed as a legal guardian along with Mr. Shirogane”

“Ahem, no that would be me,” Adam said stepping out from behind me. “This is his… boyfriend?”

I choked back a laugh, “Well, I mean, technically we were never dating before this happened, but I would like to be at some point... I think.”

“Well, okay then,” He said turning back to Shiro. “Your brother is in stable condition, he sustained a lot of damage to the leg and a stab wound in the back, he also had some broken ribs, a cracked jaw, and a mild concussion, but we were able to save him. As of right now, we’re not sure when he’s going to wake up, but if you would like to visit him you’re more than welcome to, here is his room number, and a pass for…” He looked over at me.

“Uh, Lance McClain, sir.” He wrote my name on the visitor's sticker and handed it to me. “Thank you, thank you, thank you,” I was jumping up and down like a crazy person.

I didn’t even wait for the other two, I bolted down the hall to the elevators. I finally knew he was okay after three and a half hours of waiting, I had to see him, even if he wasn't awake, I had to be near him. The elevator dinged and I was rushing down the hall to his room.

When I entered most of the lights were off, except for the ones around his bed and the computers. He was laying there so still it was like he wasn’t even real, but the closer I got the more I started to finally believe it was him.

I sat down in the chair next to his bedside, pulling it closer so I could be right next to him. I swept a couple of strands of loose hair out of his face, caressing my hand along his cheek as I did, it was so soft. “You scared the crap out of me Mullet, I thought I lost you for good.” I rested my head in my arms on the bed. “I swear if you ever do something that stupid again… ugh, that’s right, you can’t even hear me.” I looked down at his hand, my hand reaching out, tangling my fingers up in his. “Please get better soon because I miss you so much already, and I just want my Mullet man back.”

“Lance,” Shiro said walking in. “Maybe you should come home with us for a bit, get a change of clothes, maybe take a shower, I promise it will make you feel better.” He and Adam walked over to the other side of the bed. He wiped at the tears that formed in his eyes, Adam standing close behind him, a hand on his back.

“I… I think I’m going to stay here, I can rinse off in the sink and you guys can bring me a change of clothes, maybe?” I wasn’t leaving, there was no way I was ever leaving his side again. Alright maybe that’s a bit crazy, but I wasn’t leaving him now, not for a while at least.

“Are you sure?” Adam said stepping out from behind Shiro.

“It’s okay Adam, if he wants to stay, let him,” Shiro said with a smile. “I’m just glad he has someone other than me this time,” He chuckled weakly.

“He’s gonna be okay, I promise I’ll take care of him, Shiro.”

“I know you will,” He smiled.

They walked out leaving me alone again. I pulled my hand from his and headed over to the sink to wash up. I was finally able to see myself in the mirror and it was like a horror movie. I had bloody handprints up my arms and my face, it was in my hair and all over my clothes. I ran the water and grabbed the washcloth next to the sink, scrubbing my arms and face, I had no idea how I was going to get it out of my hair.

It slowly began to wash over me as I stuck my head in the sink, the water running down through my hair and over my face. The blood mixing in with the water as it ran down the sink. None of it was mine, all of this blood I was washing away wasn't mine, but Keith’s. I hated this feeling, I hated knowing that he was the one laying in the bed behind me, that he was the one who had been stabbed instead of me. He risked his life for me and all I could do was hold him as he bled out in my arms. I couldn’t fight for him, I only made things worse when I tried. Why did I let go of him, why did I try to fight?

I dried myself off, hoping Shiro and Adam would be back soon with a change of clothes, I really hated wearing these bloody clothes. I walked back over to the chair and slumped down closing my eyes for just a moment.

“Lance… hey Lance, wake up, I brought you some clothes.”

When I opened my eyes, Shiro came into focus. “Oh, th-thanks, I can finally get out of these.” I suddenly sat up looking over at the bed, Keith was still out cold. A pain formed deep in my chest as a sigh escaped my lips.

“He’s going to wake up, just give him some time, now, why don’t you go change, I’ll be here so he’ll be safe.”

~Two days later~

Shiro was out with Adam picking up lunch, so I decided to rest my eyes. I had laid my head on the edge of the bed and closed my eyes. I thought I heard something, but I just chalked it up to the stupid machines they had him hooked up to.

Just as I felt myself starting to drift off a hand was placed on my head. I bolted upright, the shock setting in as I saw Keith staring back at me. “hoLY SHIT!” I wrapped my arms around him causing him to let out a small groan. “Oh god, I’m so sorry.” I tried to pull away, but his arms wrapped around me and pulled me even closer.

~Keith~

“I’m so glad you’re okay,” I whispered.

“Woah, wait a minute, I’m the one that should be saying that,” He scolded. “You scared me half to death Keith, I thought you died, I thought I was going to lose you forever.” His body began to shake as he choked back the tears threatening to fall. “I can’t… I can’t lose you… not before I get the chance to tell you… how much I love you.”

The room fell silent, my breath hitched, “Lance, I… I…” I let out a small chuckle.

“What’s so funny?” He sounded hurt.

“I just, never thought, in a million years that I would hear you say that,” I said.

He pulled back looking directly into my eyes. They seemed different they were lit up, almost glowing. I leaned back in, but this time it was not for a hug, oh no. I felt the warmth of his lips pressed against mine, it all felt so familiar, like we had done this before. We were locked in a full-on makeout session until I lightly pushed him back.

“Fuck, sorry, it started to hurt.” I said rubbing my jaw.

“Shit, I should have remembered, I… umm…” He sat back down in the chair.

My mind was reeling from what just happened, I could still feel the warmth of his lips lingering long after they had gone. I tried to sit up, but as I felt the stitches begin to stretch, and the pain that shot through my body, I winced and laid back down. 

“What did you mean, you never thought you’d hear me say that?” He looked confused, it was actually kind of adorable.

“Well, I’ve gone through every possibility in my head, I’ve had nightmares about it, and it always ends badly, it always ended with me losing you… so I kept my feelings to myself, at least I still had you as my arcade buddy, right?” I hated talking about this, I hated every minute of it, but I had to tell him, I couldn’t keep secrets from him anymore, look where it got me.

“Keith.”

“Don’t worry about it, it doesn’t matter now.” I looked over at him with a smile, “Umm, have we kissed before, it felt so familiar?”

“I… uh… yeah, you’ve kissed me twice now,” He chuckled nervously.

“What? When? How?” Oh my god, my gay panic was in full swing at this point, I don’t remember ever kissing him.

“Well, the first time was when I brought you home from the bar that night, you caught me off guard outside the car, and the other time was the night you slept in my bed, but of course I stopped you, I wasn’t going to take advantage of you while you were drunk.” His cheeks were turning a nice shade of pink

I covered my face with my hands, but I’m sure he could still see the blush peeking through my fingers. “God, drunk Keith is so invasive,” I groaned. He was the worst when it came to giving away my secrets, how do you think Shiro found things out about my past.

“Keith, you pretty much told me everything that night, about James and Nyma, about you protecting us, and also about your feelings for me. I tried to tell you everything before you left the next morning, but you just rushed out so fast…” He grabbed my hand, squeezing tighter than he had intended to. “I Thought I would never have my chance to tell you how I felt, I even spent that whole night, awake, trying to think of how to say it to you.”

I squeezed back, my grip slightly weaker than his own. “I’m sorry I ran out on you, I’m sorry I never told you how I felt, and I’m sorry I never asked for help, I hope you can forgive me.”

He pulled my hand up to his lips, planting a light kiss on the back of it. “Of course I forgive you, but if you do it again, so help me…”

Shiro and Adam walked through the door holding bags of food, “Hey Lance, the ice cream machine was down, so I couldn’t get…” He stopped the second he noticed me. “Keith?” He ran over, throwing his arms around me, I wrapped one of my arms around him. Shiro pulled away, “I swear to god, if you ever do that again, so help me...”

“I know, I’m so sorry, I just, it got to a point where I felt it was too late to tell anyone, like… like I was backed into a corner...”

Shiro looked over at Lance, my hand still gripped tightly in his. “I see you two have had some time to talk things out.”

“Oh yeah, we’re dating now and we may even get engaged soon, maybe have some kids and we could name them Laith and Klance.”

I choked, “ Lance, what the hell?”

Shiro and Adam burst out laughing, Adam saying, “He sounds so much like you Takashi, that is after I finally turned you gay.”

“You didn’t turn me gay… you just... brought it out, okay?” He groaned.

“Suuure.”

“Anyway, how are you feeling Keith?” Shiro turned his attention back to me.

I looked up through the messy matted hair that had fallen into my face, a serious expression taking over. “How do you think I feel right now, I was beaten and then stabbed… twice.”

“Fair point.”

“Sorry, I shouldn’t be snapping at you, I’m sorry,” I apologized. “I think I have a lot of things I need to work on, one of them being my anger issues.”

“Yeah and the other is not asking for help,” Lance chimed in, glancing over at me with an 'I told you to ask for help' look.

I sighed, “ look, I didn’t mean to keep things from you guys, I thought I was protecting you, but I failed to see what it was doing to me, I didn’t want to lose anyone I cared about and I kind of thought everyone would be better off without me.”

“Keith…”

“But I see I was wrong about that, I know you all care about me, so I would like to apologize to all of you for thinking so little of myself.” It was hard to admit, but I meant every word of it. I had to stop thinking I wasn’t worth anything, that I could be easily replaced.

Lance’s arms wrapped around me, much softer this time around. “That’s all we’ve been trying to tell you this whole time.”

The doctors finally came in. They checked my vitals and gave me a few things. They were amazed at how quickly I was able to move around and talk since I had been in a coma for the last two days. They told me the cops wanted to ask me some questions about James, so they made everyone leave. I didn’t want to let go of Lance's hand, I wanted to fight to keep it where it was, but in the end, I knew it wasn’t going to be the last time I held it.

The questioning was… annoying. They asked such personal questions, ones that I didn’t really want to answer. But the one thing that stuck out to me, was that they wouldn’t tell me what had happened to James. They kept evading my question, changing the subject, and I was starting to get irritated.

“Mr. Kogane, please answer the question.” The officer said.

“Why won’t you answer MY question, tell me what happened to him, where is James?” I couldn’t comply any longer. They wanted me to answer all of their questions, but they couldn’t even answer one of mine.

“We are not at liberty to answer that, we just need you to answer this last series of questions about what happened the night in the apartment, was he holding you against your will, was he planning to hurt you?”

“Yes, okay, yes he was holding me against my will, which explains the rope burns on my wrists, my injuries, and my brother's arm, now tell me where the hell he is,” I yelled.

The officer looked at me as though I had just spit in his face. “He’s here, we have a team supervising him 24/7, but he hasn’t woken up yet.”

I couldn’t breathe, I knew he couldn’t hurt me here, but for some reason I still feared for my life. Why did he have to have this effect on me? Was I ever really going to be free of him?

“Don’t worry, we will be moving him the second he wakes up, as long as you testify against him in court he will be going away for a very long time. Right now he’s looking at three counts of attempted murder, kidnapping, and blackmail. I promise you will be safe.” He sat back in the chair, “And as for the other one involved, she will be going to court for blackmail and breaking and entering as well, your friends with the headband and the glasses apprehended her trying to break into your house the other day.”

The thought of those two tackling Nyma to the ground made me smile, I was going to have to thank them, the next time they came to visit.

“Just try not to get yourself into any more trouble.” And with that, he got up and walked out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How could Y'all think I would kill off my baby boi, he deserves a happy ending after all of that. Speaking of, who would like an extra happy chapter of our bois, you know, for me putting you guys through all the torment. Let me know in the comments.


	22. Happy Endings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam and Shiro are finally getting married, and Keith and Lance get their own kind of happy ending.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith

It’s been over a year since the incident, James’ trial ended about a month ago, let’s just say I won’t be having to worry about him for a long time. Nyma was put under house arrest since it was her first offense, but both Lance and I have restraining orders against her, so she won’t be a problem either. Speaking of me and Lance, things have been going a lot better than I expected, but I wasn’t even expecting to be with him sooo… anyway.

Shiro and Adam were getting married today, Lance, hunk, and I were the groomsmen, and Pidge, Allura, and Adam’s sister Maggie were the bridesmaids or groomsmaids, I wasn’t really sure how that whole thing worked.

It was a beautiful spring day, the flowers were blooming filling the air with the most amazing smell. I was helping Shiro get ready in the back room, the only thing we were both bad at was tying the tie, why did those things have to be like a jigsaw puzzle?

Lance stepped in, “Why are you two such disasters when it comes to dressing up?”

“I have never once had to dress up for a wedding, thank you.” I snapped back.

“Well, you’re going to have to learn for the day we get married, I won’t be there to tie it for you, well I will be, but you can’t see the bride on the wedding day, and I think I’ll probably be the bride, ooh, maybe I should wear a dress…”

“Lance!” Both Shiro and I stopped him.

“Can you just tie the damn ties already,” I said impatiently.

“Rude.”

“Sorry, I’m just a little nervous, I didn’t mean to snap like that.”

He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me in close. “It’s okay, don’t worry, it will be over before you know it.”

Hunk came rushing in, “Guys, it’s time, Shiro you need to get out there now.”

“Well, here I go, about to marry the love of my life in front of all of our family and friends… and I think I’m having a panic attack.”

“Calm down, just make sure to breathe, we don’t need you passing out up there,” I said grabbing his jacket and helping him into it.

We all walked out, down the long hallway, out the back door, and down to the start of the procession line. The girls were already waiting for us, as we got in line. Pidge was with Hunk, Lance was with Allura, and I was walking with Maggie as the best man and maid of honor. Shiro turned around and I gave him the thumbs up as the music began to play. They were using their song, the one they had heard the first night they kissed.

♪ One step closer  
I have died every day waiting for you  
Darling don’t be afraid I have loved you  
For a thousand years  
I’ll love you for a thousand more ♪

We walked to the beat of the song, lining up at the altar until it was time for Adam to make his entrance. I had a feeling Lance would be this way on our wedding day, making the biggest scene when he walked down the aisle. He stepped out, his white tux glowing in the light of the sun, walking with his father.

The ceremony was quick, Shiro was so nervous he dropped the ring and almost said Adam’s name wrong. I kept feeling these little taps on my back from Lance, letting me know I wasn’t alone, it actually helped.

The music started up again and I couldn’t have been happier to get off that stage. I grabbed Maggie’s arm and pulled her along, maybe a bit faster than I was supposed to, but I had to get out of sight so I could build my energy back up for the reception.

Lance caught me in the bathroom stall, peeking under the door with a smile. “I thought I might find you in here, are you going to let me in?”

“Why are you sticking your head down there, and of course I’m going to let you in,” I chuckled.

He came in, closing the door behind him, and knelt down in front of me. “You did good today, I have high hopes for our special day.” He grabbed my hand lacing his fingers in between mine, “You know you can’t spend the rest of the night in here though, right? I need my dance partner for at least one song.”

I looked up, my eyes meeting with those ocean blues. “I promised you a dance tonight didn’t I? I was just recharging myself for the reception.”

“Can I hang out with you while you do, but maybe on like a walk or something and not in this dingy bathroom?”

“Okay,” I chuckled.

“Great, then let’s go.” He stood up and pulled me to my feet, it was pretty tight in the bathroom stall, I could feel my crotch rub up against his. I quickly opened the door and squeezed my way out. We had been dating for over a year now, but I was still afraid to initiate something, it just brought back too many memories.

We walked down past all the wedding guest and into the wooded area. There was a little path that leads to a white bench surrounded by a field of flowers. There were so many different colors painted throughout, reds, blues, purples, and pinks, it was amazing.

We sat on the bench, lance scouting in until I could feel his leg pressed against mine. It was weird, his actions still made my heart skip a beat, even after a year of dating. His hand grabbed mine, sending goosebumps up my arm, his head slowly nestling into my shoulder causing his hair to brush against my neck.

“Keith?”

“Yeah, Lance?”

“You love me, right, and I love you, so I’ve been meaning to ask you something.”

“What are you talking about of course I love…” He had gotten up. Kneeling down on one knee, he pulled out a small box from his jacket pocket.

“I Love you more than the universe itself, you are my future, and I want you to stay my future... forever. Keith Gerald Kogane, will you marry me?”

I felt like I just had the wind knocked out of me, my heart beating out of my chest, tears forming in the corners of my eyes. “Of course, yes, yes, a million times yes.” I threw myself at him wrapping my arms around his neck.

He caught me with a stumble and wrapped his arms around me, “Oh thank god, that was the most stress I’ve been through in a long time.”

I pulled back and planted my lips on his, the warmth inviting me in for more. I never wanted to stop kissing these lips, I loved it every time. His tongue made its way past my lips and started a tango with my own. The heat rising through my body and into my face, the passion as we groped at each other, the way he caressed my bare skin, it all began to overload my senses.

He pulled back, “Are you okay?”

“I… I’m… shouldn’t we be heading back for the reception soon?” I dodge the question, I didn’t want him to think he did something wrong.

“Oh crap, we gotta go.” He helped me up and pulled me back down to the reception hall.

Dinner was amazing, some kind of pulled pork buffet with all of the best sides. The best part was making Shiro and Adam kiss every time they tried to take a bite, let’s just say they took away my glass.

They smashed cake in each other's faces, Adam threw a bouquet, and they did their first dance. Finally, it was time for dancing. I could already see Lance making a beeline for me, the corners of his lips raising higher every step.

“Come on Mullet, you promised,” He said holding out his hand.

I took it and he pulled me out to the dance floor. We danced all night, it felt like it was just the two of us. It was starting to get late, and we were almost out of breath when a song came on…

♪ I never had no one that I could count on  
I’ve been let down so many times  
I was tired of hurting so tired of searching  
Til you walked into my life  
It was a feeling I’d never known  
And for the first time I didn’t feel alone

You’re more than a lover  
There could never be another  
To make me feel the way you do  
Oh we just get closer  
I fall in love all over  
Every time I look at you  
I don’t know where I’d be  
Without you here with me  
Life with you makes perfect sense  
You’re my best friend ♪

This was our song, this was the one I wanted to play at our wedding, to walk down the aisle to, or dance our first dance to. I looked up at Lance and he smiled at me, I had a feeling he was thinking the same thing I was. I lead him around the dance floor swaying along to the song, just this last song and then it was off to bed.

As we made our way through the door, things started to get heated. It began with some passionate kissing as I pushed Lance against the wall. He pushed back flipping me against the wall this time, landing soft and hard kisses down my neck and onto my shoulder. I pushed him back making him topple onto the bed, ripping off my jacket, and jumping on top of him.

“Lance… I think… I think I’m ready.”

He stopped pushing me back. “Wait, are you sure, cuz you don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“I do, I just… I don’t want you to be stuck with things the way they are, I mean what kind of relationship would that be?”

“Keith, you don’t have to have sex with me to make me happy, I would gladly live without it as long as it makes you happy.”

“Ugh, Now I just want you more.” I grabbed him and pulled him in for a kiss.

He started to unbutton my shirt, he was surprisingly good at it considering I didn’t stop kissing him the entire time. He pulled it off throwing it across the room. His hands caressed their way down my shoulder blades, over and down my spine, and branching out just above my waistline. An image popped into my head, but it wasn’t Lance, it was James. Shit. 

I pushed myself off of him, gasping for air. My head was swimming, I felt like I was going to fall overboard. “I… I gotta stop… I can’t, I’m so sorry,” I cried.

“Keith, calm down, don’t be sorry it’s okay to tell me to stop, I’ll always stop when you tell me to.” He placed his palm on my forehead. “Don’t ever apologize for that, got it?”

“O-okay,” I said looking down to the bed.

He placed his hand on my chin lifting my head up to meet his gaze. “Keith, I Love you for you, I don’t ever want to hurt you, so please tell me anytime you feel uncomfortable.”

“Lance, I want to try again, but maybe at a slower pace?” I had to try, I didn’t want it to be like this forever.

“I think I can do that.” He leaned in and kissed me softly.

The kisses were much different from the ones on the way in, less aggressive, but still just as fiery. He pulled me back on top of him, kissing my neck lightly.

“Let’s try something.” He shifted me off of him and rolled me onto my side. “Remember, if you want me to stop tell me.” I nodded with a smile. “Okay, I want you to focus on me, don’t look away, just watch me, and I want you to try to associate everything I do with my face. If you don’t like something tell me and I will stop and do something different, got it?”

“Umm, okay,” I nodded again.

I looked at him and did as he said, I didn’t take my eyes off of him as he planted a couple kisses on my chest, slowly moving his way down gently planting kisses as he went. My body felt as though it was floating through space, weightless. My head fell to the bed instinctively, but he stopped and told me to focus.

He started to use his hands, gently gliding down my chest and arms, stopping only when he reached the scar hidden under the tattoo. I felt a jolt of energy as he pulled my arm to his mouth and softly kissed at the blade and down to the palm of my hand. His other hand was caressing ever so gently above my waistline, the feeling sending chills throughout my body.

He unbuttoned my pants, slowly pulling the zipper down until it released some unwanted pressure I hadn’t noticed. Another flash of James crossed my mind and I jumped a bit, his hand releasing from my pants and flying up into the air. “Wait, don’t stop, I just… I really don’t want you to stop.”

He looked up at me, “Are you sure?”

“Yes.” God the intensity was driving me over the edge, I didn’t want to stop now, I never wanted this feeling to stop.

He grabbed at the edge of my pants and boxers again and slowly began to pull them from my waist. It sprang to life as it slipped out from its prison. Why was I embarrassed, I had a hard time maintaining my focus on him, my head falling back to the bed again.

He rolled me onto my back, coming up for a kiss. As he pulled away he asked, “Is it still okay, are you still doing alright?”

“Yes,” I said breathlessly.

With that, he made his way back down and grabbed all ten inches in his hand. I let out a loud moan as his tongue flicked across the tip. He really wasn’t just playing around anymore, his tongue dancing around the tip and down to the base. “Fuck!” I moaned, the pleasure intensifying as he buried the tip and part of the shaft in his mouth.

“Do you want me to stop?” He said pulling off.

“No... please god don’t stop... don’t ever stop!” I was trying to catch my breath, but it was hard when his head bobbed back down, taking in almost all of it. Everything started to go blurry, my body was tingling like crazy, and I felt like something was about to happen. “Lance… I… I think I’m gonna…” It was too late, I felt the pressure release and my body went into full spasms for what felt like an eternity.

When everything finally calmed down, Lance came and laid next to me. “How are you feeling?”

I laughed, the awkward tension in the room drifting away. “I feel amazing, I… that is honestly the first time I’ve gotten one of those.”

“Wait, what? You’ve never gotten a blowjob before?” He propped himself up on his side so he was looking at me.

“Well, the only person I had been sexually active with was… but that’s not the point.” I couldn’t say his name, I never wanted to hear that name again.

He kissed my shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, you just gave me something no one has ever given me, you gave me pleasure and happiness, and god it was the best feeling in the world.” I rolled onto my side to face him. “Lance, I want… I want more, I want you to… why is this so hard to say, will you, ya know.” I made this weird motion where I stuck my fingers through a hole I made with my other hand.

He burst out laughing, “Please don’t ever do that again.” His face dropped, his eyes staring into mine. “But seriously, I will only do this if you’re one hundred about it.”

“I am, I am one hundred percent sure about this.” I was practically begging at this point.

“Okay, just let me…” He drifted off as he fumbled with his shirt and pants.

I laughed when he got stuck in his shirt because he forgot a button, he didn’t think I was funny. He laid back down next to me, I had seen him in his boxers before, multiple times over the last year, but tonight it was like I was seeing it for the first time. I could feel my cheeks heating up, my awkwardness coming back.

He leaned in gently caressing my lips with his own before passionately pressing them together, and the fire was relit. Both of us locked at the lips, his hands moving down my chest, across my abs, and down to my thigh. It slowly moved back up and down towards… “Oh shit!” I yelled as his finger gently pressed against my opening. “Don’t stop,” I said as he tried to pull away.

He rubbed it a bit more before pushing it up to his first knuckle, another wave of electricity jolting through my body. He slowly pushed it in, further and further, until he couldn’t go any further. He pulled it back out and pushed it back in, causing me to moan with pleasure. Holy fuck, this was amazing. He slipped a second finger in, slowly moving it in alongside the other, stretching them apart inside me.

Another finger in and my eyes were rolling back into my head, god this was torture. I put both of my hands on his cheeks and said, “Please, just… I just want you, not your fingers, all though they are doing a good job, it’s just not enough, please?”

I didn’t have to beg for long, his fingers sliding out with a pop. His dick bounced out as he slid his boxers off and tossed them to the side. Now I was nervous, it was a lot bigger than I had expected, I had never really seen it standing at full attention. He spread my legs and I got ready for what was about to come, but instead, he leaned over me and grabbed my face.

“This is a big thing, are you absolutely sure you want me to do this?” He asked.

“Will you stop asking and just do it already, I love you, and if I didn’t want this I would have told you by now,” I reassured him placing my hand on his cheek, my thumb caressing softly across his lips.

He grabbed the lube from his bag and lined it up, I could feel the tip pressing gently against my opening. I gave him one last go ahead and he pushed it in slowly. I could feel things getting tighter, the girth of it filling every last crevasse. It wasn’t like before, it was good, it felt like I was on cloud nine.

He bottomed out, it was deep, but a good deep. “Are you still good buddy?” He asked.

“Ye-yes, please don’t stop now.”

He smiled and began to pull out. Oh my god, why has it never felt like this, I wouldn’t have minded it so much if it would have felt like this every time, but I’m glad it was Lance who made me feel this way.

The various noises I made only caused my skin to grow hotter, my body wasn’t able to handle the feelings I was going through at this moment. He kissed my neck and chest while he rocked back and forth, going faster only when I begged him to pick up the pace. My head was swimming, I could feel myself begin to peak, and from the way Lance was sounding, he was peaking as well. With a couple more thrusts both of us screamed out, sending waves of pleasure rolling through my body.

Lance fell to the bed beside me, his breathing was deep and ragged. “Well… that was not… expected.”

“Oh yeah, is that why you had a bottle of lube in your bag?” I mocked.

“I’ll have you know I always carry around a bottle of lube, you never know when you’re going to need it, besides it came in handy didn’t it?”

The blush grew so deep I didn’t even know it could get this hot. “Well, I guess you’re right on that one.”

“Was it okay, did I hurt you?” He rolled over and nuzzled into my side.

“No, you didn’t hurt me, and it was way more than okay, it was like nothing I’d ever felt before.” I wrapped my arm around him and pulled him closer. “Lance Addiel McClain, I can’t wait to marry you and spend the rest of my life with you.

~The End~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to say thank you to all who followed me and supported me on this written journey through pain and despair. I hope you all enjoyed it, I know I enjoyed hearing all your thoughts. Make sure to drop a kudos if you haven't already and who knows I might start another one soon.


	23. Surprise Y’all!!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I think I’m going to make a pt.2

Hey everyone I’m back!!!

So I miss writing this story so much, that I have decided to make a part 2. It will probably start sometime next week so make sure you check my profile or search for I just want a normal life pt.2.

Plot  
Keith and Lance are planning their upcoming wedding, but when Keith starts to see ghosts of his past, he can’t help feeling like he’s going crazy. Lance wants to help him as much as possible, but he thinks it’s just the stress of planning the wedding.

Everyone is moved out but still living in close proximity, Keith is in therapy, and it starts 6 months after the end of pt.1.

Is James coming back or is Keith really going crazy, I guess you’ll just have to follow along to find out.

Also, follow me on Instagram @animefangirl823 for updates and more.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, so there will be a lot of chapters so bear with me. This is a slow burn for sure, so I'm sorry ahead of time for the length. Keith Will be going through some pretty heavy things, so trigger warning ahead of time as well.


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